Onlyhereforthelaughs
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It pisses me off that a dumb post like this goes Viral IN AN HOUR, but my little pantsless dancing Trump, which I made myself, can't break 30 points. You suck, Imgur. This is garbage content I stole from Facebook.
ImAghast
And he's going to take the Epstein files with him, at the request of the USDOJ...
fractalsphere
Dasnekones
Sadly this one looks much better designed to my novice eyes.
IceWeaselX
Immediate upgrade is respecting the science behind spherical submersibles.
Dasnekones
Definitely but I would argue the sleek design and the absence or stuff poking out on the back is also a major plus as the last one was just begging to get caught in something
maincarrot
Wouldn't it be funny if the sphere made an optical illusion that things appeared much further away than they really were, and they just fuckin bulldoze their glass house straight into the Titanic and implode again? 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻
FireArrow
Why does it look like a fancy coffee maker?
ParryLost
It's powered by the famous Dunkin-Keurig Effect.
Nbiakro
ballsoutflyer
https://media1.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1cTBuaXVtMW9heHozbWhpZGJnNXZ4Ym15NXNzdDAya3RoNDFkbnoybSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/l2Sqf6CokrCwXDvcA/200w.webp
beelzebob23
Lets go Deep Sea, do your thing.
psstuphere
Fingers crossed
AzgarOgly
two years already?
bemibet
Madchant
PrincessLeliana
At least their sub has a proper control mechanism
mediumrarechickenstrips
timbazi
uh oh, i hope im not next
autmed
autmed
dudbdjf
SpartaWolf117
do i dare hope it's Elon taking his best buddy Donald for a trip?
Onlyhereforthelaughs
Didn't you hear? They bwoke up. :C
NZSheeps
Elon is sucking (up to) the couch fucker, now
Gogoglovitch
And if there's another disaster like the last one, it'll go just the same: people will be ghoulishly gleeful about the deaths of billionaires, the non-billionaires piloting the sub or riding with them will be completely forgotten, and it won't do a thing to make the economy any fairer or distribute their wealth to anyone but their heirs.
mikeatike
Does licking their boots help?
mrthewhitee
Well, he's already off to a better start. Conceptually, this is similar to the one James Cameron took to the bottom of the marianas trench.
RustyRedbeard
Can we get more billionaires in this one? 5 at a time just isn't gonna cut it.
celestedrake
Need a whole submarine yacht
Ink41d0
Poke a big enough hole in a regular yacht, it becomes {a} submersible.
witless1
BastardMan1977
I'll laugh my ass off once again if this billionaire bites it too
dingofdong
To be honest, if that picture is anything like what the actual design of the sub will be then I'd say it looks a lot more plausible than Titan. The crew compartment is spherical and made of a homogenous material, for one thing (and would thus be both stronger, and easier to model/check/maintain, respectively), and there aren't loose cables and protruberances everywhere for things to potentially get snagged on like there were on Titan. Alas, if the pic's accurate this one might get away with it
maincarrot
I'm hoping the refractive indexes are so different at the depth and with the glass, and glass thickness differences, and the inherent shape of the cabin itself bubble itself, will create a lensing effect inside, makin them think something is further away when infact it's literally right infront of them and they just fuckin ram the whole thing right into the Titanic's bow at cruising speed.
Oh, you wanted a close up of that railing? Sure let me get up to speed and *tink* 😧... OH FU💥
MortimerMango
this one appears to do pesky things like hire real engineers and let 'the man' certify their vessels for 'safety'
Toqom
To be fair the last guy was a millionaire who attracted billionaires
smashole
Im not gonna let the man tell me whats safe! Slaps backpack full of rocks.
jasondeslin
Fingers crossed that the engineers that were hired are just as pissed off about everything as we are...
Comet260
These billionaire buffoons DO realize they could just hitch a ride on one of James Cameron's subs or commission him to build one, no?
landisfloatingrock
Um no.
IAlwaysEatGlue
This one was made by the same guys who made James’
IslaNublar
So I get that a lot of people's introduction to private submarines was the Titan disaster, but the industry has been around for ages. You can purchase single-seater submersibles all the way up to yacht-sized ones to live in. If you've played Subnautica I'm going to blow your mind when I tell you the Seamoth and the Cyclops are based on REAL LIFE VEHICLES. Anyway, the point is OceanGate did EVERYTHING wrong, intentionally, because Stockton Rush was a narcissistic, hubris-filled fuck. And that's..
IslaNublar
why the thing imploded. Companies like Triton or U-Boat Worx make legitimate, SAFE submersibles/submarines. Proven designs that have all safety certifications and are approved by different regulatory agencies. So while I'm all for billionaires to be squeezed out of existence, literally, a submarine going to the Titanic is not an automatic disaster for everyone involved. They're just not common due to the expense involved.
invaderjak
Ok, I'll say it: Release the Epstein files! (was that the thing I was supposed to say?)
purpatain11
Do you think OP has them?
invaderjak
humor isn't quite your thing, is it
PotatoCatz
https://media1.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1Ym4ybGVnMHl3ZWdoa2oxeHB2NWExZThtMmtwNWM1ZHk5c2Z4a3Q0aiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/W5ZUxqXT1lmiysXsDE/200w.webp
NZSheeps
Just get AI to design the submersible
mikeatike
ParryLost
"Sir, the proutic haripotator has gone offline! It's an emergoacy!" "... Deploy the baby."
sometoast
Needs moar skids
Hevach
We can make them out of the floutation haterial.
Grovertrove
Proutic Haripotator? lol
NZSheeps
The best kind of Haripotator
ThePunneryOfficer
Escape Harch
CookieJar6502
Honestly looks better suited than the ocean gate vessel, there's a reason our deep sea vessels use spheres for the personnel
Dasnekones
Oh yes. This one is 100 times less insane. Hardly perfect, but less insane. With this you are at least beginning to approach actual submersible design.
keillrandor
Don't forget to hook up the doll...
naught101
Finally a valid use of GenAI
Evenmoreuselessname
EMERGENCY, BABY!
squillis
This baby's covered in thrusters, but none of them are thrusters!
wooliebooger
ESCAPE HARCH
LesbianRedwings
Seriously that one got me https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTY1YjkxZmJlaHo1bjJrM2tsYXppeDliYm5wMm9xYjZxNzBxb2k0dzhmMmFiNDM0aiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/kC8N6DPOkbqWTxkNTe/200w.mp4
AllTheGoodOnesWereGone
It's ok, this time it's an XBOX controller.
Hexidimentional
Honestly the logitech controller was the only sensible design decision, dual axis thumbsticks and triggers works fine for a submarine
Onlyhereforthelaughs
OOH, brand name! Fancy!
InfocalypseRising
SpeakerToLampposts
Don't count your billionaires 'till they're squashed.
Bunhyung
Titanic - Killing billionaires since 1912
mercyPandaRunner
Rockefeller didn't become the first known billionaire in the modern age until a surge in his oil stocks about 3 or 4 years after that.
Let that sink in. There weren't ANY known billionaires in 1912.
Mirrormancer
Why does it look like a giant stapler?
oldpotatoes
Why do you?
ballsoutflyer
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1bWg3aWQ5NXBqZGlpbXk0OWszcWU3aDBqb25hOG1vNGlqejQyNW01YiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/3o84U5xPhrn42WgBJC/200w.webp
Dasnekones
Unironically that shape is the best design for a small submarine.
Crew compartment at the front, spherical. Equipment and propellers at the back. Hatch above and some kind of "feet" below with equipment or robot hands.
The stapler look is definitely also enhanced by the large amount of glass used for the crew compartment.
voydkastor
https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1dzdjczQ2d2dqY2xtM2JkaXU2ODljbWwzdzBhZXNpd3BrbHdyajJ4NyZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/uQm30cjKJQB6x6x99r/200w.webp
WaitingForTheDrop
I was thinking pencil sharpener
WeaponizedJerk
Looks much better than that dumb pill shape Ocean gate used, actually.
DocWino
I’d bet that’s not what the actual sub looks like.
Sfingks
Why do you look like a mutant hairless ape?
NothingPrince
Nice ivwas thinking coffee maker
SteersAndQueers
What if we kissed in the deep-sea coffee pot?
CheeseB0t
Death by kurig
SteersAndQueers
Nespresso can permanently cure your depresso.
CheeseB0t
I'd rather drink battery acid. It's less astringent
celestedrake
Both
BobaFettApproves
Maybe a pencil sharpener
NothingPrince
Omg yes my son has one just like that
BobaFettApproves
I knew I’d seen one like that before. I’ve seen SO many examples of movie/tv space ships that were designed from household objects like this, so I was not surprised.
RocMage
Why did they change the design? The last one worked perfectly.
IAlwaysEatGlue
Because this one was made by the same guys James Cameron used to go to the bottom of the marina trench. This one won’t fail
RocMage
Well where's the fun in that?
Dasnekones
Eh. The last one took too long. That thing farted around for 5 years. I cant wait that long!
QuasiIntellectualChimpanzee
What you mean storing it for 9 months uncovered during the winter is too long?
Blank1612
Eh it'll be fine, they already had a whole bunch of customers that has paid up front. Get that thing in the water now!
ApothecaryGrant
Progressively sanding out the wrinkles that formed in the layers of woven carbon sheets to keep the hull nice and smooth was just
override367
man I was really hoping feeding billionaires to poseiden was going to be a yearly occurance
chinesemario
The only revision I'd like would be a camera like they have at scary moments in a roller coaster that goes off just before
BigDaddysMeatWagon
Honestly looking at the new design I'm worried it might not work. Those spherical shapes are notoriously strong.
INeedMoreGifMeMoreJustOneMore
Those plastic domes are prone to weak spots. It'll buckle
RocMage
I thought so too, but there's gotta be a hole in there somewhere and they are probably still using an offbrand bluetooth wireless controller.
Bignholy
*Batteries die in controller*
"Quick! The manual ballast controls!"
"... The what?"
Cornflakes91
im still so baffled by that.
using a game controller, fine.
but use a dang wired one which's batteries cant die
RocMage
I've emcountered this same logic at my work. "And we bought a wireless mouse and keyboard that sits on top of the device for management!" It's literally sitting on the device? "Yes!" Why is it wireless? "uh" The customer will use this mouse and KB about once a month on average. Which means in probably half the cases they use it, one or the other will have a dead battery. Just get a wired one.
lackinglife
Professionals going in with no windows or like 1 tiny one but yea let's just make a sub that's only window, why not
meganical
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTY1YjkxZmJlcDh3dHd4emNqdTExaHY2OHNxN3A1N293eDdsdGs1cW05aW50YzduNSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/a3ty8BiKZolSliQFy8/200w.mp4
manystripes
The window was the part that survived on the previous sub, so it follows that if the whole sub had been made of windows it would have been fine
Ijustwantquiet
Who are you so wise in the ways of science?
PotFox
Glass actually has really good compressive strength, which is what you want in an ultra-deep diving submersible. Spheres are also the best shape for withstanding extreme pressure. AFAIK the reason why glass spheres haven't been used in deep sea diving before is not because they don't work, but because making a piece of glass that big and that round is absolute ass. Tiny windows are used to minimize the size of the joint between glass and hull, the joint is the weak point, not the glass
IslaNublar
Round shapes survive the best under pressure because it's equalized across the surface. Some of the deepest-diving submarines consist of a spherical pressure hell inside an outer hull. This one looks to be the same way. The spherical hull is attached to an unpressurized one. This is much, MUCH safer than Titan ever was.
Ink41d0
What I'm hearing is, "pay / sneak somebody in to poke a tiny hole just before launch so it becomes not-that-tiny at X depth".
IslaNublar
Heh, that's going to be harder than you think. That hardened acrylic sphere is probably at least 5 inches thick. Look to the left side. See how there's distinct inner "bubble" ? That gap there between the outside and in is actually how thick it is.