NSK1986
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My two year old started climbing up the banister/railing in our split level house. Rather than him nose diving into the basement, I got a little creative with a solution.
Before - the netting helped for a while to keep him from squeezing through the spindles but recently was being used like a ladder to climb up.
After - $12 on Amazon and about 30 zip ties later…
Guess who doesn’t want to climb on the banister/railing all the sudden?! They look pretty brutal, but honestly they’re not that bad. Just enough of an ‘owie’ sensation to make it not so fun.
Sugar tax
Shaows
Are those anti-bird strips?
xyxyxyxy31
williagr
No, they're anti-government-drone strips.
ArtOfKarolMichalec
No, it's chocolate
LespritDeLescalier22
No more birb shib on the furbniture
TotallyNotASnail
And anti-child now too
db17k
Same
70m4h4wk
The birds at my work love those ones. The little spikes help hold their nests in place.
whooptydoo
lol
billiebitkiller
I use em to keep the cats off the counter.
Mrbrown512
Anti homeless bird strips
smaard
Happy that the strips provide homes for the birds!
JoeTheBummer
Anti homeless baby bird strips
BellsTheorem
Chocolate kisses.
circlebreaker
Danger Legos™
NSK1986
Yep!
SgtJohnsonsJohnson
Genius.
downrightmike
Dad am I a birb? Yes I can prove it! These are anti-bird strips and they work on you, so you are a bird. Sorry you had to find out this way
TheOnlyMioto
It's crazy how dads multiply in the comment section.
Arkentra
But birds arnt real. So does that mean your son isn't real too? /s
ThisDeservesMoreUpvotes
xBoneDaddy
Yea, the sentiment here was my first thought…
SlasherQuan
I haven't worn a ring in 20ish years because a friend had his finger torn off because the ring got caught on something similar when he fell.
SlasherQuan
Was an important lesson for me.
eebogur
Eight years of being told about the dangers of degloving have instilled a fear I doubt will ever go away, so no rings here, either.
ToodlesMcPoopinsack
Fighting Sioux hockey fan. Did you go to UND?
iamthemanwithnoname
That'll stop those homeless people sleeping on your bannister. What are you, Birmingham city council?
RedRacoon
All city councils
F4TH0G
Must be Salford area
DKB13
Where in Brum are these spikes?
iamthemanwithnoname
Council flat entranceways mainly. It was a big deal about 20yrs ago when they were installed. Keeping it topical :P
Realia
OMGoddess you honestly made me lol and now I feel bad.
q2grapple
Keeps the skateboarders off it as well
lEetfuk
this comment wins the internet today lol
texasinja1718
Looks more like anti-pigeon measures since it’s on the handrail
montee
Maybe we have it wrong, the government is trying to keep the babies from taking over!
DouglasJamesBrown
Ay it mukka
ineedair
I saw this post and my first thought was about the homeless.
HampsterDanceInMyPants
I lived in bham... yeah... fuck them.
DickButtDave
Man fuck Birmingham it socks
TheN8
It sucks, too.
BinxPlaysGames
Got me. Upvote
DickButtDave
It does both and more
Addrammelech
That's what government in Sao Paulo, Brazil puts under bridges to make homeless not sleep under them.
edgareplekjekk
What a way to spend limited public money.
ionicseraph
Because nobody could possibly sleep on the flat surface of that slope...
SilentShift
Honestly, few flattened boxes or some such and a bit of padding on top of those and that'd be an alright spot still (was once homeless)
SilentShift
Hardly ideal, but if its pissing it down with rain it'd keep you dry and off the ground
algavinn
We have boulders in portland, so the homeless just sleep on the streets now. Worse for everyone. I want to cover it all with mattresses.
maxdefault
I'm 2017 Atlanta closed a homeless shelter with 800 beds and that lead to homeless living under bridges to fix the problem the city of Atl
maxdefault
Turned the homeless into Soylent green jk they put rocks under the bridges and told the homeless to fuck off.
tenaciousjeebs
Right?! This is a city council solution. A dad-level solution would have been to install safety netting and to let the kid be awesome.
tenaciousjeebs
I’m surprised that 1.) you would brag about implementing this, and 2.) that so many people approve of it.
GoodBrotherGrimm
So what would you do?
tenaciousjeebs
Install safety netting and take my kids climbing, if they’re into it.
Dustorn
Ah yes, climbing gyms are well known for letting 2 year olds on the fucking wall.
PotatoFaceSmurf666
Keep an eye on my fucking kid so he doesn't mount the banister?
GoodBrotherGrimm
Right, so you watch your kid 24/7?
DoctorDerpper
You keep up this arms race with your kid. They are gonna be badass at running the Ninja Warrior courses as an adult.
NSK1986
Haha! Well at least I have that going for me!
MonkeyWithAHammer
I want you on my fortifications team when the zombie apocalypse happens.
finetoroastasimamarshmallow
For a guy who was born in the 70s, this is funny
haquie
I can support all of this except one thing no one should be forced to be a Blackhawks fan
NSK1986
Ouch! Shots fired! Thats actually a UND Fighting Sioux flag. Like the Blackhawks little cousin. Def. a Hawks fan tho! Was exciting a few>>
NSK1986
Years ago. Hard to top 3 Stanley Cups in 5 years…
danielm7
Looks like chocolate
FiftyShadesOfBroccoli
Forbidden Toblerone
GottomEXE
Is your kid a pigeon?
ImNotReallyADoctor
DIY barbed wire fencing for your 2 year old... lol
MindOfMobius
is your kid homeless?
MyFavColorIsGlitter
Isn't it so funny how you have a nice house until you have a kid and then it's this stuff + bright color plastic toys everywhere?
NSK1986
Haha yep you got that right!
GoodGraces
Kids. Always trying to murder themselves.
Fyremusik
My cousin managed to knock a few of those balusters out when he was young. Turns out were only tacked in place. May want to check them all.
BrazilianThunderPanda
This has been another ad from your friends, the makers of Birth Control. Birth Control: so you don’t have to do this kind of shit.
flyingirishman82
Is your son a bird, by chance?
ReitnesTenought
Clever.
YourMotherApproves
We've come a long way, guys and gals. So have zip ties. Make sure to buy the ones with tabs so you can reuse them.
SanityAsylum
Nice work! I would have just used a shock collar/electric fence. Lucky for my kids they never climbed the banisters.
montee
Don't forget random attacks. Gotta keep them on their toes!
yoyo42
I use surprise water pistols on cats. Works on kids too, except on hot days.
ElbowDeepinaTinyOctopus
Almost as shocking as a beating with jumper cables.
YoSamiteSam
Just let him fall off the Bannister. He'll stop doing it one way or the other.
tomyironmane
My parents just beat me whenever I did something life threatening... or fun... or if I had a problem...
Vitrum
I would've just beat my kid. Luckily I don't have kids.
mountiedan
With jumper cables, right?
PrepareAMotherfuckerForThisShit
As is tradition
pirogoeth
I thought those were chocolate legos and am now disappointed.
Peachos
I clicked for chocolate Legos too :/
neverhappytoasterdog
Thought spiky kitkats
spiceass9000
Same..
shadowdragon81
Wisecracker42
Lol my mom tells a story of how once I called her saying my arms were tired, she came into the room and I was dangling from the second floor
Wisecracker42
Railing that looked like this. Ran up the stairs six months pregnant and pulled me up and over, later found little hand prints from the base
NSK1986
Haha thats crazy!! Yep trying to prevent that going on here. So far, so good!
Wisecracker42
On the main floor to the top and halfway back. I was 2-3 but I'd climbed the outside railing, avoiding clocks and family photos haha
AssGrapez
Puft , as soon as they throw something on top and realise it protects them you started a new game
NSK1986
Well shit…
LuncheonsAndDragons
Take a note from prisons and castles. Tilt the top of the wall toward the person you don't want climbing it.
KeeperOfTHEGIF
A head start to a criminal career >:)
Ravenselm
As the mother of a 3 year old (who does nothing but push boundaries) I applaud your solution. Improvise, adapt, overcome.
SteveMND
FallingStar7669
It could have just removed the nails in the place it wanted to perch, but no. That is a birb on a mission.
hammersquirrel
YouTubeRed
TemporalOnline
Did they superglue the spikes instead of nailing them? kkkkk
KileyBarker
Looks like it's on brick. Don't wanna risk splitting/chipping by forcing a nail imo. Glue is just best choice, here.
NSK1986
That bird doesn’t mess around!
Marwick42
How did we survive as a species, when our first years are nothing but loudly complaining and suicide attempts.
Frederf
TheVampireDante
Wait, that's supposed to stop?
whyexactly
That's why we used to have a dozen or so kids, so that hopefully a couple would make it.
LordofSandvich
some native americans used things like baby boxes to keep their kid strapped to them at all times. And they didn't have 2-floor buildings
Jackster9000
As a species, I think we didn't have stupid suice rails
kingrd
We didn't live in multi-story houses for a lot of years
NSK1986
Haha! When you put it like that it seems hard to believe.
ATerribleArtist
Researchers found obsidian blades stored in the rafters of ancient north American huts(houses?) And were confused for a while why, coming/
ATerribleArtist
Up with the theory "they stored closer to the sun because they believed it would keep them sharp" which held up for a while until someone/
ATerribleArtist
Questions it by saying "it's ancient child proofing for leaving kids in the house" which I assumed every sighed and went duh...
Marwick42
It's amazing how the first explanation we think of for these things is usually religious superstition.
ATerribleArtist
Yep! Whenever an item is found in repetition among living spaces, it's usually given the label "prayer object" and glossed over, like it/
thevortexmaster
A friend of mines kid climbed over the crib and broke his neck and died. This is a good idea. I just put my kid in a regular bed as soon>>>
NSK1986
Yikes thats sad about your friend… definitely what we are trying to avoid here. And its been good for a couple laughs so far.
thevortexmaster
It was many years ago but sad none the less. Kinda thing sticks with ya. I bet it's good for laughs!
thevortexmaster
As it was apparent she was going to climb over.
docchloroplast
…fuck, I need to anchor my son’s furniture in his room asap so I can make his crib a toddler bed already.
thevortexmaster
Luckily it was in my spare room and my old bed was in there. I just put her in that.
PeeterGrant
We had to put a tent thing in our daughters crib. I'll never forget her waking up early yelling Dadaaa for me to come unzip it.
Ulthirm
Those can be illegal in many places due to the inherent fire hazard.
PeeterGrant
What is the fire hazard of a crib tent?
LateNightBunnyParty
Oh my gosh, this is horrible! I moved mine into a toddler bed as soon as she could stand cuz I was scared to death of this possibility.
thevortexmaster
I think it's a pretty freak accident. Not the usual
LateNightBunnyParty
No, but still a possibility.
thevortexmaster
Definitely I still wasn't gonna take the chance
BigTittyGothKitty
They look brutal but if it will stop your kid from legitimately killing themselves on accident, then yeah. Good on you, dad ♥
Imgerruinedimger
I fully support it. I work in surgery. Harvested far too many kids that didn't have something like this ro stop them.
HenryLongfellowIII
"Harvested" is such a lovely word.
Loribob
Makes me think of Bioshock..
adrianontherocks
Hahaha this is reminiscent of the shit you do to keep cats off of counters. I love it.
beefybill
what do you do!?!? What do you do!?!?
Liquid404
Put a cucumber there.
ByThePowerOfSCIENCE
Also, make sure they have a perch like a post.
ByThePowerOfSCIENCE
I've heard some say that they put tinfoil or crinkly plastic. They hate the sound and the feel.
paranoidplatinum
Depends on the cat. Mine doesnt like it, but my friends evil cat will walk on any surface. Sticky tape, tinfoil, plastic wrap, she dont care
AimlessSavant
T I n f o I l
Ghlargh
I have a method that has worked for my entire life. I've never had a cat.
Tristanisawesome
Squirt them with a water bottle whenever they do it
waitwuh
Sometimes cats just learn not to do it while you are around, then.
Tristanisawesome
Ideally you hide when you do it