TheDukeOfTuebrook9000
400957
10597
152
Forever Alone
Jul 1, 2017 3:46 PM
TheDukeOfTuebrook9000
400957
10597
152
Flexster74
How else do you want to go?????
Chevalpuant88
Yupurineutah
I have a very great friend in Pompeii called Biggus Dickus.
ireallylovehippos
He has a wife you know.
Yupurineutah
Pffghmmhmmmhmm...(swallows tongue, sweat intensifies...)
ovation07
New meaning to rock hard
46ntool
I was gonna say something like that so,,, so I believe I have to +1
Imaloserbabysowhydontyoukillme
FlockOfSeagulls25
fleawuss
Except we have no idea who he was.
DeletedByAdmin
A metal bracelet found near him says his name is Biggus Dickus.
Noismute
Guy - "damn you internet! "
FFBC
Hard as a rock.
BruteHoleForce
That's a helluva burning discharge
OatmealBreakfast
Pyroclastic cloud likely blanketed him in seconds and would have killed him instantly. I guess you could say he never saw it...coming YEAAA
Zupaniccarr
They may have been suffocating shortly before the cloud, and many seem to have seen it coming. In the end it was just too hot for them...
fartharder
SoraHjort
.... which then led to me remembering that one episode with the dog....
fartharder
;(
tjluv
this needs more upvotes
Endocrom
Mmm-hmm
rando53
Sorry to be a spoilsport, but he wasn't encased in rock. He was buried alive in ash. His body rotted away, but left an imprint in the soil,
rando53
which archeologists later discovered and poured plaster into. He most likely suffocated long before he was covered up, so I'm sorry, but
rando53
pyroclastic flow isn't his fetish. Asphyxiation is.
BrianStuart
The world was ending. Might as well enjoy it.
UnicornofPeril
This is me. This is how I die.
YeahWellAboutThat
Well, did he.. http://imgur.com/Pm91lLg
JuanToddy
Somebody has to make a gif with warren from "There's something about mary" saying "- he was masterbating!!"
XXXassclown
At least he died doing something he loved to do.
MozartDidntPaintTheMonaLisaTwice
Says XXXassclown
Tornadotaco
Being buried by rocks?
ClassicRand0
Getting stoned out of his mind
SleeperXib
nice.
Mayyybe
He went out touching something he loved to do
TedTheMan
A small something...
Mayyybe
Ha!
DanTheActualMan
Ur name.....
The701
"Scruffy's gonna die the way he lived."
DoublevBomb
SweetTeaYankee
Himself
SomeCrazyNerd
No shame in that.
xmWarhawk
I can't even love myself. Good on him!
theyar
Am I the only one who thinks this guy saw the lava coming and thought, "shit, better enjoy my last few seconds the best I can!"
IREALLYLIKEREDHEADEDWOMEN
Ash would have killed him first, or water.
SleeperXib
Way more practical than dying on the street while carrying all your stuff.
moonXbeam
lmfao
happinessconsultant
Sometimes you gotta come and go
Chromosomes
Smart pun
Nuttsy
No.
poorlyWRITENshortStories
My thoughts exacly
AsAHistorian
What if he hated masturbating?
FloppyLettuce
No such thing
XXXassclown
Do you think he was being forced to toss one off at gunpoint?
JonHooman
Spear point? Dick pun Hey-oh
MarilynKerr1
Came and went.
GrumpyCosplay
"Smith! Did you find any bones?" "Yes, but not the ones I was expecting..."
lWulfl
"It was hard to find them"
lordofhouselurker
Starfis
Keep the eyebrows down Milhouse.
ImASnek
These are not the bones you're looking for.
DanteHicks79
aftu
https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/geology.png
ASlowKiss
Too bad he lost that game of "the floor is lava" though
SleeperXib
*air
Tythagoras
He also seems to have lost the bonus game "the floor is pyroclastic flow"
noblespaceplatypus
"I'm about to erupt harder than Vesuvius!"- This guy, 24 August 79AD
IsaacNewtonDiedAVirgin
Is Pompeii where this guy can be found?
iwhantabir
Jaqdakloun
Nigga you almost got me in trouble at work, I'm in the middle of a call center laughing like a maniac at this.
DanglingNuts
Kyuukichi
And this is why we need "best comment of they year"-awards and comment-favoriting folders xD
JoeSaraza
"Challenge Accepted" - Mt Vesuvius
MartyMcFlytheFungi
DumboFighter
too soon dude...
FilipJonsson33
Sockpuppet89
I hate to be 'that guy' (I don't , I'm a c**t) but Vesuvius didn't erupt, it exploded. There was no lava.
Megallion
He went for that one last rub.
AceHibbleton
Holy hell I chuckled
fluhatinrapper
I hope he got to finish. What a way to go.
SweetKnightmare87
Bravo! Lol
sciencebasedlifeform
Still a better love story than twilight
iBlameItOnRio
RicVictor
Stormaggedon27
Probably
Tekni
wholm
That's muh bday!
gavinhos
Ahahahah
BarefootJackrabbitOnAHotGreasyGriddleInTheMiddleOfAugust
Jesus
flassk
Gonna blow, eh? well 2 can play at that game!
bigdog1983
IWasDoingFineFarting
"Bitch, please" - Vesuvius
SlackerTactical
"hold my magma. watch this"
DanglingNuts
fatlittletree
CptRobotNinja
Brain cloud
GoredonTheReposter
Source is Joe Vs. The Volcano.
dawillyofbilly
Vesuvius didnt erupt and cover the city in ash, it was this man.
ImAnAnarchist
He identifies as either a volcano or an attack helicopter with all those hot loads.
BallsackHippo
I'm thinking about so many reply right now. He dropped hot lava everywhere loll
maximsk
That username, though.
Flyndaran
Pyroclastic flow not much if any lava.
ConsumerOfStories
Well, in his defense, lava is pretty hot. It'd be difficult not to get rock hard when it's literally coming at you...
AcadiaEinstein
that is a great joke. no sarcasm
entropyk
This was, I believe, pyroclastic flow, an eruption of ash and heat that travels at unbelievable speed.
trdfrgsn
His johnson in one hand and prob a bark drawing of Queen Nefertiti in the other.
psycin
or a cuneiform tablet ? world's first anal porn , anyone ?
sowillo
i was hoping someone wasnt going to nitpick in that +1 but unbelieveable
blitherypoop
They were like 1000 years apart.
MerToo
Cruel, but not unzippably so.
fatlittletree
That Mummy's a cougar.
trdfrgsn
That's why it's on bark.
TroelsyTwo
I can't help but think it's actually a man trying to protect/shield his jewels. Not sure that did much help. Shield head or junk?
MrBoogerPig
Sure looks like a boner in his hand.
SleeperXib
He should have laid down and put a blanket over himself.
LizardsInTheSky
Was there a desk he could duck and cover under?
blitherypoop
Not like either would work. Lava.
Zupaniccarr
I mean I know it's not important, but it wasn't lava... it was a thick current of superheated gas and ash.
TroelsyTwo
Yeah.. I been to Pompeii. Pretty sure that was it. Herculaneum was different though even though not that far from each other.
TroelsyTwo
As the other person stated. Already dead when lava came.
TroelsyTwo
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2010/11/101102/pompeii-mount-vesuvius-science-died-instantly-heat-bodies/
Zombibi
Die Hard
Fredfinks
Best Pagan festival movie ever
LargeCanine
Why isn't this top comment?
SleeperXib
This one. This one right here
ITryToOnlyRespondInGifs
Welp-that officially changed my interpretation of one of my favorite movies....
jimwormmaster
Yeah...then what was Die Hard with a Vengeance o_O
ITryToOnlyRespondInGifs
jimwormmaster
Close, that was released on the third Friday of the month :P
ThegreatconjunctionistheendoftheworldorthebeginningHm
I hope he finished.
DemoB0y
JESUS CHRIST man! There are just some things you dont talk about in public!
FartedWhileMakingUpName
Oh, he did. Impending doom was his kink.
12bmccandless
The most pressured 1 min challenge...."that lava looks like a tit.."
amazingrusher
*hot ash
TangoTangoSierra
Slow down, Sean Connery.
FellOutOfAWindu
Fucking underrated right here ^
DanglingNuts
He came, he saw, he came again
escalinci
Krakatoa, meet spermatozoa.
ThegreatconjunctionistheendoftheworldorthebeginningHm
noice
Zat01chi
I woukd like to think so
Blango27
Worst blue balls ever if he didn't!
Saxxon92
Blue balls since 79AD
fartinacolander
That's what he's covered in, it was a backlog.
PimpMyDadForKarma
God damn. What a way to go right?
ThegreatconjunctionistheendoftheworldorthebeginningHm
Yes, right before the desperate loneliness sets in.
PimpMyDadForKarma
Well the idea is that you die before that can happen.
serpentinebaboo
You're an optimist. Way to look on the bright side, buddy.
ThegreatconjunctionistheendoftheworldorthebeginningHm
https://youtu.be/ljbao-JjRoM
Fuckweasel
What a beautiful sentiment. No, really. He's facing imminent doom and your hope for him is that he found satisfaction in his last moment.
ThegreatconjunctionistheendoftheworldorthebeginningHm
Well, yeah.
kenobijuan
It was probably more of a "fuck it. I'm going to die anyway" jerk.
Jatopian
Imagine just a blueballed Roman ghost.
DanglingNuts
ThegreatconjunctionistheendoftheworldorthebeginningHm
Now I am
TheGhostofElizabethShue
What a way to find out pyroclastic flows are your fetish.
FallingWithStyleSquirrel
Pyrowhatnow?
LadyAz
A stream of hot gas and matter that is shot out of an erupting volcano. Travels at around 700km/h. (~435m/h)
IHateSupernatural
Depending on the makeup of the pyroclastic flow, it could slow to about 200.
InsanityCrab
Yup, because hot molten rock frothing forth from up high isn't even the scariest thing about volcanoes!
SafetyAdvocate
somehowrelevantusername
OfficialJoeBiden
Surprisingly relevant
SingularPing
S-Sauce?
OwlXiozee
Watamote
TheSpanishInquisitor
Imagine being a ghost eternally trapped the moment before an orgasm, unable to actually reach it. I'd be a fucking wraith as well.
FlyingButtPliers
Hell Raisers has that I think.
TrustMeImABassist
Or imagine being a ghost trapped in a orgasm, forever, going "OooOOOoohhh" inside the walls for millenniums
MrCasualMan
In the walls you say, kinky.
Garouleloup
that explains everything
tjluv
oh. so that's why they wail
Szechuanian
I could probably settle with that.
FlyingButtPliers
Ectoplasm... Ewww
TrustMeImABassist
Ectoplasm, walling, stalking people, chains... ghosts are just kinky lost souls.........
bringmeeAllurKrabCakes
when the ash started coming down he was probably like "yeah, this is the end. . . whelp, one for the road!!!"
inmat
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qN7gSMPQFss
Icedtorch
It was hot ash and rock, he was probably in pain and covering his genitals as they burnt.
TheWetLustyArgonianMaidRIP
I mean, if your entire body is burning and your skin is melting, I think everything would hurt equally, with the genitals just as melty.
awildhair
If my junk was burning I think I'd close my legs and curl into a ball to protect them not lay splayed out with only one hand covering them.
GenStrike
We're genetically predisposed to protect our genitals over everything else. Also, more nerves there = more pain.
MostIndeedlySo
"A nut in the hand is worth two in the balls." - Pliny the Elder, 79 AD
amazingrusher
For those who don't know, Pliny the Elder went to study the Vesuvius eruptions and then died while trying to rescue people.
SleeperXib
Thank you for this.
therealVexed
hes not a good scholar if he cared for human life. be like neloth
BarryMccokiner
One last nut
pooplop21
''give me just one more nut. i mean night'' : Phil Collins 1984.
fatlittletree
Shitzamboni
TO FLAVOURTOWN
HeywouldJablowme
Maybe his penis just caught on fire 1st
throwyourhandsintheair
thepasswordisbutts
skeet skeet skeet
MuFugginFudge
No he said nut
ChefDad18
VectorCross
What else are you gonna do when you're about to die?
TobyCheng
OP
SomeCrazyNerd
Scream like a pussy?
Cadaverific
Call the gorgeous 32 year old Brazilian girl I have a crush on at work & tell her that making her laugh is the highlight of my day.
darklyquill
Live your life, for just a little while, like you're about to die. Just until you tell her how you feel. Don't let it go to waste, my man.
thepasswordisbutts
Nah fuck that shit. Wait till you're about to die from a burning ash cloud.
VectorCross
Or just grab her by the pussy at the moment
VectorCross
Bro if you got feelings that hard for a girl you might as well just say them way sooner then that
BarryMccokiner
Murder, run away, delete browser history...
LikeTotallyNotTheNSA
The fact you listed these of all things, I'll see what my higher ups can find out.
pierresito
I appreciate you lads being on the case
BarryMccokiner
Oh boy...
SovereignPhantasmia
You sick fuck
ZombieNikon
Yo, do you like totally not have nude pics of Oprah? Can you totally not send me some? You know the address right?
DetectiveSherlockHolmes
Yeah, don't send them to me either
tjluv
I think that's a pretty epic legacy, not pathetic
MerToo
And to think he saw Leia in a slave bikini 1899 years into the future! Truly, love conquers all.
ohHiMark2000
I want to upvote this, but then it will go from 69 to 70 and I can't do that
watisdisidonteven
I downvoted to back to 69 for you!
colinardo
We'll he's close to 200 now so may as well change it back to an upvote lol
watisdisidonteven
I changed it to an upvote, thanks for the notice!
tjluv
she....
KlatnYelox
okay, like I understand you want to correct someone, but why is it important what gender you are?