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I think I’m having a hard time understanding where my dad is coming from considering he had just received a call from the doctors office before he called me, just to ask me how he is supposed to feed himself for the first 10 days if he is not allowed to lift his hands above his nipples? Why was that not the question he asked them? I’m not a medical professional, I am not helping with the surgery. He’s having a big surgery, yes, but he will remain in the hospital for almost a week. They are not sending him home right away. I’m assuming that is the time when medical staff will assist and show my brother and sil (he lives with them) what they’ll need to do for him. I have stated all this to him multiple times. That he needs to communicate and ask questions. For context I’m not much help; I live 45 mins away and I’m not cleared to drive yet from my medical alignment. The reason he needed to talk to me was to not only dump on me, but to also ask me to drive to the hospital very early in the morning of the surgery to witness him signing papers and told me it would be weird if my sil did it, but he wants me and my brother. I also have another sister that lives locally to my dad (he watches all his grandkids durning the day)…so again, why am I the option when I can’t drive, am still dealing with a debilitating medical issue myself, and am expected to just ask my boyfriend to drive me round trip? I just gave my dad a bunch of money too to help him out in preparation for this surgery. I paid all his credit card bills this month because the 200 I gave him for his bday for his trip he did not go on (because the doctor asked him not to) he put onto some weird cash credit card from like Venmo so now he can’t use it except like a cash card? Idk how it works but I googled it to make sure it was not some bullshit (money and trust issues in the past, this man has not asked me for help in years, this was a legit need I felt so I helped and took him out to dinner for his bday which is btw just a few days before mine). Fuck it. I guess two things: I’m either too sensitive, or just stupid and am getting played for a second time. I told him no to witnessing the papers being signed. Not unless he came and got me and drove me home. He said that would not work, duh. So instead of going down the list to my sister he says he’s going to have to ask one of his friends at the bar. Idk if that was to make me feel guilty? or did he just forget about my sister? And he said for my sil to do it would be weird? but I don’t feel guilty, I gave him 500 dollars in total and I’m still not medically cleared to drive. Life pro tip: if you’re going to break your foot, break the left one. Not the right one. Alright I’m done. This shit can just die in usersub. I can’t possibly add enough context for anyone to understand this fucked up family dynamic. I’m just screaming silently into the void because I now can’t sleep and just want to cry because the abused little 8 year old girl that lives inside me is hurt and confused by actions that are both understood and not understood at the same time. Sigh. Mental health is important, I’ll be bring all this up in therapy (please don’t worry random kind internet strangers) because I’m hurt, but the complex childhood trauma, the adhd, and the ptsd makes me feel like I’m in the wrong and that I’m not justified in my feelings. It feels selfish to say that I’m hurt because “happy birthday” was not the first words out of his mouth. I would not be so upset I think had he lead with that. I normally have no issue with his anxiety riddled phone calls, but this one hit me differently.