WolvesAreTheBestPeople
6504
372
20
https://theonion.com/ted-cruz-assures-texans-he-working.../
Jul 10, 2025 5:00 PM
WolvesAreTheBestPeople
6504
372
20
https://theonion.com/ted-cruz-assures-texans-he-working.../
JackingMeHoff
Texas, Ted Crud is your disaster warning. When he leaves Texas for another country be cautious of your surroundings, people are going to die. Don't be one of them.
HeraldOfTheBadger
Bro just retire, take your pension, and go on vacation
meatballdreamer
Its332amAndMyDogNeedsAWalk
https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTY1YjkxZmJlOGxsZGJwNjZpcm1mM3VqaXpqMWlqcDE1YmxkM3ZwY2JsaXk4dXF6eiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/26BRJcBoRVY5rLuTu/giphy.mp4
Ajinxedchef
custardandfishfingers24
Please come back, Al. We need you.se
custardandfishfingers24
If he was my Senator(and mine are so much worse), I'd be glad he wasn't in my state or even country. I'd want him to leave all the time.
malachitedragon
I lust for the day this man dies. It cannot come soon enough. I don't care if internet strangers think less of me for this; if he weren't such an unrepentant piece of shit, there'd be no *reason* to look forward to his (hopefully screaming) shuffling off of this mortal coil.
CaptSchmidtGaming
literally again on vacaction during disaster huh?
Goronhead
Something something fell for it again award.
Gcap2014
He had access to the information the rest of the people didn’t have.. hence why he booked, he’s prob getting weather reports as “intelligence” but who knows.. he obviously doesn’t care
kwyjjibo
Senators have 200 days off per year, odds are you''ll catch him on a day off and who would want to stay in Texas?
CaptSchmidtGaming
eh.... I actually cant argue.
the difference is maybe you should cancel your cancun trip when disaster hits huh.
but then again if its not gonna affect your reelection odds then why not
LychFinderGeneral
Just a coincidence this time, but it was hard to drag him back
tesseract4d2
It's not that he plans his vacations around natural disasters, it's that he's just *usually* on vacation, so they always seem to happen when he's not there.
RansomElwin
Rafael.
bemibet
Does he get points for consistency?
Billis75
rotinaj
I am shocked that he felt any shame, he saw no real repercussions for the last time
twelvoclocklevel
Schitheel
Jamnew60
Well, at least Cruz hasn’t blamed his absence on his daughter, yet.
sadurdaynight
You know what.. at least he came back. Trump hasn't bothered to even show up to any disaster area.
Hawkgirl203
trump doesn’t want to be around sad people, and I don’t think they need any paper towels. Besides dead and missing children might take the focus off trump. trump’s caring is audience driven.
DangerTrain
I cannot fathom why people continue to vote for this wet fart of a human being. People are pathetic.
wanderer2575
Mock him all you want, but they keep re-electing him.
TheWombatStrikesAgain
Conservatives don't like him, but they know how to win: keep voting for the guy with an (R) behind his name. That's what keeps away the things they hate more. Like women's rights, healthcare, and restrictions on firearm ownership.
EverNotRelevant
Why would anyone want him to come back? When he fled the big freeze and came back, all he did on return was a stupid photo op of him doing some cleanup. Useless pile of crap.
lydecker17
Thorketil
These days, The Onion struggles to do satire. It's a head-to-head race with reality.
angelofsnark
This man is an absolute waste of genetic material.
filton2018
Born in Canada, to immigrant parents too.
stupidbastardinutah
The skin and oxygen he's using could be used by far more important creatures like pigeons and cockroaches.
GoneSolo
I'm sure he would make a good meal for an apex predator somewhere in the woods.
VinnyVeritas
material ? No, that's just scrap - or, more accurately, he's CRAP
NM156
Well, I think this time he wasn't vacationing to get away from the disaster!