CrimsonPermanentAssurance
58440
2074
21
Jul 7, 2025 6:21 AM
CrimsonPermanentAssurance
58440
2074
21
DeadeicPrints
Thats so perfect
mward1984
...did Beast Boy write this?
TheDoctorIsInside
Wish a goth girl came up to me and yelled something questionably insulting about my head followed by inviting me to drink.
ScottishGeekPlays
I'd love to see a comic series of this
axe0y
I need this in my life
Larktonguesinadicecup
I like how the story describes an average autistic woman as some kind of alien being
XuncuTheTiger
*venomous envious hissing*
OP, wherever you are: I bite my thumb at thee on the off-chance thou art an Montague.
Quessir
pilomotor
Definitely a cat person. She chose a husband the same way stray cats choose an owner.
hairytrigga
"Lives off cigarettes, black licorice, and dick"
Jimmytheeel
This is like 85% of what I want in life
CitrusyGarlic
Oh ok, just go ahead and live my fantasy without me, see if I care...
whizzer
I pictured this story in my head so vividly and is better than any Disney/Pixar love story.
CrimsonPermanentAssurance
When I read the word "Stomp" I just knew she had giant goth girl boots
martineb72
I really need to learn to read better. I see 12 years ago a goth girl, and my mind mixes it into a 12 year old goth girl. I literally yelled, "What the hell!" when it got to vodka and sex.
or0b0ur0s
I get it that everyone just wants to be wanted & accepted. I just can't get past chronic licorice & tobacco breath...
CrimsonPermanentAssurance
I don't understand anyone who likes Licorice
Retrikaethan
as a some-kind-of-autistic person: that is definitely a love story, no suspicious quotation necessary.
rossonerinho
are the kids hers?
Cranbananarama
Nah, just some they found on a rainy day and adopted.
arfysdad
We found ours at a playground. They're running loose all over the place.
DustyBibbles
Damn. I want love like that.
BryanTenn
Still a better story than Twilight.
katolu
Not yell, but, "blurt in ALL CAPS". Interesting phrasing.
Shikkarasu
Volume is measured in decibels, but intensity and tone are measured in font/formatting. Regular < italics < bold < CAPS. I'm not sure where underlined is, since that is just how a lot of urls are formatted in text now which desensitized us all to the parent-voice that it one implied, but I think I remember it being between italics and bold back in the 1900s.
SuperFlamingTominoHead
I read "a 12 year old goth girl", and got confused, and was even more confused when it got to sex.
relsky
People out there just living my dream...
redtails2649
Perfect love story
ifyoutakemeseriouslythatsonyou
That's a diet sure to give her high blood pressure.
BlindGardener
Damn unrealistic beauty standards. Most women need more than just black licorice to supplement a good diet of dick and/or pussy.
opasnisivizmaj
Cigarettes, that's the missing ingredient :D
technofiend
Lots of calories in vodka.
RanOutofWit
This is not unlike how I met my wife. We don't have kids, just the two cats, but have had a very happy 13 years together.
C0ZM0
big head?
AmandaStephen
Don't leave us dangling, how did you 2 meet
RanOutofWit
At a mutual friends wedding. I think her comment was "I like your voice" (NZ accent) followed later by "I actually like you" because I'm also dense as the undiscovered next elemental island of stability. Various friends, including the bride and groom, later conspired to have us share a hotel room.
AmandaStephen
Hope the friends got free drinks for a year. I might try your partners approach as subtle girl hints clearly isn't working for me
Dimestream
Man, I have got to figure out where these girls are giving hints instead of saying "ew, no" and then laughing with their friends.
Dimestream
Maybe I just need a bigger head 😆 Quick, someone give me compliments! https://youtu.be/hRHLVZNhdH8
AmandaStephen
Im going to steal your wife's line as subtle girl hints is not working for me, so you can thank her from me.
RanOutofWit
I will! And, yeah, subtle does not work. Practically everything subtle can be interpreted as just being nice/polite/friendly. Being direct is important.
rmx256
I smoked for twenty years, I started when I was in single digits. I used to cross state lines to get my smokes as they were cheaper. I took my carton to the counter once and the cashier was possibly the single most beautiful porcelain goth I have ever seen, I audibly gasped. She smiled and looked at me with the bluest eyes I have ever almost drowned in and said, in a great grandma ET voice, "do you need anything else with this, hon?"
That was my last carton of cigarettes. I quit after this.
JasonThorn
Plot Twist: She was trolling you.
CrimsonPermanentAssurance
Probably never smoke a better carton anyways
GreaseMonkeyOfLove
This is what introverts need to stave off the loneliness: a dominant goth
PimpinKen
Yes please
Lontri
Yeah, this one guy I've found hot for years was like "how did this happen?" and "you were the aggressor" (as a joke) after stuff happened. So, he came to hug me,I had and I'm not sure how many drinks while running from one beer garden to the next to watch bands on different stages. We were hugging and I just decided to kiss him. He kissed me back. We left the festival area and went back to camping. Spent the rest of the festival together. I miss him so fucking much now. We live far apart.
AnythingMuchShorter
(david attenborough voice) The dominant goth surveys the nerds in her vicinity, it's clear to her, as it is to them that she may take any one of her choosing, or she may leave. They dare not approach or try to run while she is eyeing them. (...) There, she has made her pick and pulled him from the group without a fight. This one is meek, like the others, but his broad shoulders, and wide feet, suggest he may have a dick to her liking, if that is, he can be instructed how to use it properly.
LincLoud
Yep
Meowmix138
You say this until, as a dominant goth, you run into a boy with an avoidant attachment... then it's just not so fun anymore. -sadface-
gizmomelb
yeah unfortunately that's me with the avoidment attachment for the past decade.. I was focused on my son and couldn't / didn't know how to also prioritise my goth g/f and I was the one who ended up being the reason she (rightfully at the time) left me. I miss her and we still semi keep in touch, but I know I've lost one of the nicest and honest people I've ever met.
TyrionLannisterIsMySpiritAnimal
If only if only
MrRandom314159
Sounds like she was the introvert and she forcibly chose him.
WienerBeener
So we've known the cure to [male] loneliness this whole time...
HardTimeKillinFoulNews
Did you say a dominant Goth?
01123581321345589144233377
FatBastardVegetarian
I LIVE HERE NOW!!
Clayman8
Can confirm. I had that gift of re-life for 4 years but the dominant gremlin was a bit too narcissistic and i was too mild for her apparently.
DeadeicPrints
I think the goth was the introvert in this instance lol. Both maybe, but almost definitely the goth lol.
Luffian
Can confirm. Even if it doesn't work out, you'll at least get into a ton of rad bands
Tadrakyn
Almost in my case. She approached me at the bar, we started talking about music, I showed her Massive Attack, she was basically "yep you're mine now" and gave me 5 years of passionate chaotic love in exchange for bands, food, and bed and then dipped. No regrets (still friends)
MuffinProof
Honestly, the goth part isn't a requirement. t
Shoutrr
introvert doesn't mean shy. it means social interactions are tiring, nothing else.
SquiddelyDooDoodlyDoo
All that matters is one person is less introverted than the other or at least they're equal introverts BUT they are just comfortable and happy being around another person but separately sort of
Those moments are the best
Parallel play or something it's called
myscaleisntaccurate
Correct.introverts just have a smaller social gas tank. Empties pretty quickly.
Lunchbox1988
Could use one of those
afterdarkart
Listen. Yes. I'm thinking back to every g/f I've had and the 3 best were this woman. Or the same Fae.
T3sl4co1l
When autism musters enough confidence to say YOU HAVE VERY BIG HEAD.
Grimmrog
Was his weener out? Which head did she mean?
FellAsleepInSchool
Heisanevilgenius
https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1bDRraXEwbWxlZ2d3MzRwOW15a2NvbWp1ZWwwZXYya2xwaHQ4ZXYwNiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/26ybwvTX4DTkwst6U/200w.webp
SeeJenJen
Rizz them with the Tism! Sorry.
dwolvin
Wanna see something cool!?
VaultGirl69
I do constantly tease my husband about his short arms...
Hashbrown123
Do you call him T Rex?
thePyromanic
Truly a name for a king.
counterintel
My friends dad is a short, napoleon complex right wing conservative with a short temper. HIs wife is an Italian liberal with an equally short temper. Needless to say: they argue.
His wife had mentioned to me once how her husband *loathes* having the size of his feet made fun of.
In the middle of a family argument I got sucked into someone made a comment about having to shop for childrens shoes and everyone's assholes puckered while he stormed off and then we all left.
VaultGirl69
Oh, my husband and I goof each other constantly. We almost never fight. Sex is great. He has an amazing butt and great hair. He's also a feminist and is attracted to all women (including trans women, which are also women). I'm the short angry one. He's also charming.
ancalime
He lives in constant fear that she will leave him for someone else with a bigger head.
CaldariBob
So Charlie Kirk has a chance to get laid?
TheBigBadBonerBiter
Bro needs head supplements.
hiyo365
He does head kegals 2x a day. Anything to keep her.
sturmhauke
Hashbrown123
Then he'll cry himself to sleep at night on his tiny pillah.
straymutt117
https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1NWhwZDlveHhjbTJhZGd3dDZ2dWdtc2d0MjlmZnVlcDE1bWo2dTlrNyZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/11Rp98Vk9n5s7S/200w.webp
SleepyHollowAppleTree
Joecoin2
No one has a bigger head. https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1bzEwdm1lYWRicDZrenBwbW8xejFwZmhuaXh2eGk1MnhrNnE3dml5eSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/Yvu1wQqXyz8YM/200w.webp
houghten
DukeDarkwood
I think so, Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking? What would the kids look like?
WellWhatTheHeck
I think so, Brain, but where are we going to find tutus at this hour?
Zaranthan
I think so, Brain, but where are we going to find rubber pants in our size?