Iw2dwapimh
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Aug 17, 2023 5:55 AM
Iw2dwapimh
83114
1236
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Emiloo74
I had to show up hemorrhaging to my former doctor's office for them to believe I was really in trouble. Got treated like shit at the hospital because of my weight and not being thre to give birth. It sucked and caused some long-term anxiety.
MerriMod
My sister had to keep changing doctors one after another just to get basic physical exams done. All of them were men and kept turning her away outright, basically saying "you're too fat, go lose weight and come back never". But she's only, like, ten pounds over the average woman her age and is by no means obese. Took her ages to finally get a woman doctor who actually gave her proper care. Wouldn't you know it, her weight was no obstacle whatsoever all a sudden.
dohcohv
I went into the ER with chest pains and a 32bpm heart rate. Nurse shut the audio alarm off on the EKG and came back 2 hours later with a referral to a cardiologist.
iWearAmustache4sexyTimes
Went to new doctor for IBS, every symptom I listed "well, you're probably just pregnant" even after I told him I just got out of an abusive relationship and hadn't been with anyone in over a year... Nope, you're pregnant he said. Real doctor diagnosed me with ibsd, gerd and I had a bacterial imbalance in my gut...
Saxytimes
Not quite related but I once had pain in my throat and the doctor thought I needed to drink lemonade to get my salivary glands working. The actual problem turned out to be I am allergic to lemons. Also got double billed by the mail
emilytangerine8910
It took trying about 10 different SSRIs, SNRIs, antipsychotics, and then about 8 years went by and the eating disorder boiled over, and I found myself at a specialist who told me no one should have ever prescribed me those meds bc I’ve never weighed enough for those meds to work.
Hextator
my headcanon is that doctors have been fucking around and avoiding diagnosing me because they knew I was a woman before I did
elbowdeepinawhateverthatis
spinsterdotorg
I chose a GP who is gay & does trans primary care. He asked why I needed that speciality. I said because you are less likely to have implicit bias. The said, "Wow. Thank you for choosing me as your physician." He was the first one to uncheck some boxes on my history that were there by mistake with no argument.
sitenickname
I wrote about this after being dismissed: /gallery/UUSLlVV
elbowdeepinawhateverthatis
Saved. My partner has been through this shit, and some of the resources in that post will hopefully be very helpful. Thank you!
ToSisPoS
My ex-wife suffered through chronic abdominal pain for over a year. My favourite was an er doc who listened to nothing she said before talking over her to say “we can’t prescribe opiates.” Turns out is was bunch of tiny hernias from a perforated c-section scar.
invaliduserformat
May I ask how long after the C section did she get the hernias?
ToSisPoS
Three, maybe four years? It was a while ago now.
CapablePlatypus
Excuse me, 90% of the time is not believing me that I am not pregnant, even though my period started 3 days ago. Get with the times.
NoThankYouIThinkIWill
One time I took my mother-in-law to the ER because she sliced her hand open on a kitchen knife and the ER doc wouldn't stitch her up until she took a pregnancy test even though she'd had a hysterectomy at that same hospital 30 years prior. A pregnancy test for a few stitches in her hand 😑
LazyUsername99
TBF, this isn't a woman-exclusive issue, this is a "US doctors tend to be pieces of shit or overworked to the point of absurdity" issue. My dad is currently in the hospital with severe sepsis, which developed over the course of a week, during which he was seen 4 separate times before he was finally admitted so cognitively impaired he didn't know his own name. His previous docs had hand waived him at the ER as "Old" "Heat Exhaustion" "Drug Seeking" and in one case, "Gout."
TheRockDude
takes a real piece of shit physician to not even order any labs before diagnosing with gout
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
It's not woman-exclusive, but plenty of studies have shown that it happens to women with far higher frequency. It happens to PoC too, especially black people. Black women get a double whammy.
AxelBeingCivil
The funniest/saddest part is that only the 14th century one is wrong. Witchcraft panics didn't really take off until around the 16th century. Medieval physicians were actually very aware that you could have entirely natural, biologically-originating ailments, both mentally and physically, and witchcraft in the sense of casting spells and the like was usually dismissed as superstition (since it supposed powers other than God controlled the world).
Fedotia
"See if she floats" is basically an old-time protestant joke to mock the catholic inquisition, while the real inquisition went to people not praying the way the pope wanted then mass-confessed whole villages to see if they could be redeemed or if they had to be burned.
AxelBeingCivil
You've got it the other way around. The water test originated before the inquisitions but Catholic clergy were banned from taking part in it in 1215 by the Fourth Lateran Council. It was Protestants who "swam" suspected witches. And there were many Inquisitions, with the Papal one actually being fairly mild. It was the Spanish Inquisition that made "inquisition" synonymous with terror, and they primarily hunted Jews, not witches.
minipancho94
Reminder that sexism and racism in medicine is truly systemic at a fundamental level. We are still using text and studies from the literal holocaust in some cases. It was only within the last 10 years that someone made a book to help identify skin conditions on non white skin. Dude went through medschool without a single non white example and had to write his own damn book ffs. The sexism is just as bad. Fun fact, viagra can prevent menstrual cramps, but it helps women so research was dropped :)
pleaseconsiderthatImightbejoking
There was a sweet spot in the 20th century where it was "I don't know what's wrong with you so I diagnose you with the vapors. Here's a vibrator and some cocaine. Spend a month watercoloring by the coast, or in the mountains". (also witchcraft panics were a 17th century thing. In the 13th century accusations of witchcraft were consider heretical, if they were taken seriously at all.
ghettosoak
Got five hours to kill and want to get even angrier? Give Serials’ new podcast ‘The Retrievals’ a spin. Fuck the patriarchy
memepawn
This is the bias I see most in hospitals… and most of them steadfastly deny they do it… but their records don’t lie. We are living in a time of big healthcare data… the trends are clear if you look for them
Nanntuckett
In America the answer is simply apathy for patients. It saves the insurance providers money to not take care of sick patients.
BuckysGambit
It’s so true. I lost my breasts (cancer) and now my moderate belly *really* sticks out so I get the side-eye/eye-rolls/glares of disgust at every doctor’s office (except my oncologist).
PrincessWasabi
F it, you beat cancer ! That’s the best thing !!!
BuckysGambit
I think so but the judgmental looks hurt, ngl.
PrincessWasabi
Never forget that you are a baddie. People don’t know your story, but I can guarantee you if they did they would feel abashed
BuckysGambit
You made me tear up, thank you kind stranger.
r3dl8dy
A friend of the family had a stroke. Her husband took her to the ER because two fingers on her right hand wouldn’t work right. They sent her home. Husband took her back the next day because something else was wrong. This went on for a week before they finally said, “Oh. Looks like she had a stroke.” Now she can’t move and can barely speak. This was 5 days ago.
thepicklebucket
Doctors should learn to say "Fat, and" instead of just "fat"
JackalopeElope
Have you considered the fact that this is all in your mind??? /j
MajorSession
... Yes, that is indeed why I am here. What part of 'prolonged, intense migraines that result in vomiting' was I unclear about? Of course it's all in my head! It's my head that hurts.
HomeRunWoman
lorilith
...honestly hate when they say that...
PirateRubberDuck
"Of course it is, that is why I'm here asking for a referral to a neurologist."
gelos
Doc said this to my wife, next day we went back and I stood in the room while they talked. Somehow the conversation was rather friendly and respectful and somehow migraine wasn't conjured by the subconscious mind and medication was suddenly in abundance. How odd, maybe its just in my mind?
rick3758
Wife started taking me to medical appointments with her. Multiple times (with various nurses and docs of all genders) they ignore what she’s saying and I will repeat exactly what she says word for word and then they listen. I’m not a pro, i don’t even have any strong presence, just a dangly genitalia that somehow makes me the authority on what’s happening in HER body. It’s horrible how they women.
gelos
The whole tho, has changed from "ask, and you shall be given" customer centric approach to "you'll have to be strong and be able to demand to be respected". Its not just doctor, its any service industry
whitefoxkei
Next time it happens just say nothing and if they keep looking at you, point to her and just say "She's the patient." If they still act like shit just casually ask if their degree is honorary.
MrTiddlesAndHisMarvelousAdventures
That last line made me log in to upvote you!
PrincessWendyB
The truth of this is painful.
GizmosBabySitter
I think you are over reacting to your "pain". You are probably just hormonal.
LilTinGoddess
Are you sure it's not "your special time"? Hormones can cause (totally unrelated symptoms).
psych0bunneh
Ma'am I need you to understand that pre-menstral and post-menstral symptoms can occur up to a week before and after your weeklong menstrual cycle. If your problem managed to occur in the 1/4 weeks per month where we can't attribute it to hormones I'm going to need you to wait a week to see if it clears up on its own and if it hasn't well tell yourself that it has and what you're experiencing now is just hormonal.
itsjustplaid
HYSTERICAL! Have you tried having a baby with your husband?
Mirilali
Had this happen with a few female doctors even... Thoughts any of them would listen to me even with my housemate there with me.. Nope. Finally found success with only communicating with my most recent one (seeing her for 3 years) via sending her messages through the patient portal. Within days of each message I got referrals to specialists I kept asking for and her assistant/med student would be ready to send but she would shut down within every in person appointment.
numonster
My GP (f) and my Rheumatologist (crumbly old m) both insisted my hypermobility/EDS could be resolved with weight loss. Seeing as I was mostly bedbound by then: I starved myself and lost 30kg... and most of my muscle mass. Then they just were just out of ideas and continued to do nothing... Changed GP, refused to see that rhuma again and FINALLY got put on pain meds and physio. I've since gained back half the weigh and I can now move around!
numonster
(the reason I mention the rhuma's elderly status is because he said "I don't usually see people with hypermobility" and when I mentioned maybe it was another form of EDS: well, I'm pretty sure he had no idea what hypermobility or EDS was outside of what I told him. Strongly doubt he ever bothered to look it up. Think he was annoyed by seeing anyone who didn't have arthritis.)
Mirilali
Grats on your increasing return of mobility! I wonder if your new GP would field the idea of referring you to a geneticist to fully test for EDS? Even if it's a "unknown degenerative tissue disorder" status like my housemate received. And I agree about that Rheuma, he probably didn't like the fact that there was something joint related that he didn't know about and didn't want to have to learn a whole new area. Hope the physio continues to keep you moving!
numonster
Thank you! I've been twice before and they were unwilling to do it unless I was "currently pregnant, trying to get pregnant or I could bring my futured kids to be checked", lol I have some signs of vascular EDS, pregnancy might kill me! So silly. My newest GP (I moved a few years back) wanted to send me but the waiting list has gotten so long and they'd probably say the same or refuse to see me. But, I'm still going! Getting stronger!
Xanadulou
I have HSD and my insurance doesn't pay for genetic testing unless pregnant either, so I paid for it out of pocket. Was $200 which....compared to how much I've lost due to this stupid thing wasn't bad
numonster
future*
Iliekbirbs
I had my female doctor, try and fight me telling me to "wait" on a colonoscopy. My dad had colon cancer (and he beat it) but she kept telling me to hold off until I was in my 50s. I said no, I want to be sure I have nothing. Dont want to find out I have stage 3 cancer b/c I waited until I was on my death bed. My insurance refused it at first and I had to send them documents stating my dad had colon cancer. Before they would do it.
Iliekbirbs
When I asked about getting my tubes tied, I was told that my future husband might want kids. I said, I am 42 years old (at the time) and I HIGHLY doubt, I can have kids. With the anti-depressant I take on a regular basis. I am going to wait another year or two before I do it. (Paying off some medical debt now) :/
eggmuffin
They're basically saying "but what if some hypothetical future male person wants to do something else with your body? He obviously gets priority." It's obscene.
Mirilali
Hate it when they use that "someone else" excuse. Glad you were able to get the colonoscopy approved and truly hope they listen for the tubes. Use the "the curse/cycle will end with me!" that might surprise them into submitting for it. (the only curse is the fact that they're reluctant to listen to you)
Iliekbirbs
The colonoscopy was a struggle b/c they thought I was making it up. I said yes, clearly I am making it up. Just to enjoy the prep. /s So I had to have my parents send me my dads info about his cancer. And had to have his doctor, verify that he had colon cancer. And thank you.
whitefoxkei
You caught me! I'm making it up because I just REALLY enjoy getting strangers to shove tubes up my ass!
Onlyhereforthelaughs
"Have you considered losing a little weight?"
caustickiwii
This absolutely happens. That said, as someone whose parents are both surgeons, I want to point that there are lots of good doctors too. And sometimes the patient's weight does legitimately put them at additional risk. Not that you're claiming otherwise, but I've talked with people who legit deluded themselves into thinking doctors can't have good reason to be concerned about your weight.
chrisjfinlay
Purely anecdotal of course but ever since my wife & I lost about 60-70lb each, we've noticed vast improvements in our overall health. Sometimes - I reiterate SOMETIMES because I know what this fucking website is like - it really is a factor.
eadanke
There's some hard weight limits on many surgeries, and obesity related complications with anesthesia. Folks need to plan ahead for that.
Onlyhereforthelaughs
My mom did not enjoy the Wii calling her Obese.
kingkongkeom
Yo mama so fat even the Wii called her obese.
xarmy9
I recently went to an appointment with my girlfriend. Looking at the doctors notes after the appointment it was like he was at a different appointment. He didn’t listen to a word she said and everything he wrote was made up by him.
FancyFeastAdvocate
I had to be in the room with my mother or they just ignored her. It was insane! Just completely dismissed her unless a man told them the issue.
SexuallyAmbiguousPangolin
Had the opposite experience when my mom went in for symptoms that mimicked severe vertigo. The doctor was typing out everything she said verbatim to make sure he didn't misinterpret anything. Your experience seems to be more common, and that makes me sad
Mycologics
I tend to go with my wife to the doctor too, because someone she does try to downplay her pain or symptoms and also because when she didn't her old doctor didn't believe it. We found a practice that is much better now though.
theperfectusernamedoesntexist
Yeah. I attend all of my wife's appointments and act as her patient care advocate. The last one I went to the Doctor tried to have me removed from the office with in moments of meeting me, and my wife acknowledging that she wanted me in the room.
Onlyhereforthelaughs
In the doctor's defense, this might have been so she could speak freely if there was any abuse problems at home. Every time I'm at the doctor's I see signs about it, and how to discreetly signal for help. So it might have been that he thought you were being too present and that she may have been pressure into saying she wanted you there.
theperfectusernamedoesntexist
I am and we are aware of that. This was in minutes of the appointment starting. And there are better ways to execute a safety check than what he did. And my wife Totally agrees with me. When he left the appointment abruptly he even left his laptop open and unlocked with patient information accessible. We waited for more than 15 minutes before anyone returned. When they did my wife gave that doctor an ear full.
Onlyhereforthelaughs
I'm not saying that was the case here, but could be a possibility.
Maverickaura
Which, to also be fair, any doctors who are that on board and aware of patient safety are probably also good doctors who wouldn't blow off her health concerns. Not a garentee, just one positive flag.
ktkboom
My aunt went in for abdominal pain and they gave her a hysterectomy because she was told she had aging/older female issues. Still in pain she died less than a year later of pancreatic cancer. If you believe your doctor is not listening to you, find another doctor who will listen.
ThePunishersVengefulBrother
Doctors are generally terrible in my experience.
InkGoat
... for a $200 copay and a whole day off work for every doctor you visit.
IOftenDeleteCommentsCauseISuckAtTyping
This this this. If it's your primary care doctor, ask for a second opinion. They should have no issue referring you (if that's required), and if they won't, find a new primary care doctor who will. Primary doctors are great for general health maintenance and generally can be trusted for their opinion, but if you have any doubts, move it up the chain. I've been diagnosed with things that a specialist later found to be misdiagnosed.
Xenarion
A very important aspect of having more woman doctors.
ProgeriaProstitutes
It's happening in Belgium. 80% of medicin students are women.
EnokMolkeHansson
ah. then it will soon be a lower status profession and less paid, like all other female dominated jobs. yay patriarchy.
FluroShoes
I've had women doctors who tell me "every woman gets their period" and "you just need to learn to deal with the cramps". I got a new dr after that.
hyperchondriac
That way they can ignore you, but in female.
mwade360
I had a female PCP diagnose me with "anxiety" (new version of hysteria). Had to switch after a few years to get a proper diagnosis.
Emiloo74
My worst medical anxiety came from women practitioners. One poked me in my fat and blamed that for my first hemorrhage episode. The other wouldn't listen to me regarding my second hemorrhage episode. And, I had a woman OBGYN who treated me as less than because I had no goal of getting pregnant. Their sex is not a guarantee of better treatment.
Badprenup
It's why I always choose a woman doctor even though I'm a guy. It's my limited experience but women doctors seem more understanding. They want to know what's going on with you and men doctors I have seen just want to skip to a diagnosis and their next appt.
ExecutiveProducerWolfDyck
Where do you bury the old doctor?
ServerMonkeyKing
Under your local State medical board ... mileage may vary depending on how progressive your State laws and protections are.
WarKittyKat
Unfortunately depending on your medical system and medical access, not everyone gets the opportunity to see another doctor. I've been in cases where the options were a doctor who didn't listen or no doctor.
CycloneSP
you have options? I'm currently unemployed, so I only have the "no doctor" or "no doctor" option
TheBishopofBanterbury
No medicaid? I was on it while unemployed.
WarKittyKat
Depends on the state, in my experience.
CycloneSP
what what I've looked into, I don't qualify for most stuff, and for whatever 'market' thing I do qualify for, I missed open enrollment and waited too long after getting laid off to qualify for special enrollment
TheBishopofBanterbury
What state is this? All I had to do was make less than the state cap (which obviously unemployed people would).