I get what she is saying, sure but she is comparing herself to his limits and by her words taking away his joy. If it isn’t impressive by his standards then it’s not for him, but it may be for her because she is comparing it to her limits. Perhaps there was more context out of the video haha
This perspective depends on if you are a perfectionist or not. Sometimes when you yet serious about something you are chasing perfection which is hard or impossible to achieve. Another approach for mental health is to tell yourself you are good at something even if you aren't really. I think both of these have their place. It takes a lot of guts to take something great and tear it up and redo it until it's a higher level.
Just because the way he motivates is different from you doesn't mean it's bad. This toxic positivity has made my life harder because I kept being told the way I'm doing things is unhealthy, but when I do things he healthy way it makes me feel bad. The only way I can motivate myself to excercise is to not be satisfied with my physical ability. If I force myself to be happy with it, I'll stop exercising.
This makes me sad. 70s on what I assume is gunna be a chest press is no easy feat. It's hella impressive when you compare where you were to where you are.
When I look at others in the gym I do not look at are they lifting more or less than I do but rather how much intensity are the lifting with. We all start from point, with what vigor do we move from there.
You should be ‘competing’ against yourself. Nobody else matters. How does your body feel? Do you feel like you have the capacity to increase weight and challenge yourself? Listen to your body. Everyone is different! My little bro could have bigger muscles than my older bro without even trying. Body type matters.
Yes! Stop comparing yourself to others. It's quite literally apples and oranges in all cases. Way too many variables to be able to make a valid comparison. Some people are able to make things like this their entire focus where as you can only ever put as much effort into it as time will allow when you have other things to focus on. If you must compare, only compare to your own previous work.
Everybody has plateaus for exercise. It's impossible to be constantly improving. Set reasonable goals and remember that just by showing up you've already won.
Don't ask "what weight will satisfy me" ask "how much effort will satisfy me" if you do an hour a day you'll get a certain level, two hours a day a different one.
Well I mean same advice though, you can't push yourself to where you want to go. Maybe a C on this one will help you ace the next one because you didn't burn yourself out. Average out, that's two Bs, which is still good. I always called it a calculus of effort, it's okay to take an L on one assignment if you can spare it. Oftentimes people are working AND schooling... you still need you time. Perfection is not the goal, it's learning!
This right here is the entire reason you can't. The whole thing keeping you bk. It is precisely as hard as you make it for yourself and you've no doubt spend considerable effort and time on making it damn hard. The only way out at that point is to make an equal effort and time investment in unfucking yourself.
How hard is it to just think "I'm enough.", really? Perhaps what you're not realizing is, when it comes to the mind, saying is doing. It's just a matter of repeating it often and loud enough before you believe it.
This is also negative self-talk and thinking this is exactly what sabotages any of your efforts at self improvement. Celebrate the little wins. Comparing to others is literally like comparing apples to oranges in ALL cases. As humans, we are way too complicated and there are way too many variables at play to ever be able to make a valid comparison. If you must compare, only do so with your own previous results.
I am not saying its hard to think this way, but it's harder to believe it. I believe it since I was 9 years old, saw too many people obsessed about how good others are and never look at themself. And I don't compare to others now, unless they are truly on the next level, but I take it as that my way isn't over and I still have a lot to learn. But it took time, yeah it is easier said than done
Well of course it will be difficult to think the opposite way. You literally spent your entire life exercising your mind to think the other way. You just need to try smacking the bad thought out of your mind and immediately bringing in a good thought. Stop lingering in the bad thoughts and no matter what, just smack yourself with a good thought or neutral thought. It doesn't matter how long it lasts. Just keep doing it. Turn it into a game.
I just today talked myslef (out loud) out of letting my low self esteem sabotaging my relationship... I'm still working on it, but I was very surprised how much better I felt after The Talk...
I've been working on this theory to help drug addicts with this. we tend to take these thoughts linger on them, roll them around in our minds no matter how we hurt ourselves with them. We just need to practice instantly swatting away the bad thoughts. It doesn't matter if its not effective for long. Just *bad thought* smack it away, and just do it no matter what whenever a bad thought occurs. It seems dumb and It gets flak but I relate to when I was an addict driving or waiting on my dealer. 1/
At any one moment I could have made a decision to turn around and go home. Just say fuck it, I'm not waiting a moment longer. Those thoughts were never given any attention yet the thoughts that kept me waiting for the drug dealer were always given attention, always "exercised" so no shit it seemed hard to just turn my truck around and go home but it's just one thought that starts these actions and those lone thoughts are easy AF to control by itself, in that very moment. It just requires honing
I can relate to that... Not on the same lvl, but the constant "turning" of thoughts? Yeah. The moment I realized what I was doing and decided to actively stop it, it became clear how natural it is to me. Sometimes, while my mind was idle and the thought started to do it's thing, over and over again, I had to speak out loud "NO!" like it was a misbehaving dog... It's a struggle. Glad you made progress. Keep on "swatting", dude. 👍🏻
sadly i have a similar mentality in the gym when i get complimented for much i can make go up, put down and make go up again.
most noticable when i do OHP. I have a (stupid arbitrary) number i want to hit., i'm close to it again, when i do sets close to that goal there is always one that at least looks twice to check how much is on the bar, or gives visual or verbal feedback after a set.
its nice, but again, i always say... one day, i hit that number.
I have some kind of congenital condition that prevents me from ever developing much muscle, no matter how hard I try. I recently started seeing a new doctor, who commented on my lack of upper body strength and recommended some exercises. The program she recommended is less than half as strenuous as the one I've been doing for over twenty years. I've been a regular at the gym for nearly 50 years.
Yes, my testosterone is fine (I was surprised to learn that) and I haven't had any kind of formal audit of my protein intake but I'm very conscious about getting protein. My wife has a medical condition that requires a high protein diet, so our diet is rich in fish, chicken, pork, and a selection of high-protein veg. Plus plenty of dairy, especially skyr and yogurt.
cabalin
If she is your girlfriend you are a lucky man
Chrisantemus
She Is adorable
ComeAndFindOut
I get what she is saying, sure but she is comparing herself to his limits and by her words taking away his joy. If it isn’t impressive by his standards then it’s not for him, but it may be for her because she is comparing it to her limits. Perhaps there was more context out of the video haha
PenguinNamedWobbles
This perspective depends on if you are a perfectionist or not. Sometimes when you yet serious about something you are chasing perfection which is hard or impossible to achieve. Another approach for mental health is to tell yourself you are good at something even if you aren't really. I think both of these have their place. It takes a lot of guts to take something great and tear it up and redo it until it's a higher level.
sneerglaw
Even if you are a perfectionist it is important to give yourself credit and grace
screenaholic
Just because the way he motivates is different from you doesn't mean it's bad. This toxic positivity has made my life harder because I kept being told the way I'm doing things is unhealthy, but when I do things he healthy way it makes me feel bad. The only way I can motivate myself to excercise is to not be satisfied with my physical ability. If I force myself to be happy with it, I'll stop exercising.
Saxytimes
As a music teacher I get really sad at how many students will tell me they "suck" at playing a piece
SacrificialClam
This makes me sad. 70s on what I assume is gunna be a chest press is no easy feat. It's hella impressive when you compare where you were to where you are.
datphone777365
Ambition for ambitions sake is one of the worst poisons you can impose on an other.
RevengeIsIceCream
That's some really shitty subtitles. I watched without sound at first and it made no sense at all...
PineappleLoopsBrOether
Yep we all hate it. Especially when they put them over faces and mouths.
cabalin
When I look at others in the gym I do not look at are they lifting more or less than I do but rather how much intensity are the lifting with. We all start from point, with what vigor do we move from there.
Magnar1183
Man... 15 pounds is as much as I can curl. Dude's shredded!
plainoldfool
70? What is he doing, shoulder presses? Dude, 70 is still hella impressive!
Kinseeker69
OH DAMN...... PREACH IT SISTER
Bulldogmum
I love her can she be my gym coach.
knotch2
When I hear a woman be kind to a man like this. It always makes me tear up. Thank you kind girl.
cre8majic
Your only competition should be with yourself
tzahtman
But I hate that guy
tarataqa
Whenever I masturbate, I always go for the GOLD!
noReallyIamPrincessBob
You should be ‘competing’ against yourself. Nobody else matters. How does your body feel? Do you feel like you have the capacity to increase weight and challenge yourself? Listen to your body. Everyone is different! My little bro could have bigger muscles than my older bro without even trying. Body type matters.
syntaxxor
Negative self-talk is how I'm still alive, keep your peaceful stuff over there.
StellarJay77
Yes! Stop comparing yourself to others. It's quite literally apples and oranges in all cases. Way too many variables to be able to make a valid comparison. Some people are able to make things like this their entire focus where as you can only ever put as much effort into it as time will allow when you have other things to focus on. If you must compare, only compare to your own previous work.
weedeewee
Is she hitting on him ?
StarryPlough
No they are staging a video for single digit IQ gymbros
Grigother
She’s just being friendly, trust
ItsHedley
Does any think that this is the RAC at GMU
Snooj
But didn't she start out by asking him to compare himself to her?
GravyEducation
Everybody has plateaus for exercise. It's impossible to be constantly improving. Set reasonable goals and remember that just by showing up you've already won.
areyouelonmusk
I'm more of "all pain no gain" kind of guy
BeastofKnowledge
Just being able to maintain.
In itself, is a victory.
Time will get us all, eventually.
Rage against the dying of the light and all that shit.
Zunderfeuer
Stop telling me not to compare myself to Superman!! I can stop that freight train just as he can with the right attitude!
Enoan
Don't ask "what weight will satisfy me" ask "how much effort will satisfy me" if you do an hour a day you'll get a certain level, two hours a day a different one.
PsoasComplainer
Not everyone plateaus, that's why I squat 47,000 KG.
GravyEducation
YEAH WE ALL WEREN'T BORN ON KRYPTON CLARK
Sticklebrickk
Neverending growth? *capitalism has entered the chat*
Slickdoodle
Now we need American Businesses to understand that. sigh.
pmathew
Bro, if you’re not lifting 10% more than last year then you’re failing horribly.
HandoB4Javert
comeonjointhejoyride
Just hit the juice! /s
ILogInToUpvote
So that's why I never win, I knew I was doing something wrong.
GravyEducation
Well ya gotta at least show up lol
AdrianDunne
I wish that was true for exams.
GravyEducation
Well I mean same advice though, you can't push yourself to where you want to go. Maybe a C on this one will help you ace the next one because you didn't burn yourself out. Average out, that's two Bs, which is still good. I always called it a calculus of effort, it's okay to take an L on one assignment if you can spare it. Oftentimes people are working AND schooling... you still need you time. Perfection is not the goal, it's learning!
JohnSmitheson
Only when you know your limits can you break them.
ZeroclockGaming
but....she compares him to herself...its literally the reason she claims its impressive?
fightkostka6
that is way easier said than done
MadamPuddifoot
I mean, the hard is what makes it good when you do it, though.
Goldensands
This right here is the entire reason you can't. The whole thing keeping you bk. It is precisely as hard as you make it for yourself and you've no doubt spend considerable effort and time on making it damn hard. The only way out at that point is to make an equal effort and time investment in unfucking yourself.
MeowMachine12
As with anything, it takes practice
tarataqa
Just like 75 lbs
CptRobotNinja
Most things are
Acsion42
How hard is it to just think "I'm enough.", really? Perhaps what you're not realizing is, when it comes to the mind, saying is doing. It's just a matter of repeating it often and loud enough before you believe it.
YouFartLikeaGirl
It's easier said to others then listen to own advice...
StellarJay77
This is also negative self-talk and thinking this is exactly what sabotages any of your efforts at self improvement. Celebrate the little wins. Comparing to others is literally like comparing apples to oranges in ALL cases. As humans, we are way too complicated and there are way too many variables at play to ever be able to make a valid comparison. If you must compare, only do so with your own previous results.
Jamesstin
Its funny that people obsess about exercising their mind but don't believe the thoughts that pop into your head can be exercised.
fightkostka6
I am not saying its hard to think this way, but it's harder to believe it. I believe it since I was 9 years old, saw too many people obsessed about how good others are and never look at themself. And I don't compare to others now, unless they are truly on the next level, but I take it as that my way isn't over and I still have a lot to learn. But it took time, yeah it is easier said than done
Jamesstin
Well of course it will be difficult to think the opposite way. You literally spent your entire life exercising your mind to think the other way. You just need to try smacking the bad thought out of your mind and immediately bringing in a good thought. Stop lingering in the bad thoughts and no matter what, just smack yourself with a good thought or neutral thought. It doesn't matter how long it lasts. Just keep doing it. Turn it into a game.
YouFartLikeaGirl
I just today talked myslef (out loud) out of letting my low self esteem sabotaging my relationship... I'm still working on it, but I was very surprised how much better I felt after The Talk...
Jamesstin
I've been working on this theory to help drug addicts with this. we tend to take these thoughts linger on them, roll them around in our minds no matter how we hurt ourselves with them. We just need to practice instantly swatting away the bad thoughts. It doesn't matter if its not effective for long. Just *bad thought* smack it away, and just do it no matter what whenever a bad thought occurs. It seems dumb and It gets flak but I relate to when I was an addict driving or waiting on my dealer. 1/
Jamesstin
At any one moment I could have made a decision to turn around and go home. Just say fuck it, I'm not waiting a moment longer. Those thoughts were never given any attention yet the thoughts that kept me waiting for the drug dealer were always given attention, always "exercised" so no shit it seemed hard to just turn my truck around and go home but it's just one thought that starts these actions and those lone thoughts are easy AF to control by itself, in that very moment. It just requires honing
YouFartLikeaGirl
I can relate to that... Not on the same lvl, but the constant "turning" of thoughts? Yeah. The moment I realized what I was doing and decided to actively stop it, it became clear how natural it is to me. Sometimes, while my mind was idle and the thought started to do it's thing, over and over again, I had to speak out loud "NO!" like it was a misbehaving dog... It's a struggle. Glad you made progress. Keep on "swatting", dude. 👍🏻
abtei
sadly i have a similar mentality in the gym when i get complimented for much i can make go up, put down and make go up again.
most noticable when i do OHP. I have a (stupid arbitrary) number i want to hit., i'm close to it again, when i do sets close to that goal there is always one that at least looks twice to check how much is on the bar, or gives visual or verbal feedback after a set.
its nice, but again, i always say... one day, i hit that number.
tinyfootprints
I have some kind of congenital condition that prevents me from ever developing much muscle, no matter how hard I try. I recently started seeing a new doctor, who commented on my lack of upper body strength and recommended some exercises. The program she recommended is less than half as strenuous as the one I've been doing for over twenty years. I've been a regular at the gym for nearly 50 years.
cabalin
Have you had your testosterone levels checked and have you checked your protein intake?
tinyfootprints
Yes, my testosterone is fine (I was surprised to learn that) and I haven't had any kind of formal audit of my protein intake but I'm very conscious about getting protein. My wife has a medical condition that requires a high protein diet, so our diet is rich in fish, chicken, pork, and a selection of high-protein veg. Plus plenty of dairy, especially skyr and yogurt.
lazybuthappy
Better is the enemy of good
tarataqa
*BEST has entered the chat*
Gelaticat
No you’re thinking of perfection. Better is the ally of good.
Gelaticat
“Better than it was!” gets us actual results.
goatyfacemcgee
Oh to be that wise at that young of an age! I had to learn those lessons over many, many years!
KrondorMocker
Luckily someone was filming it all!!
Lovingimpaler
I'd venture she has good supportive people around her, and is emulating what she knows.
losersmanual
I'd also venture she's hitting on him a bit.
Lovingimpaler
She does seem a bit sweet on him. He is a handsome guy, so no surprise. ;-)
Jwhite777
That was my thought as well, she's grown up in house where they all support each other. Lovely to see.
seenunseen
It's easy to regurgitate memes
goatyfacemcgee
True true.
datphone777365
Thats the whole point of a meme, to convey an idea in wn easy to digest and repeat manner.
seenunseen
Yes, but repeating doesn't equal wisdom. My uncle repeats his trump memes to me all the time
tirpider
A word is a word, and just because some of them are variations on shit, doesn't mean they all are.
datphone777365
Never said they did but that doesnt mean all memes are weirdo bullshit. Hence why ya have trump memes and anti trumpian memes... Such as
seenunseen
Sorry, my bad for staying on the topic of this thread
WorkerLurker
More than one