Kazoodles0
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2552
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TL:DR- OP has ADHD and can't get her shit together despite trying her absolute fucking best.
The best apology is to just be better and I know that. But I have ADHD and had to stop my meds because I'm pregnant and now I can feel that my coworkers have had it with me.
They're going to my superviser with every little thing I mess up whenever I leave for my weekend. It's a nightmare for everyone. And my anxiety that everyone hates me is kind of right for once which is just brilliant.
He's gonna shadow me next week so hopefully we can figure out if I'm doing anything wrong or if it's just that my job sucks and nobody likes to cover for me.
I just need to get this off my chest. Down vote away.
*DELAYED MOST VITAL EDIT*
I totally missed this happening! My first most viral and it's about my shitty brain ?. Thank you everyone for your suggestions, insights, and support. It seriously means the world! And don't worry, I'm not giving up.
Send cute animals and pets! ❤
BodybuildingCPA
One of my clients has an employee in this situation. It's a lot for an employer to handle. OP you're doing the right by asking for help.
ineedtotalkaboutsomethings
You’re pregnant and can’t take your meds. Inform your HR department immediately. There are federal laws that allow you to sue if they fire.
DrunkBobRoss
We're here for you @Op.
ZOMGNO
@OP I SHIT YOU NOT, THIS IS EXACTLY ME, OH DEAR GOD, ARE WE THE SAME PERSON????? Hugs, feel free to PM me if you need to talk, IT SUCKS!
LadyTamizan
I'm going through this st my current job, and at my last as well. Official diagnosis of ADHD and my Dr's refuse to give me meds :/
ColdRice
Does your boss know about your ADHD? Maybe he can help accommodate you.
Kazoodles0
They do, and they're trying. My coworkers are less understanding. I'm afraid they think it's just an excuse or they I'm trying to be lazy :/
ColdRice
As long as your boss knows and he’s shown that he’s trying to accommodate you, your coworkers shouldn’t worry you.
AlmightyBeanerdude
Had this exact thing happen to me a year ago. Talk to HR, get medical leave and apply for short term disability so you can get some money.
peanutbutterandham
I… I feel exactly the same way. Thanks for posting, would be glad to chat.
ThanosTheGreat
I’m fucking up in small ways at work as well. Been here 4 months. Had 2 D&A tests and made a mistake again a couple days ago. Fml.
VanessaNelson
Just remember, YOU are the one thinking about you all the time, those other people are busy thinking about themselves
mksu
Fuck up in bigger ways that allude to your ability to fuck them up in bigger ways to establish dominance.
Kazoodles0
Ha, if only I didn't care so much. Despite everything I still want them to like me lol.
FakeOrcPoints
Just keeping chipping away and improving where you can. Small progress is still progress.
alexca22
Tommy Age is free after that
xDEIx
When i make mistakes i own the mistakes. People will understand, and generally gain a bit of respect for that.
Kazoodles0
I do, but I'm just not sure it's enough anymore. They don't wanna hear "I'm sorry". They just want me to be better, to not suck so much.
xDEIx
Then dont be sorry. Tell them thanks for Brigging the issue to my attention i will get it fixed asap.
xDEIx
We are all human and we make mistakes. But most people dont have courage to admit and own them. Be that person and you will gain respect
xDEIx
From your peers.
DietCokeIsTheBest
Exactly. Say sorry and fix it. Don’t avoid, feign ignorance, argue back etc
DeSupotsu
Also have adhd, also having a tough time at work right now. I feel for you, I know it can feel really frustrating
ComcastLover
I'll level with you. No matter the reason, if you aren't pulling your weight and create more work by screwing up, people will get annoyed.
N0S4A2
They have their own lives and struggles, and are not bad people for not having the energy to drag you along. Labour laws are your friend.
gordy77
Don't worry, air traffic control is hard
N0S4A2
You land one plane on top of another one, and suddenly everything is on fire.
BNabs
There's lots of good advice in the comments, but mine would be to force yourself to slow down, try to do less, not more
splinkles
I love & hate my ADHD. I believe in you @OP. You can do this, & there are fuckloads of resources out there to help us neurodiverse folks.
Digitalblade
Any in particular been most helpful? Dealing with this myself
splinkles
How to ADHD is a YouTube series that has been HUGELY helpful. The creator, Jessica McCabe, is my personal lord and savior.
splinkles
I'll dig into my bag of tricks a little deeper and DM you.
PastureofMuppets
Me too pls
splinkles
Of course, friend ❤
hangar
Toxic work environments are not good for ADD. Consider looking for another job; you'll do better at a place that values you
hangar
And if you get fired then you get fired and deal with it. It sucks but it's also pretty freeing
teacher745
Deep breath. Every day is a new day. Remember part of ADHD is extra worry about what others think. You can do it!
noway10
You keep fighting and trying @OP. Don’t let those fuckers get the best of you!!!
Kazoodles0
Thanks friend, I will keep trying c:
alexca22
Tommy Age is free after that
Win1forthegifer
1 NO NO NO NOOOOO! This was me in April don’t you DARE give up. A coworker also w/adhd took notice and made me see that I was off and needed
Win1forthegifer
2 Time to reorganize and get my shit together after I talked with him I talked with my boss and told him about what was going on and he said
Win1forthegifer
3 he understood and was willing to talk to people and help remove distracting side projects people pestered me with so I could focus on my
Win1forthegifer
4 job. TALK and explain. People have circumstances outside of the job but coworkers only see work. They’re frustrated as are you COMMUNICATE
tdawgcatfish
You have a good boss. My bosses are cool. But some would just find a way to get rid of you.
Win1forthegifer
Well they know my usual work and we have a small but solid team. At a big Corp it might be different but since OP is prego and adhd they may
Win1forthegifer
Relent a bit. Besides even if boss doesn’t listen maybe communicating with her team might help considering they’re people not the company
TurkeyBaron
Remember, you are also now 2 humans in 1 body & the other one exerts partial control over you. Inability to think clearly is normal.
alexca22
Tommy Age is free after that
PhiIIipJFry
Your bot is broken
Kazoodles0
Definitely feeling that haha
FeChefImgur
Damn parasites.
meepmorprobotnoises
Samers. Pregnant and can't take my ADHD meds. The brain fog is unbelievable and causing all kinds of problems. I'm sorry you're in it too!
alexca22
Tommy Age is free after that
eageltm
I'm in the same situation. My boss/coworkers dont know about my ADD, i've been blaming it on al the vommiting. They are understanding tho
Shenaniganz80
Lucas?
mrnomoniker
He lives on the second floor
MichelGoussu
Upstairs from me? Yes, I think I've seen him before.
jupitermonkey
is lucas pregnant as well?
Shenaniganz80
He is glowing
mythex
I'm in the process of trying to get a diagnosis for adult ADHD, or just fucking something because I feel the same. Stay strong!
FeChefImgur
How long does that take and how much does it cost ?
SuckerOfFun
Getting a diagnosis of ADHD can be as simple as a single visit to a therapist. If that's not enough it's at least a good start.
FeChefImgur
Surely you need to visit someone slightly more specialised and more than one visit for a proper diagnosis ?
SuckerOfFun
Nope. It's happened to me twice now. See a therapist for one thing and they're just "Oh, btw, you have ADHD." If you have it, they'll know.
FeChefImgur
Wow, ok. Cool.
TimeToPayTheFiddlerWhore
I got referred to a psychiatrist who had me fill out a questionnaire and did an interview and I had a diagnosis within two weeks.
Valkor
took me about 2 months but that was at the beginning of the pandemic and old buddy did a proper differential diagnosis (actual testing).
Valkor
that being said, all we did was chat for an hour and at the end he went "yeah ur adhd af, but lets make sure"
justhereforthemimes
I got mine with one therapist visit, some questionnaires, and a follow up visit, then my GP offered me meds, only paid co-pay for the visits
semanticsamsquamtch
Coworkers will always be like that, and plenty of non ADHD people make constant mistakes at work. I have ADHD. Just relax and do your best.
alexca22
Tommy Age is free after that
Lamplord
Not always. I've had some kickass coworkers in the past
semanticsamsquamtch
Oh I have as well and I would've preferred to write "There will always be" if not for the annoying character limit. Always cutting myself sh
SuckerOfFun
This is my every day life. Still haven't been able to figure out why. Good luck!
riplikash
You might want to talk to a doctor then. It can be really life changing to know what is causing the problem.
OmikronWeapon
do you have help? The why could be a lot of things. Most of my life I'd wonder why things I try don't work out. Turns out, autistic.
OmikronWeapon
Now I recognise patterns I can influence and have access to people that have solutions or tips, where on my own I had just frustration
Kazoodles0
Thank you
Cheesses
They say it gets better, but what you happens is you either stop caring about your stupid mistakes or you learn how to manage it to minimize
SuckerOfFun
And when other people keep caring about the mistakes that you can't minimize, what's your solution for that, great sage?
snoozer
I’ve been through that and you can’t do much. The more you try to change it, the worse it gets. Medical leave for some time if insured
TheMongolianGinger
Find different people.
DietCokeIsTheBest
And what if those mistakes are causing more work for those other people
19ElJefe59
Maybe an attitude adjustment is in order.
SuckerOfFun
After 30 years of trying to fix a problem, you get tired of people who think they know the solution.
asm80dfa8sdfj
You're the problem and you're the one who needs to fix it, not anyone else. Love, someone else with ADHD.
19ElJefe59
I realized last summer that a lot of my problems are related to my ADHD. Depression and anxiety occur with ADHD. I've found a job and ...
prrrkitten
1. get a doctor's note about your medication. 2. talk to your boss and HR about it?
withadot
NO! Talk to NLRB & EEOC first. KNOW your rights. Get doc's letter requesting accomodations for work w/o disclosing confidential health info.
prrrkitten
You have a good point!
CoySwimmingKoi
Also, pregnancy brain is a thing, sucks when it affects work. Maybe a notepad for tasks, etc can help
Haveyoutriedturningitoffandthenonagain0
Don't forget self love. Listen to some Brené Brown books on audible. Daring greatly, and rising strong as a spiritual practice, are great.
slightskew
This. Doccumentation !
Skizzlesnap
So important, that it has 2 “C’s”.
slightskew
What are the two c's?? Is that like the three sea shells?
Skizzlesnap
Documentation has 1 C
Rkfinecake
Bojangles217
This. I had the same issues and was being pressured to leave except I was undiagnosed. I got a diagnosis and told HR and the conversation..
Bojangles217
Went from "You're gonna be fired" to "What can we do to help?". Since ADHD is a disability in the UK, companies shit themselves when you..
Bojangles217
..inform them about it and provide evidence for the diagnosis so they don't get sued for discrimination.
molittr11
molittr11
As a fellow Distractable, let your boss know. I forget my pill every once in a while and brain fog hits hard. Keep striving!
AssistantRegional
ADHD is considered a disability in the Netherlands and you can actually receive government assistance for it.
murpmurple
I was diagnosed about a year into my PhD while in the Netherlands. I cried when I found out because it was so freeing to know it wasn't 1/2
murpmurple
This hard for everyone, and that that's why everything seems so much easier for everyone else.
riplikash
I was in my 3rd year of my degree and had the same reaction. It's really life changing to know the WHY.
asm80dfa8sdfj
Nothing else has convinced me until now, but I guess I'm becoming Dutch
ceceoh
It’s difficult for adults to get a diagnosis for ADHD in the US. Tried to discuss this with my doc and she called It “disease of the week.”
Skawomplious
Your doc sucks. Can you look for another?
ceceoh
I know. Another doctor said: “Why do you want to do this now?” I was 40 then. Now 60. Still ADHD.
lylandra
Also, "pregnant brain" is a real thing and you shouldn't feel bad about it
smolbep
Oh god, I went somewhere COMPLETELY different with that phrase. BRB, going for the brain bleach.
MurderSheCroaked
Pregnant brain is so real and so unforgiving. It can get really frustrating
itsallaboutthecones
Wife is on her second pregnancy. She is still smart as a tack but it definitely takes it's toll.
itsallaboutthecones
I am ADHD and have similar feelings to what you describe, even on medication. I am so sorry your going through it. Hope you can work it out.
magicgirl
I was smart as a tack in the moment but my retention from moment to moment was shot
WhyArentYouAtYourPost
My wife had 4 and yes, can confirm, it’s surely a thing. Also it’s “sharp as a tack” for future references. ;)
morgulking75
Could be a malaphor
morgulking75
Sharp as a whip
itsallaboutthecones
Mine is on her second and third kid (double whammy) and you knew what the hell I meant.
itsppearsyoucanindeed
I dunno, comparing to myself, those tacks looking mighty big thinkin’
sundaymondayhippyday
He must be pregnant
EekumBokumEekumBokum
Thats a thing too emotionally
PepperoniAndFingernailPizza
If your company is aware that you have ADHD then you can request assistance in making things more adhd friendly. 1/
SpectrumSmith
Absolutely second this! I am on the autism spectrum and my workplace is really amazing with the allowances they make for me!
PepperoniAndFingernailPizza
An example is asking for things to be written down explicitly so you know what you need to do.
QuiteAQuietDomino
Son has severe ADHD. When meds aren’t working we do one task at a time, with follow up. It’s hard & frustrating, I’m sure. Hugs, mama!
SociallyAwkwardCanadianMoose
There are things that only get done if I have someone to do it with. Even someone on the phone while I fill out paper helps
makesyougohm
Yes!
QuiteAQuietDomino
I have sat & worked quadratic equations next to him so he had someone to race/another student/could stay on track. I think 1/2
scrumdungus
As someone else with ADHD, there's a mild amount of paranoia and overthinking that comes with it. Talk to coworkers/boss.
Kazoodles0
I'll try. My bosses understand but I'm afraid my coworkers will see it as an excuse or get out of jail free card
Hemelsblauw
This
Valkor
"mild" i wish. fucking RSD :\
Kazoodles0
What is rsd?
Valkor
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria. it's when you feel like shit because you convince yourself nobody likes you (more or less; research!)
Kazoodles0
Will do. Fuck that sounds like me already, God damn
tdawgcatfish
Rsd is a killer. It makes me break down in the bathroom at least once every other month. Mostly on my period.
Valkor
it's the worst part of it all for me. *hug*
pyroshen
This is the first time I've heard of RSD. Is it particularly prevalent in women? My female friend may struggle with this
Valkor
no, adhd is particularly under diagnosed in women, though, and if ur adhd ur also VERY LIKELY to have rsd.
justhereforthemimes
No, it's particularly relevant for ADHD people, which is particularly underdiagnosed in women though
pyroshen
Yeah she was recently diagnosed with ADHD and the symptoms of RSD also sound relevant to her.
tdawgcatfish
Im not sure. Ive experienced it all my life. I only recently learned what it was