I work in IT; I have 25 incidents, 17 standard changes, 14 non-standard changes and about 6 or 8 new scripts to my name and this is my 1st month at this job, but sure’ I’ll check why your Teams icon is missing -_-
I don't work in IT, but before you click on that ad for HOT MILFS, they aren't in your area. And you just downloaded enough malware to take down NASA. Same with HOT TEENS or whatever, and if they are "in your area," they're already dating your dad.
I work in IT. No we don’t have the same access you do to the only application you use. We have less access than you but to more applications and we can log a more useful ticket to the team that supports your application than you could. Also a screenshot does not count if it’s an out of focus photo of your screen from your mobile phone
The servers with the big "never turn these off" label? No, Ken. I did not. So, could you come on down and fix this or should I ignore these signs and turn this whole room off real quick? Hello? Ken? Hello?
I worked in IT, for a relatively large company. Previous IT people were jerks. I was kind, and nice, even of the problem was dumb, and they in return, filled their tickets with all the usual troubleshooting explained.
"I turned it on and off, and checked the cables"
Maybe I was lucky, maybe sometimes people need a but more patience. If you are nice, it usually pays off.
I love how the justification for coming back to work in an actual building is to be more social, yet they don’t want you to be social because that takes away from doing your tasks. Make it make sense.
I don't work in IT, but I do know that you should find out what your greybeard likes to drink and get them some of it. All your problems will be attacked with ferocity after that.
One of the earliest of these I saw (probably over a fax machine) had the IT guy asking the customer to check if the computer was plugged in and the customer replied "Let me get a flashlight." When the IT guy asked why, the customer said the power was out.
Coworker had something similar, but it was a customer complaining about their VoIP call not going through to Jamaica... which was experiencing a category 5 hurricane at the time. There's absolutely no way to verify infrastructure at that point, let alone if there was someone at the other end to actually answer.
Have had this happen while helping a telecom customer with their internet. Same thing...and he was pissed off at me because his service was out. So glad I left that job.
I did too, but the one about not having time to troubleshoot is real. At my previous company, they would book time on our calendar to do it. At my current one they randomly call you, and then if you're busy they ask when you're free, but then when you tell them and that time comes up, they're no longer available. And then they randomly call you again. I'm in meetings basically all day. I can't just leave one whenever the IT person is ready. Now I don't even want to open a ticket because /1
I don't want to go through the rigamarole. Oh and they'll close your ticket if they don't speak to you within two days and you have to open a new one. It's just a horrible system. /2
A common occurrence: "Yes, I turned it off and then on again." "Did you click the 'shutdown' menu item?" "No, I just pressed the power button." Well, abnormal shutdowns could really badly corrupt the registry, back before Windows 8.
To be fair, since Windows 8 introduced "fast startup," shutting down your PC doesn't actually restart the uptime clock, since it goes into a mini-hibernation instead. So if they're not explicitly rebooting, they could "turn off" by shutting down, and turning back on, and it'll still show weeks of uptime. https://www.reddit.com/r/sysadmin/comments/ysty8/windows_8_shut_down_is_a_lie/ https://s">a_lie/">https://www.reddit.com/r/sysadmin/comments/ysty8/windows_8_shut_down_is_a_lie/ https://support.lenovo.com/us/en/solutions/ht501793-how-to-turn-on-or-off-fast-startup-in-windows-1081
I work in IT. Saying "It doesn't work" without explaining what "it" is or what "doesn't work" means is about as helpful as an ejector seat on a helicopter.
Worked in customer support, customer got annoyed when asked questions - such as the nature of the problem - refused to "answer stupid questions" and told us to just fix the problem, which they had yet to tell us what was.
One of my friends worked for Apple support back in the day, and got a call complaining that the "coffee holder" had snapped off...
You know, the one where you push the little button and the "coffee holder" tray slides out?
Also, when I worked for a large company, we kept a document filled with the stupidest or funniest things that people sent in (e-mail, letters etc...) that got anonymized and circulated near the holidays when the customer facing aspect of the job was the worst.
Everybody that works with customers talks about the customers after they're gone if it's anything interesting at all. I.T., food service, lawyers, dentists, police, artists.
Be nice and do your best and try not to waste anyone's time
I work in IT, do you know how many times people want their password.doc file restored where they keep all of their passwords in what is basically clear text?
I'm not in IT, but I seem to understand their basic language and do my best to not bother them by trying my absolute best at solving an issue. Many times things are solved by fucking around and searching inside various settings. They are a tired species and require rest.
It blows my mind when my boss' boss comes to me with a problem and it could have been solved with even the slightest hint of curiosity or memory. Did you think critically about why this could happen? No? Did you check the notes? The notes I specifically left so when this problem happened, you'd know exactly what was going on? The notes literally one scroll wheel turn away, on the same page? No, of course not. Dumbfuck.
"Many times things are solved by fucking around and searching inside various settings. " Congrats, you cracked a major secret of being an IT professional. The other one is to search Google using the correct search terms.
Most of what we do when troubleshooting is literally just flipping through the settings to find the one that does what you want. Cant find it? We google it. Most of what sets IT apart from the rest is just critical thinking and problem solving skills.
When I sat in on interviews for IT staff, my questions were focused on their troubleshooting skills over their knowledge. People can learn new software and systems pretty fast. It can take a long time to improve someone's troubleshooting skills, if it's even possible.
I feel times are changing since MS believes to know better than their users/admins. As of today it happened to all 10 of me and my colleagues that windows simply rebooted out of the blue to install non critical updates. Not to anyone at the same time but about half where shutdown in the middle of a meeting. Of course there was no warning beforehand.
You can set in the Windows Update the scheduled times when it's OK to process updates (such as only after 9pm). Also, if you have a pending update, Windows 11 will notify you of it and then prompt for you to select "OK", "Cancel," or "Schedule."
Late Tuesday nights into Wednesday morning is when Microsoft pushes their weekly updates and patches. Some of them are more forceful, and will reboot and lose all your open browser tabs or research documents you had open the day before. Wednesdays are usually the highest traffic time for my IT business. The worst is lately people get tired of the spinny circle after reboot, so they just unplug the PC to restart it again and REALLY mess things up. Yup, chkdsk is going to take 3 hours now, idiot.
IM in IT and that sounds nice, cause we are mandated to be on site 8-5 with an lunch Mon-Friday, and work weekends for Server updates. That is not the IT directors call, that is mandated by the HR director as he is the one that truly runs our department not knowing why is it when he brings his laptop into the office it will not print on his home printer. I wish I was joking.
My team and I would always place bets on how many people would call in saying their computer “unexpectedly” started the update/patch. Even after our numerous number of reminders.
and then everyone sets the primary works hours to match their working hours and never turns them on outside that. you get 1-2 weeks to install the update at a time that's convenient for you. then it installs at a time that's convenient for us
If you pay me overtime to work from 5 PM to 10 PM to stay on hand incase of hiccups and issues, fine. If you don't care that a minor bug that could have been found and tested out before the entire system comes online and locks everyone out of their emails that I now have to troubleshoot system by system, I can let it go out come in in the morning if you don't want to pay me overtime. OR, you can let me push it out during work hours, let EVERYONE KNOW WHEN so they can plan schedule around it, 1/?
Window's updates can be scheduled by the end user, they just have to do something other than 'do this later' as that has a finite time limit where eventually it will force the update. if they just click the box 'select a time' and set it for 8 hours from now, then it WILL happen overnight no problems, again most of the issues IT faces is that the end user isn't STUPID... They're LAZY.
Pro-tip that is unfortunately very relevant today:
Make good friends with any IT people at companies you work for.
1) priority treatment
2) they're the 1st non-managers to know when serious stuff is going down, especially things like layoffs because they usually have to alter the systems to restrict permissions and recover equipment. Not to mention the info access they have simply because the people at the top are so often tech illiterate
Unfortunatly our frontline IT people at my job suck and I really wish they would just give me a password so I could fix things quickly (took them 4 months just to get write access to a new employee in a shared drive on windows)
Bet you they were waiting on approval from upper management. There absolutly are lazy IT people, like any job, but most long term delays like that are cus approval is required and just not being given.
going with that not being the case because the person kept closing the IT ticket and calling it fixed, we finally went above their head and it was fixed within like 30 seconds
When I was deployed i somehow became a generals driver and the resident it guy of my department, neither was related to my MOS (job and training). The military has a separate internet for classified info and this one lieutenant colonel, every time he called me the solution to his problem was switch the little switch that connected his monitor from the regular computer to the SIPRNet computer. Nice guy, otherwise very competent and capable, but that switch always eluded him.
Haha, yeah. My guy was good at his job and once I flipped that switch he was good to go. I guess the best leaders just know how to assemble an effective team
AmericasNextTopFondler
Yeah, ever since “the update” I can’t remember my password
ballsoutflyer
Shadowfly
I work in IT; I have 25 incidents, 17 standard changes, 14 non-standard changes and about 6 or 8 new scripts to my name and this is my 1st month at this job, but sure’ I’ll check why your Teams icon is missing -_-
elusiveenchilada
I work in IT. No, I haven't been watching over your shoulder all morning, so you'll need to explain what's happening if you'd like me to help.
sauvrel
"Nothing! Nothing's happening!"
NightOwlRally
"I don't know what you did last time, but it isn't working right anymore!"
* the previous task was turning off Airplane Mode so they could connect to wifi *
jumpbus360
I don't work in IT, but before you click on that ad for HOT MILFS, they aren't in your area. And you just downloaded enough malware to take down NASA. Same with HOT TEENS or whatever, and if they are "in your area," they're already dating your dad.
dangerspouse
I used to work in IT. I am the tech support line for my entire family.
TheMeatIncident
I dont work in IT but I have common sense, I am a brother/sister in IT's friend.
IAmTheBadW01f
I'm a millennial in the workplace, which means I'm at least part time IT for older coworkers
Rodville
I send them a list of steps done to fix problems with screenshots. I'm not wasting their time or mine.
profiepicisunrelated
I work in IT. No we don’t have the same access you do to the only application you use. We have less access than you but to more applications and we can log a more useful ticket to the team that supports your application than you could.
Also a screenshot does not count if it’s an out of focus photo of your screen from your mobile phone
Necrothean
"Did you turn it off and on again?"
The servers with the big "never turn these off" label? No, Ken. I did not. So, could you come on down and fix this or should I ignore these signs and turn this whole room off real quick? Hello? Ken? Hello?
trencapins
I worked in IT, for a relatively large company. Previous IT people were jerks. I was kind, and nice, even of the problem was dumb, and they in return, filled their tickets with all the usual troubleshooting explained.
"I turned it on and off, and checked the cables"
Maybe I was lucky, maybe sometimes people need a but more patience. If you are nice, it usually pays off.
JiffyGee
I love how the justification for coming back to work in an actual building is to be more social, yet they don’t want you to be social because that takes away from doing your tasks. Make it make sense.
ChristopherHallett
I don't work in IT, but I do know that you should find out what your greybeard likes to drink and get them some of it. All your problems will be attacked with ferocity after that.
oldguyexlurker
One of the earliest of these I saw (probably over a fax machine) had the IT guy asking the customer to check if the computer was plugged in and the customer replied "Let me get a flashlight." When the IT guy asked why, the customer said the power was out.
bitemark
Coworker had something similar, but it was a customer complaining about their VoIP call not going through to Jamaica... which was experiencing a category 5 hurricane at the time. There's absolutely no way to verify infrastructure at that point, let alone if there was someone at the other end to actually answer.
5Mac0
Have had this happen while helping a telecom customer with their internet. Same thing...and he was pissed off at me because his service was out. So glad I left that job.
Insmnyk
I used to work in IT. These are all incredibly accurate.
Rockafella83
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
I did too, but the one about not having time to troubleshoot is real. At my previous company, they would book time on our calendar to do it. At my current one they randomly call you, and then if you're busy they ask when you're free, but then when you tell them and that time comes up, they're no longer available. And then they randomly call you again. I'm in meetings basically all day. I can't just leave one whenever the IT person is ready. Now I don't even want to open a ticket because /1
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
I don't want to go through the rigamarole. Oh and they'll close your ticket if they don't speak to you within two days and you have to open a new one. It's just a horrible system. /2
cytherians
A common occurrence: "Yes, I turned it off and then on again." "Did you click the 'shutdown' menu item?" "No, I just pressed the power button." Well, abnormal shutdowns could really badly corrupt the registry, back before Windows 8.
echonite
Nothing incredible about it.
Imustupvotealltacos
"Did you turn it off and on again?" "Yes damn it! I did it twice! Don't talk down to me!". "Hmm system log shows it hasn't been turned off in 2 weeks"
marsilies
To be fair, since Windows 8 introduced "fast startup," shutting down your PC doesn't actually restart the uptime clock, since it goes into a mini-hibernation instead. So if they're not explicitly rebooting, they could "turn off" by shutting down, and turning back on, and it'll still show weeks of uptime. https://www.reddit.com/r/sysadmin/comments/ysty8/windows_8_shut_down_is_a_lie/ https://s">a_lie/">https://www.reddit.com/r/sysadmin/comments/ysty8/windows_8_shut_down_is_a_lie/ https://support.lenovo.com/us/en/solutions/ht501793-how-to-turn-on-or-off-fast-startup-in-windows-1081
tcpolecat7
Shit, I just did phone tech support for a short time, and those were all totally accurate for that too.
CommodusLeitdorf
Especially the monitor thing...omg so many times
Asatani
I work in IT. Saying "It doesn't work" without explaining what "it" is or what "doesn't work" means is about as helpful as an ejector seat on a helicopter.
PapaTimDankopus
I don't work in IT, Unfortunately if I have to call you there's a catastrophic problem
Trelis
Worked in customer support, customer got annoyed when asked questions - such as the nature of the problem - refused to "answer stupid questions" and told us to just fix the problem, which they had yet to tell us what was.
Knifesmith
One of my friends worked for Apple support back in the day, and got a call complaining that the "coffee holder" had snapped off...
You know, the one where you push the little button and the "coffee holder" tray slides out?
Also, when I worked for a large company, we kept a document filled with the stupidest or funniest things that people sent in (e-mail, letters etc...) that got anonymized and circulated near the holidays when the customer facing aspect of the job was the worst.
azazyel
Oldy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LLTsSnGWMI
zafner
Everybody that works with customers talks about the customers after they're gone if it's anything interesting at all. I.T., food service, lawyers, dentists, police, artists.
Be nice and do your best and try not to waste anyone's time
Yakeshinu
Billis75
I work in IT, do you know how many times people want their password.doc file restored where they keep all of their passwords in what is basically clear text?
mrssugar
FishieStardust
I'm not in IT, but I seem to understand their basic language and do my best to not bother them by trying my absolute best at solving an issue. Many times things are solved by fucking around and searching inside various settings. They are a tired species and require rest.
GeneralWho
It blows my mind when my boss' boss comes to me with a problem and it could have been solved with even the slightest hint of curiosity or memory. Did you think critically about why this could happen? No? Did you check the notes? The notes I specifically left so when this problem happened, you'd know exactly what was going on? The notes literally one scroll wheel turn away, on the same page? No, of course not. Dumbfuck.
marsilies
"Many times things are solved by fucking around and searching inside various settings. " Congrats, you cracked a major secret of being an IT professional. The other one is to search Google using the correct search terms.
echonite
Most of what we do when troubleshooting is literally just flipping through the settings to find the one that does what you want. Cant find it? We google it. Most of what sets IT apart from the rest is just critical thinking and problem solving skills.
FishieStardust
So what you're saying is that I'm something of an IT person myself?
marsilies
When I sat in on interviews for IT staff, my questions were focused on their troubleshooting skills over their knowledge. People can learn new software and systems pretty fast. It can take a long time to improve someone's troubleshooting skills, if it's even possible.
Infinias
I feel times are changing since MS believes to know better than their users/admins. As of today it happened to all 10 of me and my colleagues that windows simply rebooted out of the blue to install non critical updates. Not to anyone at the same time but about half where shutdown in the middle of a meeting. Of course there was no warning beforehand.
3nd3rwiggin
Have had to snooze a reboot prompt twice today. Hopefully I can push it out until my lunch break.
cytherians
You can set in the Windows Update the scheduled times when it's OK to process updates (such as only after 9pm). Also, if you have a pending update, Windows 11 will notify you of it and then prompt for you to select "OK", "Cancel," or "Schedule."
NordicusMaximus
Late Tuesday nights into Wednesday morning is when Microsoft pushes their weekly updates and patches. Some of them are more forceful, and will reboot and lose all your open browser tabs or research documents you had open the day before. Wednesdays are usually the highest traffic time for my IT business. The worst is lately people get tired of the spinny circle after reboot, so they just unplug the PC to restart it again and REALLY mess things up. Yup, chkdsk is going to take 3 hours now, idiot.
3nd3rwiggin
I also work in IT. Thankfully we are very much appreciated here. Work onsite on Sundays and work from home Mon - Wed.
frustratedITguy
IM in IT and that sounds nice, cause we are mandated to be on site 8-5 with an lunch Mon-Friday, and work weekends for Server updates. That is not the IT directors call, that is mandated by the HR director as he is the one that truly runs our department not knowing why is it when he brings his laptop into the office it will not print on his home printer. I wish I was joking.
ForgotMyUsernameYetAgain
You know how we sent an email about that system update coming this week?
Remember that countdown on the screen about a system update?
Why your computer turned off in a meeting is the greatest mystery of our time.
WorkerLurker
We initiated a can’t skip after so many skips policy on our RMS that it forces an update. Especially if it’s critical 9.8 or above threat level.
SLCtechie
My team and I would always place bets on how many people would call in saying their computer “unexpectedly” started the update/patch. Even after our numerous number of reminders.
IHateYouMyselfAndEveryone
I wonder how numbersome that numerous number was numbered at.
lemonofdoom2
Are you me?
KillingTlme
In their defense, maintenance hours exists for a reason and no update should ever take place during primary work hours.
FreelancerAlphaOneOne
It wasn't primary work hours either.
LunaticLemming
and then everyone sets the primary works hours to match their working hours and never turns them on outside that. you get 1-2 weeks to install the update at a time that's convenient for you. then it installs at a time that's convenient for us
ElChupaNuggra
If you pay me overtime to work from 5 PM to 10 PM to stay on hand incase of hiccups and issues, fine. If you don't care that a minor bug that could have been found and tested out before the entire system comes online and locks everyone out of their emails that I now have to troubleshoot system by system, I can let it go out come in in the morning if you don't want to pay me overtime. OR, you can let me push it out during work hours, let EVERYONE KNOW WHEN so they can plan schedule around it, 1/?
ElChupaNuggra
ignore all warnings, get pissy about it AGAIN and complain why this wasn't done during 'maintenance hours'. :P 2/2
michealangleo
i mean... i think hes probably meaning when someones mac or windows updates the os. that can be done over night
ElChupaNuggra
Window's updates can be scheduled by the end user, they just have to do something other than 'do this later' as that has a finite time limit where eventually it will force the update. if they just click the box 'select a time' and set it for 8 hours from now, then it WILL happen overnight no problems, again most of the issues IT faces is that the end user isn't STUPID... They're LAZY.
thishousesmellslikefish
I work in SaaS- it doesn’t come with a crystal ball. Please provide more information.
Billis75
We are moving a lot of appliations to SaaS and all of our management thinks it will free up their time and require no administration on our part.
thishousesmellslikefish
A little maybe. Until the first release following implementation.
pipatron
Seance as a Service?
HollerinAtTheVoid
Pro-tip that is unfortunately very relevant today:
Make good friends with any IT people at companies you work for.
1) priority treatment
2) they're the 1st non-managers to know when serious stuff is going down, especially things like layoffs because they usually have to alter the systems to restrict permissions and recover equipment. Not to mention the info access they have simply because the people at the top are so often tech illiterate
M34665
Unfortunatly our frontline IT people at my job suck and I really wish they would just give me a password so I could fix things quickly (took them 4 months just to get write access to a new employee in a shared drive on windows)
HollerinAtTheVoid
Lol, I was just thinking i might have needed to be more specific. Front-line is good, but an IT manager is usually best.
echonite
Bet you they were waiting on approval from upper management. There absolutly are lazy IT people, like any job, but most long term delays like that are cus approval is required and just not being given.
M34665
going with that not being the case because the person kept closing the IT ticket and calling it fixed, we finally went above their head and it was fixed within like 30 seconds
ahorseelbowdeepinme
When I was deployed i somehow became a generals driver and the resident it guy of my department, neither was related to my MOS (job and training).
The military has a separate internet for classified info and this one lieutenant colonel, every time he called me the solution to his problem was switch the little switch that connected his monitor from the regular computer to the SIPRNet computer. Nice guy, otherwise very competent and capable, but that switch always eluded him.
3nd3rwiggin
I could have wrote this same thing word for word. Ended up being the IT guy for the Joint Chief of Staff at the Pentagon for three months.
3nd3rwiggin
He got promoted from the Unit we were both a part of and said "I barely know anything about computers, help me!"
ahorseelbowdeepinme
Haha, yeah. My guy was good at his job and once I flipped that switch he was good to go. I guess the best leaders just know how to assemble an effective team
3nd3rwiggin
Had a Colonel call in for a password reset. Explained I could not provide it over an unsecure line. He argued, I could see he was on a STU +
3nd3rwiggin
Phone and only needed to flip the firefly key to go secure. Refused to do it. Asked if I knew who he was. I said Yes, of course, did he +