PreciousYoutlys
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Jun 28, 2025 12:31 AM
PreciousYoutlys
42823
1148
12
MaleProstateMilker88
Go outside when it is dark (use reflectors) and listen to some horror movie ambient sounds and pretend that you're being watched, followed, stalked until you can't take it and you start running to get away from whatever is coming after you, and by the time you get home you've done a good amount of exercise. Rinse and repeat.
Divinyll
i want to get back to running, but im having surgery soon so start now wouldn’t really do me much. after though, totally.......
DistractedBoyfriendIsAmerica
How do I make sure people know I'm not running FROM something?
BaloneyBob
frankwalkerfromnationaltiiiiiiiiiiles
You need Strava or something similar. Everyone knows if can't share it on social media it never happened
Workwithnaturenotagainstit
Having a dog to run with has helped me do it more consistently. Frequently I don't feel up for it myself but compelled to get out on the trail for the dog's sake. I realize not everyone can have a dog though. Has anyone tried running with a cat?
firehawkcultist
If you've never run before, start by shooting for 10 mins of running but it's okay if you have to take breathers. Work to be able to run for 10 mins straight, then you up it slowly till eventually you can run for 30 mins. Fun fact, the popular rule for running is "run slow to get faster" as in, most of your weekly running should be in "easy" or zone 2 or a pace you can keep up a conversation at. But then like a quarter should be really fast with like speed intervals.
ifyoutakemeseriouslythatsonyou
C25K Seriously. Google it. It works.
NeverShaveYourDuck
Penny has a good jogging regimen.
https://youtu.be/pMZ627polnM?si=Mr0QP4c6nRcYLePe&t=87
twelvoclocklevel
ChiLLeCheeze
The only time I run is to exercise my dog. Not really a fan of it to be honest. He seems to enjoy it. C'est la vie.
KiwiGameDev
Find your route ahead of time, then you… go!
DistractedBoyfriendIsAmerica
I'll start running as soon as I've finished the perfect running play list. I'm 7 years into its creation, it's NEARLY there.
FractalB
It gets easier. But you have to do it every day. That's the hard part.
koyote2033
You're gonna let other people, especially on the internet, control you like that? Stop being a little bitch and go run and be healthy and do what's right for you.
testzero
I was about to take your advice, but then I realized you're someone from the internet, so...
Mikeiller
People are going to give you all sorts of advise. Wear this. Do that. Run this far for this long. I'm going to give you something simpler. Run. Doesn't matter how far. Doesn't matter how long. Running 50 feet is better than running no feet at all.
TheInfamousPenguin
Get shoes that are good for running on concrete is my advice, my running got alot better when I got shoes that make me like... 5 cm taller xD
Padding is important.
Then run alittle, walk alittle, run alittle, walk alittle until it's run alot, walk alittle, run alot, walk alittle
joonyoungie
Pick a reasonable distance, jog the whole thing without stopping to walk even if your jog has become noticeably slower than your walking speed. Just keep the jogging motion going while focusing on your breathing. Go a little bit faster every day you go running. If you can run at a high pace the entire length without getting tired it's time to increase the distance. Once you get the hang of it join a public running group, it's safer to run in numbers and you can look embarrassing together.
Shmoaker
Set a pace.
Pick it up.
Faster!
supervillin
lospaturno
that's literally the worst way to start running
Thekindofkindlyman
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTY1YjkxZmJlaWJ5eGltbXdwMjF0bDVzazJ0cjcwNjdnc20weXQycGk2MXI3b3I5YyZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/fSAPjQtwbj0zK/giphy.mp4
cullingg
I would think to pick something faster than a walk if it's your first time runnning, and that's it - pick a good marker for your progress that you can change over time. I have used streetlights as a good marker, a litle running and a little futher each day - once you're in a routine you can mix it up
astrangehop
I literally didn't learn the first part in grade School. I'd sprint till I was tired and walk the next 13 minutes for the mile.
J3lek
Now I'm tired and far from home.
Shmoaker
How long did that take?
Cut that time in half
and next time,
turn around.
Bigblunt83
I'd say about 55% of that because you always want to push yourself a bit
Badprenup
Can always run a littler faster instead of running further, as an alternative
chefgwynne
Walk first. Jog down the hills slower than you think you should. Walk more. After a while start jogging wherever you were walking and pick up the pace down the hills. Your body will tell you if you’re going too fast. Don’t be afraid to slow down. After about a month or so (depending on your level of fitness) you’ll probably be able to go 2 miles without stopping to walk. Then just start adding distance. I started with 2 miles and ended up running a half marathon without stopping.
zagibu
Don't jog downhill, walk downhill, jog uphill. Unless you're young of course, then you can do whatever you want.
lospaturno
this is the best tip, from someone who did it
icurays1
Krashtestdummy
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1eW9pNTYxc2tmZjA5aWQwNjZhenl6YmgycDFkZDI1bTlhcnMwbjJ2bSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/CUbiYQbsKSGAM/200w.webp
WellThatsOriginal
The original
MageMana
tizme
It’s meeee!
icurays1
I just felt like ruNNing
reinharder
Ideally you splatter some blood on some old tattered clothes and while running frantically look back once in a while and scream then sprint for a bit. At least that's how I learned to do it
lospaturno
c25k <- best option
PballQhead
Protip, get a free "Couch to 5K" app.
They have a much better routine to start from sedentary than anything you're going to find in an Internet comments section. No disrespect, of course.
ifyoutakemeseriouslythatsonyou
100% this!
TheDisembodiedFloatingHeadOfEdwardGRobinson
Scrolled down to say this, and also don't be afraid to repeat weeks if you aren't ready to advance yet; plateaus happen and are natural, and you WILL get there eventually. I am hot garbage at running and I did it.
lospaturno
even better tip: get a used Garmin Forerunner, a cheap one, stick to the training program of their app.
PballQhead
A used Forerunner isn't exactly "cheap". I sold my 935, four models old now, for $100. Sure, it's an 80% discount, but it's a far cry from free.
If you find the free app works and you like the running, by all means get the used watch, but I would never recommend it for a start-from-nothing.
lospaturno
I bought a new 245 for 140€, I assumed that you can find a used one for 50... anyway, I started from nothing with Forerunner's app, and it went well. 5k in 3 months, 10k in 8, enough training variety to keep it interesting, and that right about of subtle passive aggressive guilt that pushes you to go out under the rain.
PballQhead
I mean, it's great hardware and a good app (well, except for that new paid tier garbage but I digress), but it's still a pretty hefty investment for someone who's not sure if they're gonna stick with it. I'd say spend the money on shoes, get to 5k, and then make the decision on a dedicated running watch.
lospaturno
yeah, probably a better advice. For that money you get a good pair of Hoka or NB1080.
LollipopKid
Honestly as a runner it is a bit embarrassing especially when you starting off.
ViolentlyJaded
You stretch a little so people know you're locked in. Plan your route so you can hide behind a bush every 3 minutes or so to pant for air. Reward yourself after with a whole package of Oreos. Repeat six months later. FITNESS!
VodkaReindeer
You only have to do it every six months? That doesn't sound so bad!
hiyo365
You are doing it too frequently..
JoshuaFalken
FIT'N'ESS WHOLE PACKAGE OF OREOS IN MY MOUTH
speakharp
A whole package of Oreos?!?
ViolentlyJaded
I didn't realize you were a quitter
speakharp
I am now filled with shame.
Orionsdick
Its like I did that push up last year for nothing
ClessAurion
Isn't running bad for your knees though...? Better to just walk and eat healthier tbh.
omgBBQwtf
Three minutes!? What do you think I am, an Olympic marathon runner!?
Mmbear
Realize how many miles you have to run to burn off one of those oreos. Immediately get demoralized. Quit running 1 week later, after the initial soreness makes you sit out a couple days. You repeat this same cycle 4 months later.
Snooj
You stretch after, not before. Before you warm up by walking or very light jogging.
ebonyfaery
Stretching is literally part of the recommended warm up for running. Lol
Snooj
Long time runner here, including at most a 50k race. Have never once stretched before a run. I start out with a 5 minute walk, then it's off to the races. Afterwards, so much stretching. The runner community is pretty divided over it. Some say stretching first is more likely to cause injury. Some say to do a warm-up first and then stretch. Maybe it doesn't matter at all. I'm only one data point, after all.
Snooj
Just got back from DDR where I stretch before, during, and after so it's not like I'm an anti-stretch guy.
14NipplesAndSomeGin
Why not stretch before, or is this just a matter of preference?
Steps1000
Applying strain to cold muscles can lead to damage. Instead start the exercise at low intensity and ramp up once 'warmed up'. Stretching afterwards can help avoid cramps and is itself a low intensity way to go from high activity to low without just suddenly stopping. While in 99% of cases it won't really matter, an enthusiastic amateur can easily damage themselves stretching cold muscles due to over extension while warm muscles are a bit more tolerant and so its safer then.
14NipplesAndSomeGin
That sounds completely reasonable. Thanks for the explanation.
MyRespectableAlterEgo
As someone who's trying to get back into running, this was really helpful - any other tips?
halfbakedsnail
The faster you complete your run, the sooner you no longer have to run.
turdalurdbird
Remember your tendons take longer to respond to the pounding than your muscles take to respond to excercise. The muscles gain the ability1/2
Snooj
In addition to the other response, it's important to note that running is not an exercise that challenges your joints and muscles in all kinds of directions like dancing, wrestling, and sports like football or rugby. Your feet and legs are doing exactly one motion cycle over and over and over and over again. You don't need to be overly flexible or limber for it, so some say stretching and being all loose makes that activity worse. In 20 years I've never stretched first, only warm-up walks.
14NipplesAndSomeGin
That makes sense too. Back when I could run (got a knee replacement) I did stretch beforehand, but the bulk of my warmup was walking and light jogging to the lake I did my run around. I never had problems with the stretching, but I can see how it's bad advice for someone just starting out.
Snooj
I'm probably overstepping my bounds by giving advice anyway and as I said in another comment I'm only one single data point. But all the pro-stretch-before people usually say "it's good to stretch before exercise" and the anti-stretch-before people typically give a lot of good sounding reasons and follow up with "definitely stretch after". It's worked well for me. Even now as an older guy I do a 6k every night if I can afford the time.
2graves
Stretch during is good for me
troylanes
It's not that hard. Start slow. After the first bit it gets easier. It's addictive. Great habit. Stay cool and listen to your body.
petpet3d
I have given it serious effort, but I never got it to be remotely addictive. I hate it every time just as much as the first time.
FreePalestineAndTheWorldFromIsrael
Start slower, only do what youre comfortable with. A little is better than none at all.
UniquenessReviewed
You have to get the whole runners outfit with the head band and armstrap for your heart monitor. Then walk to your pre-designated line that you have satellite mapped to measure how far you ran. Then comes intensive stretching for atleast 2 min. This serves a dual purpose of avoiding runners injuries and as a warning dance to all others in the area that you are about to start running and not fleeing a burglar or an explosion.
sacrosanctt
See, I start all my morning runs with an explosion. I feel it's the most efficient way to satisfy everything you've listed.
NeatAnotherOne
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1eGU2aHZrM2N0dzhmcG5jczJwOHYydzR6dmpyMzg5cWFrOGhseWtudyZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/yo6sf7q7jpXDq/200w.webp
Comet260
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVBN7NAIrfg
nurotoxin10000
We had a nudist jogger in my town 16 years ago, back then it was legal, guess why it's no longer.
ZOMGNO
That just doesn't feel good for the tits or the balls, or whatever they had. Damaged tissue.
MrKristy
*Dynamic stretching, static stretching before activity is actually shown to increase rates of injury
DontKnowTheSource
Source?
MrKristy
My exercise physiology class 10 years ago, can see if I can find a source
MrKristy
Here's one:
https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/ask-the-doctor-stretching-before-exercise
koyote2033
Is that why i see bicyclists cosplaying so often? Lord knows none of em actually follow the rules of the road
zombiejedediah
MAMILs with bicycles worth 3 months salary but somehow fastening a little bell to it is impossible?
They're the scum of cosplaying.
suretoast
What’s a MAMIL
zombiejedediah
Middle Aged Man In Lycra
MattoJanai
Dude the old man cyclist dressed like he's about to be in the tour de France always makes me laugh. You're not in a race you're exercising. You want the resistance. Proud of you for getting out there but you look like a rich prick with no idea what you're doing. And it's always them that ride in the middle of the road at 10mph. I so rarely see any other type of cyclist being a problem
sjleegketting
Come to the Netherlands, where there are 3 times as many bicycles as humans. I've seen foreigners jump from behind the wheel crying because they can't handle the sheer amount of death defying cyclists here. "Coincidentally" it's a nice country to cycle in as drivers expect you coming from anywhere.
IamWolfduke
Two butt hurt cyclists have down voted you so far :D
koyote2033
Only two??? Imgur a dead site fr.
thatguydom
I'll chime in and just note that I have been almost killed by a person driving a car not following the road rules than cyclists, and it's not even close.
PimpinKen
And I've almost hit two cyclists, potentially killing them, because they ran stop signs and flew blindly through an intersection. Nobody is perfect, but im willing to bet that there are plenty of times that someone got hit riding a bike while doing something stupid and blamed it on the driver. Along with plenty of drivers who are t paying attention when they should be.
zombiejedediah
Drivers are generally blind & deaf. As you would be, locked inside a metal cage with a few small windows and no fresh air to your brain
koyote2033
I understand that and get the difference in risk, but the fact that i can expect a bicyclist to continue through the stop sign to my right without stopping is poor practice. They never stop and wait for their proper turn. The fact is the expectation is that everyone should be obeying the same rules of the road and what you can actually expect bicyclists to do is in opposition to that consistently in some scenarios. My friends and i have been hurt because of this disregard too, one real bad too.
butIlikeitbecauseitisbitterandbecauseitismyheart
This happened just this morning on my way to work. I like that people bicycle. It’s just irritating that they blow through stop signs.
zombiejedediah
For people to get seriously hurt in traffic accidents, motor vehicles have to be involved.
People might moan about inconsiderate bicycles, but they forget they're still here to moan.
ScourgeOfAges
We acknowledge that the vast majority of cyclists are good and respectful, and that cars are far far more wasteful and deadly. But it's just those few cyclists that *aren't* good or respectful that we notice, and that become the stereotype for all "cyclists". It's unfortunate.
KipperFillets
I've always questioned the stats about the number of cyclists killed by cars Vs pedestrians killed by cyclists.
They don't say if it was the cyclist jumping lights, etc.
I cycle a lot and my priority is my own safety, so "being in the right" is very much secondary to "being still alive".
orangearcadi
You. You acknowledge. Singular. You.
VaultGirl69
Or just skip all that and ear a keto diet for the rest of my life because I hate exercise...
ZOMGNO
Yeah but mixing up a fast, a bit of keto, and even LIGHT exercise... thats what supercharges it. I sometimes go on running jags and HIIT phases... but i hate wasting time. I found a few mild exercises i like, and the whole routine takes ONE SONG which i can then repeat if i want... but thats it, daily. And really, you can be perfectly healthy on 7 minutes of exercise, if you're relatively consistent. Just choose your fave moves, and make sure they're a variety.
SideBoobsWillGetYouBanned
Tell me more. My struggle is my belly flopping around and hurting if I run. It's embarrassing 🫣
ZOMGNO
FUCK I HATE THAT. My thighs hurt from the movement of jogging. What has worked for me... is to wear compression-things so that i can't feel it too much. Like the way sports bras are supposed to stop boobs from flying everywhere..... so if your belly is being a pain... tight undershirt of some type, then a very flowing top over it, and you won't FEEL the belly as much, which takes that mental block away, and hopefully pain. Also remember that the more muscle you have, the more your body burns fat
ZOMGNO
So if you're trying to get rid of fat, and not skin, then every exercise helps the previous day. It stacks! Stretch every day. Do one or two basic things every morning/night. Brushing teeth? STRETCH! Drinking water? Touch your toes! (I can't, haha) and remember to enjoy any movement you have, because gratefulness literally helps the mind! Find whatever song makes you ragey or motivated in some way... play that song, and do 3 or 4 things. Your fave things. I hate burpees, so i NEVER DO THEM.
VaultGirl69
I hate exercise because I suffered a severe heart condition most of my life. It's been fixed, but I've never run a mile. I'm also a sedentary nerd. I do have a squat machine thing I used now and then, but i threw out my back yesterday slouching while playing a video game. Getting old is rough. I also don't eat much as it is. I hover around 135lbs, which isn't too bad being short and middle aged. I did have a yoga/pilates video I used to do, but I can't find it. ><
ZOMGNO
If you hate running... then its not for you. In my humble opinion... never do exercise you hate. But if you think you hate everything... maybe you haven't found the thing for you? The bare minimum approach... would be the stretching thing. Yoga/ Pilates/ Tai Chi. Just a handful of dynamic movements that are basically stretches, that you can do every day easily. I do side-lunges while i brush my teeth. I do 3 squats every time i go to the bathroom. I AM LAZY and this is the only thing that works
VaultGirl69
I do have a squat machine. But I threw out my back the other day. I like activities that are fun. Like tennis or swimming. But, I love my dogs and at the local dog park someone shot someone's German Shepard girl. He brought his small dog and small child into the big dog area. And the cops let him go because he's an army reservist. That and Covid, I just don't really leave my house. I do have an old Yoga/Pilates DVD that I like that I should find.
mbrauen
If anybody is genuinely seeking an answer here, yes, kind of. Don’t worry about special shoes or clothes or routines. Whatever you’re wearing, step out of your home and start walking. Walk for 100 steps (literally count your steps). Then run for 100 steps. Then walk for 100, run for 100, etc. Do this for 10 minutes. Then turn around and do the same thing on your way back home. Do this 4 times per week for 6 weeks. Focus on time, not distance or speed. Be consistent. Progress from there.
huffnpuff72
Shoes are important but you don't need super shoes for your first few runs. Start with something fairly comfortable and something that resembles a running shoe. Unless you've only got crocs and work boots or heels you can start in what you've got.
PballQhead
Um, as a 40+ year runner, I'm going to say you should *definitely* worry about your shoes. You don't need $300+ carbon plated PEBA supershoes, but bad shoes are one of the biggest causes of injury. If you just start "running 100 steps" in broken down old trainers or worse yet non-running shoes you're Gonna Have A Bad Time.
Spend a few bucks, more than 50 but less than 100, on a pair of plain old trainers from any reputable brand before anything else. You won't regret it.
MrOlivier
Absolutely. I ruined my feet in the Army. They were at least past the point of making you run in combat boots by the time I enlisted, but I got cheap garbage sneakers and developed plantar fasciitis. Drop a few extra bucks on good sneaks, it'll save you years of pain
etcnotect
Yeah, unless you're planning on running barefoot in the grass, you definitely need some good running shoes. Also if you're running on a slanted surface make sure to switch sides or direction so you don't hurt your knees
Isorikk
https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1ZWU0NmE5NTVpNWx1NmFncmp6ZGEzd25zdmZubzhpcHFtYXBya2ZyeCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/3o6Zt1S65IMxMUimyY/200w.webp
demisebyneedlework
I love this. Anxiety about starting something like running is a big deterrent. What shoes do I need? Is my outfit ok? Are these shorts going to chafe? Right bra for running? It is one thing (but often not helpful) to research all the best techniques, gadgets, apparel & accessories for working out but NONE OF THAT gets you off the couch and actually moving. Best advice ever-shoes don’t matter right now….starting a routine does. Get up, go walk in your pjs and floppy floppies! Start a new routine!
ZOMGNO
Yeah there are two competing fields here. One side saying "get the right gear" and the other saying "just start".
My 2 cents: Just start. See how you feel. Notice your body. Walk, and then run IF you feel up to it. NOW you can get to step 2... and look at your equipment. Do the crazy research thing. The best clothes, are the ones you have now. Second-hand shops can help with fitness clothes. Shoes are important, but you don't need them on day one!? They're your prize for 10 days in a row!
PballQhead
If you don't have basic, competent shoes, not Alphaflys or adizeros but something that's designed for purpose and not worn out, you are *not* going to feel good when you go out running. It's the only essential piece of gear for the sport, but it's totally non-negotiable.
ZOMGNO
The people that this is directed at... are the ones going "I'll never be able to do it". For people who think like that... step one is TRYING IT. Heck, if they walk to the lamppost at the end of the street in crocs and that was a big effort for them... then kudos. People aren't starting at 3km runs.
PballQhead
Walking is different. You can absolutely walk in whatever shoes you have (Crocs are actually excellent for that), even house slippers or flip-flops.
But, and this is actually even more important for this class of people because a poor experience is going to turn them off, running absolutely, unequivocally, beyond question needs shoes. It's the only gear you *must* have for the sport, but you must have it. You can score a perfectly fine pair for $50, not the worst bar for entry.
varesya
Consistency and gradual improvement is key. I've always liked the X minute run, 2 minute walk, repeat three more times, then walk the rest up to 30 minutes. You can start with as little as 30 seconds for your "run" times even, the point is more to do it and increase over time. By the time you're capable of doing 7 or 8 minutes per run iteration (for a total of 28-32 minutes) you probably don't need the walk iterations anymore, and can just run for ~30 minutes or more straight.
Euoric
As a serious runner here - go to a running store. Get some proper shoes. Make sure you do a running analysis to see if you need shoes that help with pronation. Get a heart monitor watch of some variation and go out running -slow-. For as long as you can. Slow enough you don't go past 160hr, if you do - start walking. Increase distance no more than 10% a week, work up to longer distances to go faster. Watch your diet, eat carbs, stretch after and do calf raises and squats. There ya go.
PballQhead
As a fellow Serious Runner, while I do agree with the fitting/analysis thing, you definitely don't need a Garmin to start — a several hundred dollar entry fee is absolutely going to dissuade a lot of people from starting out; if you don't like the running and don't keep up with it you suddenly have a very expensive paperweight (cuz let's be honest, they aren't great smartwatches). Not like most people don't have a general purpose smartwatch, that'll do to start.
Euoric
That said, I saw some of your times and they're really impressive especially for your distance. Good fucking job~
Euoric
There's lots of other watches besides a Garmin that measure HR, some as cheap as $50. THE REASON WHY I suggest getting one is because it prevents new runners from running too hard. I've seen it so many times where people who are starting out, who want to be able to do distance, do not understand that they should limit their heart rate or they're going too hard and they don't have a frame of reference.
PballQhead
HR is…not really the best for limiting exertion levels, especially in novices. I know people who can barely breathe in Zone 2 and others who could deliver a speech while in Zone 4.
That's one case where the old way is the best way - if you can't comfortably chat with your running partner, or talk to yourself if you're solo, you're going too hard.