ThorGoose
48169
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Aug 18, 2025 11:22 PM
ThorGoose
48169
1302
78
hogosha011912
I could have gone my whole life without ever reading #6 Shrek trump love story and been happy damnit. Now everytime I see that orange turd I will think of this. Butt-hole lips
SirWhiskersThe3rd
#21 That’s a fucking lie! Completely outrageous! Bullshit! That fish wouldn’t even have a dot of blue on it!
familiarusername
#6 You really made me read this with my own innocent eyes...
ArcUlfr
#18 A cat 5 of 9 tails. Not for the inexperienced nerdy kinkster.
NZSheeps
#5
tooomanystevesgotbanned
I love how much Sir Terry borrowed from history and mythology.
tocfanke4
#30 Also birthdays in January. Also birthdays you share with siblings. Sure Aunt, me and my brother 3 years apart can share that truck you gave us for both Christmas and Birthday. Boys 3 years apart are known for sharing
prosper020
As someone with a shared birthday 2 years apart, I feel ya. Thankfully we rarely got shared gifts. It really fucked with my view on birthdays though. I always felt ashamed that people knew it was my birthday because “it’s not just my birthday it’s my brother’s birthday too”. sharing a birthday since birth took away that “you’re special” feeling that other kids seemed to get. Having undiagnosed anxiety disorders and chronic depression probably didn’t help either.
tassadar102
#31 as far as the socks thing is concerned, some people actually find that socks make it easier to achieve orgasm.
toomuchtunerfish
Inmate45
#4 Why did I read all of it? Nothing was gained... just discomfort.
zFUBARz
#9 So the thing is, this is only made worse by being accepting of it when society keeps pushing that way. While providing and caring for is totally a valid part of a relationship (both healthy and not healthy) It should go both ways, and if it's the only thing the relationship is based on, then get the fuck out of there. Goes for all sorts of relationships too. Sure, maybe somebody calls you a pussy, but that just means you're warm, inviting and desirable to many people.
anonymouschameleon8
#20 fun fact: the mermaid actually originally had two tails. It wasn't meant to be sexual, but prudes got offended, so the logo was zoomed in so it's not obvious it's her two tails on either side.
ImtheEyeintheSky
#31 socks are absolutely optional, wear what u want when u have sex. Before fingering someone though, definitely cut and file your nails. Cleaning your nails is also very important. Using a nail scrubber to scrub under and around the nail gets rid of bacteria and fungus that is better off Not going inside you.
Zootsoot
#15 I was TRAINED in real, actual grad classes to coordinate a Pandemic reaponse. And all through the Pandemic, I kept muttering, “If I submitted this as a script to Asylum films, THEY would send it back with notes to “tone it down- this is too extreme even for us!”.
thotterpop
#49 I'm pretty sure that one is made up
CalculatorFunTime58008
It's still pretty funny
wylkyn
Snopes agrees.
TheCrimsonRaven
#20
Badgerhoundguy
#22 honey, nut, cheerio!
NZSheeps
MylundTheMad
#31 you had me until number 16. My Significant Other has no problem with it, and the rest of you can have my socks when you pry them from my cold, dead feet! Giving a shit about what people think about what I do in the bedroom is for vanilla people.
allthetimewasted
#31 let the girls leave their socks on trust me.
Bubbells
#1 my memory may be fuzzy but my brain doesn't remember them being that big
s3ptum
I like to increase the size of my subtitties...um...titles for easier viewing
TheRoyalDong
She doesn't show that much skin either
Bubbells
That makes more sense. I would have paid more attention the other way as a teen
Ryebread91
Oh please, you know this was plenty for us back then. Also ben10 in general was awesome so I was already paying attention.
MutatedHorse
#9 I'm so lucky I found my wife. Iv been down to Hell and back and she's stayed right by my side, even when I lost jobs and was so depressed I stayed in bed 20 hours a day, she was there. True love isn't being on an island having sex on the beach, it's being in literal hell on earth and still being right next to them.
middlenameconfusion
Did anybody else read "I'm so lucky I found my wife," and immediately wonder if this post was made by an Ent?
KyleZombie
No but your comment gave me a sensible chuckle.
NoPantsOhClock
#6 That is enough internet for one day.
IAmTheBadW01f
But if you stopped there you didn't get #40
PenguinPete
"But Donald, what about your dozens of 13-year-old girlfriends on Epstein island?" "No one's ever gonna find out about that..."
RealRaceRiotsAreAboutGettingBlueshelledInMarioKart
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1eDNkb2U3bXJzdXMyb21jemNpZ3JleTJvMG53cW5pampjYTlmOGp4dSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/7mI0mLnprQCOs/200w.webp
Courier87
#6 there would be a subset of maga assholes very turned on right now if only they could read. Instead it's a problem for the rest of us
theycallmemichael
#19 I thought Jesus was a Lich.
asm80dfa8sdfj
#47 You shit on your steering wheel's bed?
Arenlor
They're just as bad as their steering wheel?
LucilleWhoKnowsNot
#31 oops. Bf and I always wear socks in the colder months. Does not interfere with the mood at all
CJARJSA
#49 The picture is of Actress/Novelist Alice Regnault, she wasn't a prostitute, and the story is false.
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/prostitute-gerda-puridle-eyelashes/
UltraLincoln
#9 my only worth is in what I can do for others
FacelessAce
You are worthy of love no matter what you can do for others. You have inherent worth as a person.
dogfavoriter
#21 I'd have made this with no blue at all.
StarscreamAndHutch
#24 fact that the highest DUI vehicle is the Ram 2500.
I drive a Ram truck and love it. I actually tow frequently, so its not all compensation. I guess Im on that side somehow.
Sticklebrickk
Just don't get mad at somebody else when you drive into their lane, buddy
Arenlor
We had to buy one to tow our RV that we live in. Our primary vehicle is a small Jeep Patriot SUV though.
dohcohv
I have a 4WD manual f-250. It was $2k. The A/C and cruise control still work.
I mostly use it to teach people to drive stick and dump runs for others.
RosencrantzNGuildensternNeverLived
I had an F-250. I turned the key and it caught on fire and burned to slag in my driveway. I have a GMC now.
dohcohv
Why GMC and not Chevy?
dreammer243
#9 The patriarchy hurts men too.
ElbowDeepInAPoliceState
Yeah, lotta people never seem to make the connection/have never been told that "patriarchy" is "rule by *fathers*", not "rule by *men*". And father in this here term doesn't mean you have kids.
Arenlor
That's the toxic part of toxic masculinity.
Fidregore
Literally no, that's patriarchy. They're different and women or even children only valuing men for their usefulness is also fairly toxic. Men didn't do that one. Hence the comment.
TheMostKink
In my experience, the first ones to point out you're not useful enough is other men.
andexer
No it doesn't! I turned out fine! Want to hear about all my achievements? I'm very useful and manly!
PineappleLoopsBrOether
I lived the life of a house cat. Literally.
andexer
You libertarian you ;)
PineappleLoopsBrOether
...... how dare you ...... I am a Librarian
andexer
Librarian! Yes! Makes sense, and is much better.
I thought you were referencing this:
AuthGaeuvyen
ah shit so have I. Lots of sitting around napping doing fuck all. occasionally getting the zoomies and gotta do stuff.
Arbitrarynamehere
The "I turned out fine" crowd did not in fact turn out fine
Illumian85
I say I turned out fine specifically because anyone with the slightest power of observation can tell it's a lie....both of my parents believe me when I say it.
prosper020
“Of course you did, we couldn’t have made any mistakes ever while raising you. We’re perfect people!”
Sounds like my friend’s parents too.
At the very least, one of my parents acknowledges that they made mistakes. The other one is incapable of hearing any form of criticism without becoming defensive.
Illumian85
My dad kinda figured out that he made mistakes when he finally went to therapy in his late 60s, but seems to be under the impression that it all worked out fine. Which I suppose technically it did because I at least recognize (I hope) most of my issues.