
CrypticalEnvelopement
97847
3675
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My mother was a nursing home resident, and sadly she passed away from Covid this spring. My sister and I decided to honor her by buying some gifts for some residents who don't have any family. I ended up recruiting several family members to join us and now it's turning into a bit of a thing. I'm proud to be honoring her memory like this, and I know she'd be proud of me for doing so.
I miss you mom
Front page edit: I had several requests about how people can do this themselves, or if they can join in my effort. If you want to do something similar yourself I'd suggest starting by contacting a nursing home in your area and ask to speak with a social worker. They will know which residents don't have any family. I'd also try and get in touch with the activities coordinator, who will know which residents don't get visitors and are most in need of some charity. Ask them if they could create a personalized list of those residents and specific needs/wants unique to each resident.
Or, if you want to join my effort, that would be wonderful! I'm located in Syracuse, NY, and if you send me a message I'll happily coordinate with you. No money necessary! Crafts, artwork, Skype calls, and possibly even baked goods (still waiting for confirmation that it is okay with the pandemic) are all needed as well!!
Seethreepeeoh
I'm sorry for your loss. Sounds like passed on her compassion
CrypticalEnvelopement
Thank you very much. She was big on charity and giving back.
MileyCyprusHill
That's a great idea! I'm gonna use that.
CrypticalEnvelopement
Please, please do! I'd suggest starting by contacting the social worker(a) on staff at the nursing homes, and maybe the activities 1/
CrypticalEnvelopement
Coordinator. They will know which residents don't have family or don't get visitations. Keep being awesome!
NattyNatterss
As a nurse in ltc may I suggest items like disposable razors, toothpaste/brush, deodorant and shaving cream as stocking stuffers?
NattyNatterss
These are cheap but valuable items for people with not family to provide foe them.
CrypticalEnvelopement
Thanks for the suggestion, that's great to know! Also thank you for everything you do
Kurama99
Great way to honor your mother's memory @op. Good for you!
CrypticalEnvelopement
Thanks! I'm going to make it a yearly commitment of mine from now on. So far I've got 11 friends and relatives to join me!
Kurama99
I might look into this where I live depending on my funds after getting the fam their presents. Thanks for the awesome idea!
CrypticalEnvelopement
as well as activities directors who are familiar with any visitations those residents get. I'd start with them. Be sure to ask about 2/
CrypticalEnvelopement
That's wonderful, thank you! Every nursing home has social workers that are familiar with the family situation of their residents, 1/
CrypticalEnvelopement
specific requests/needs unique to the resident you are buying for! 3
Kurama99
Cool, thanks!
idrinkcheapbeer
lol. I've had 2 negative experiences. Didn't get a gift years ago. Decided to try again last year, same result. I know there is a (1)
idrinkcheapbeer
"backup plan" but I never bothered. I didn't want a fucking pity present. I'll never participate again. (2)
CrypticalEnvelopement
That's really shitty, I'm so sorry
zeacorzeppelin10
I send people all the origami I have made during the last few months
Itwasonlyakitchenfire
@OP I’m in NY too. (Downstate though). If you are looking for help, I can get together a gift or two.
CrypticalEnvelopement
I'm certainly not going to say no! Send me a PM and I'll let you know ASAP WHEN when I have more specific details in a few days
fortheloveofbutter
As a retirement home administrator, I just want to say Thank you!
WhatTheWhatTheWhatTheWhat
This is something @freepizzadude should get behind. Maybe @freepresentdudebcpupd be a thing
Velisity
Ive done it twice, didn’t get anything in return either time. I’m not signing up for it again.
CrypticalEnvelopement
You're not the only person to say this, I'm so sorry to hear that
TheN8
What a wonderful idea. Can we all join in? I have no need for gifts from others, but giving something would be a great end to 2020.
CrypticalEnvelopement
To join me in my endevour
CrypticalEnvelopement
I've had several requests to that effect. I may either make an instructional post for how to do this in your own town, or requesting offers1
koakuma42
You rock!
NewMoonRising
@op please send me a mailing address. I'd like to Santa you and your sister a small hand made gift ❤️
urhonor
Instead of a secret Santa, you'll be a sacred Santa this year, thank you for a such wholesome inspiration
zylokun
I'm trying to move and having to suffer from covid and loss of hours. Im still doing SS as it makes me feel good about myself
nvrmndrnbw
Well, that's awesome! But who's gonna be your secret santa?
CrypticalEnvelopement
CashWiley
My blood boils every time I drive past the local nursing home and see the staff outside congregating without masks. Now I'm mad again.
fortheloveofbutter
I would fire them so fast
ConformistWithACause
That's such an incredible thing. How can I help @op?
thatscool22
Call your local nursing homes and see if there’s some people who don’t have family visit. Get your family and friends to help you.
RegginaPhalange
Sorry for your loss @op. You are making your momma proud!
CrypticalEnvelopement
Thank you! I'm doing what I can
Mihesuah
My mom used to live in a nursing home. She has been gone for six weeks and I still miss her.
CrypticalEnvelopement
I'm so very sorry for your loss. It may seem trite but I promise it does get better with time. The pain never goes away, but it gets better
MouseBalls
This is an amazing idea!!! I'm in NJ if someone wants to get together and do this! I hated visiting nursing homes as a kid because it was 1/
MouseBalls
2/ so depressing. And now that my grandmother is in one, I want to make her holiday, and others' there, better now that I have money.
CrypticalEnvelopement
Will probably be familiar with which residents get the fewest visits and are most in need 2
MouseBalls
Great advice, thank you!
CrypticalEnvelopement
My pleasure!
CrypticalEnvelopement
I'd suggest contacting a social worker at the home and asking about residents that don't have families. Also the activities coordinator 1/
AgamemnonsMemes
I would love to do it but i just don't have the disposable income and i just don't know how much people spend on this thing.
CrypticalEnvelopement
Secret Santa is usually up to $25 or so, although if you want to spend more you obviously can
AgamemnonsMemes
Thats not too bad, maybe i'll give it a shot
CrypticalEnvelopement
Just be aware there is a chance you may not get something back because some people suck. But I've gotten some wonderful gifts given to me
AgamemnonsMemes
I actually worry less about that than i worry about sending something bad.
CrypticalEnvelopement
When you sign up you fill out a form about your interests, which gets sent to your Santa. Just stick to that and you'll do fine
Emanresu18
What a good idea. I'll contact my grandpa's nursing home and see what I can do. I'd pitch into yours too if you weren't two hours away.
CrypticalEnvelopement
That's so thoughtful of you, I hope you're able to brighten up someone's holiday!!
N3ss3
After three negative ones I'm not doing it ever again
CrypticalEnvelopement
That's understandable, I'm very sorry to hear that
iamthugnasty
Serious question. What can/should you buy for people in nursing homes? I always thought they had pretty strict rules for what you can have
CrypticalEnvelopement
Naw, they can have pretty much anything that's not medicine. I'm working with the social workers and activities coordinator to get a 1/
CrypticalEnvelopement
Her stocked FULL of munchies and goodies at all times!
CrypticalEnvelopement
Personalized list of wants/needs for each resident without family and going from there. My mom was known as the snack lady because I kept 2/
midsummer1942
That is an awesome way to honor your mom @op!
CrypticalEnvelopement
Thanks! I think she's be rather proud of me
vanella
Thank goodness, one less post about someone who didn't get their SS-gift and how the world sucks :D I freaking hate Imgur's SS
meganical
That seems like a far better way to spend your money! I should lose my bitterness towards the elderly in our country but I’m mad at them
meganical
Our country, economy, and world are in a horrible state and not enough of them cared to do anything to stop this all from happening
CrypticalEnvelopement
You're not wrong, but we be the change we want to see in the world by living a life of compassion and not bitter hatred
ravenfool
This. <3 It's absolutely the only way forward.
meganical
Oh no. I totally respect you & others for your kindness and agree with that. Forgiveness is really hard for most people though, me included
CrypticalEnvelopement
Forgiveness is very difficult, as I know first hand. But staying angry is "like drinking poison and hoping the other guy dies"
CrypticalEnvelopement
Those in nursing homes aren't the ones to be mad at, it's the ones in retirement communities
Threadnomancer
Holy shit thats a spot on point and picture of misplaced classist anger in our country
idonthinksoo
People in nursing homes can still vote, no?
CrypticalEnvelopement
Can, yes absolutely. Do? That's another question entirely, especially if they don't have family to bring them to the polls
idonthinksoo
I've heard they simply get help filling out absentee ballots, no family or travel required. They're still voting citizens.
CrypticalEnvelopement
I hope that's how it works, because that's how it should work. I drove my mother to the polls though
SkyxzStone
I’ve been screwed twice in a row doing SS first from the person and then from the backup....it’s a great idea but I’m not doing this anymore
BackfeeElli
People like you make me register as a Backup Santa this year so this stops happening. Shipping is very high in costs for packages, but 1/2
BackfeeElli
maybe I can send you a german christmas card? As a compensation for the Secret Santa packages that never came to you. Just if you want it
SkyxzStone
I appreciate the offer but i’m ok, I just assumed life happened and they couldn’t send stuff or it was lost etc....thank you though
SkyxzStone
I’m sure whoever needs a backup will appreciate you being their to help :) thank you though
CrypticalEnvelopement
I'm very sorry to hear that. I'm pretty sure my first time I accidently sent alcohol to a minor...oops!
SkyxzStone
Probably an interesting talk with the family when the mail arrived haha
CrypticalEnvelopement
The account was several years old, but got deleted shortly after the gift was received. As an interest they said "booze" which it didn't 1/
CrypticalEnvelopement
Occur to me until late that it was a very immature way to phrase that
A1ekazam
I signed up this year reluctantly. Last two years I was disappointed.
DragonQueen12345
Same here. 2 years both gifters and back up ones didn't send either.
bob1967
Same, I made a real effort and got an empty mail box in return.
RunsNakedThroughSwamps
An empty box, seriously? If you're going to spend money on postage, at least fill it with dead leaves or glitter or something.
idonthinksoo
I didn't realize ppl trolled Secret Santa too. That sucks.
MileyCyprusHill
Jeez, you'd think if they made the effort to mail the box and pay the postage, they'd at least put SOMETHING in it. Like, cookies at least.
FeistyWife
Participated 2 years in a row and was a backup gifter one of those years. Never received a gift back either. Can't afford it this year.
BackfeeElli
People like you make me register as a Backup Santa this year so this stops happening. Shipping is very high in costs for packages, but 1/2
BackfeeElli
maybe I can send you a german christmas card? As a compensation for the Secret Santa packages that never came to you. Just if you want it
FeistyWife
I would love to do a card exchange, I've been making Christmas cards! That sounds lovely ❤
Threadnomancer
Had someone bail on me last year, my backup gifter kicked ass. Just doubled my family size for gifts or I'd be signing up backup this year
ohmygodtheysaidnewzealand
My SS ghosted me last year so this year I’ve made a note to even just send a card or token so I know you’re not justa SS freeloading asshole
celestedrake
Last two years I was definitely happy with mine. If you are still disappointed this year, tell me.
ConformistWithACause
That sucks you had negative experiences. Maybe this will be the one
NarratesTheDarkerStory
uh oh. this is my first year. what was disappointing? I've been bipolarly dreading this and excited. I'm afraid I'm going to get rick rolled
NarratesTheDarkerStory
Fears abated, you guys are the best. hopefully I get one of you all.
WoolyBullyDoesNotRhymeWithSully
This is my 4th (I think) & have received some great gifts. I've also tried to get a few small things from the recipient's list of interests
WoolyBullyDoesNotRhymeWithSully
I've had good experiences from it but YMMV
RigoryMorty
3rd year for me, never been disappointed. Well one year the recipient never made a post, but meh, at least they got something.
kittensandmittens
I've always enjoyed my gifts and the act of gifting. I never expected responses from what I sent. I think it depends on your expectations.
yesallthegoodnamesweretaken
Been doing it for years and I've never been disappointed! :)
NarratesTheDarkerStory
but lazily, like just an envelope with a sticky note with a single written line 'Never gonna give you up' and thats it.
acceptmeplz
I've did it once, had a really good experience. My GF was a lurker and opened an account to do it last year. Made a nice gift to someone. 1/
acceptmeplz
She never received a confirmation he/she received it and the person that picked her never sent anything. 2/
acceptmeplz
I've seen that they match people who are active. I've registered again, It was fun for me. Worst case you make someone happy. 3/3
ConformistWithACause
As long as you have fun with it, it will be okay. There's people who abuse this to get free stuff and not send anything. Hopefully that
ConformistWithACause
Doesn't happen but if it does, they have backup gifters to help out. Ive done it twice before and both times, the people I had were so nice
A1ekazam
I never even got a response to know if they got their gifts... It seemed like no one really liked what I got them despite spending hours
A1ekazam
Shopping for them...
RigoryMorty
They probably did tho, some people just lurk for their own reasons. I got a recipient with 0 posts, didn't post mine either.
RigoryMorty
And I spent like $70 just on the shipping to frickin Australia from Scandinavia, I just assume they liked it. I would have.