OohDaLolly
15077
805
10
Since we know the couch thing isn't true, here's a dump of things that probably ARE true ;)
Jul 24, 2024 1:27 PM
OohDaLolly
15077
805
10
Since we know the couch thing isn't true, here's a dump of things that probably ARE true ;)
StrangePaegan
I knew they weren't holding back when they said he throws away his bacon grease.
nonickname23
StarshipSuperTrooper
#8
EmptyWeird
JD Vance thinks Dolly Parton is what you say when you have to move your child's Barbie.
DarkSock
JD Vance holds his coffee mug with 2 cupped hands and smiles with his eyes closed while smelling it.
DarkSock
JD Vance is the type of guy that flushes a fart.
DarkSock
JD Vance closes the refrigerator door by bumping it with his hip.
luxembourgish
Solid gold
DarkSock
JD Vance looks in the mirror when he puts on Chapstick.
DarkSock
JD Vance opens his potato chip bags with scissors.
ArcaneConjecture
JD Vance plays "Magic: The Gathering" without proxies.
Ryebread91
DarkSock
JD Vance wraps the telephone cord around his finger while he's talking on the phone.
nomorehate
When you tell JD Vance to meet you in the holler, he goes in a corner and screams. Tried to feed JD Vance creases, but he said he didn't like wrinkles. Told JD Vance that dog just won't hunt and he called Kristi Noem. I could go all day.
DWolf
Okay, the creases one is the only one I don't get.
nomorehate
It's a local name for watercress :) But is widely applied around here for any early spring green (collards, mustard, turnip, etc) that grow wild. We'd go out in April with a Walmart bag and stuff it, and ourselves, full. Then come home and fry them with some ham, eat with crowder peas and cornbread!
LtRooney
Vance thinks "sweet tea" means iced tea that you added sugar to.
tallyhoho
And it's a packet of artifical sweetener
digitalaaronscustoms
Isn't the ratio something like 1 pound of sugar per gallon?
LtRooney
The issue that you need to add sugar before ice so that it's absorbed properly. It doesn't take that much sugar to get it sweet if you do it correctly, though Southerners do like their sweet tea much to sweet for my taste.
digitalaaronscustoms
Since you have to boil the water for the best quality tea brewing, you add the sugar after the steep, while the tea is still pretty hot. Helps the sugar dissolve better. But I haven't actually made any in years. I just remember using a ton of sugar per gallon.
wseslar
Hear me out, on this issue I'm willing to cross the aisle. #13 would have me kinda stoked.
XavierElrose
Oh, for sure. But it'd still be *weird*.
Full disclosure: I'm pretty used to that container having cookies. Just not the ones on the lid. Homemade cookies have to be stored *somewhere*.
PaleChapter
I was disappointed by every little old lady whose house I ever visited.
sunyudai
Is it cookies or sewing kit? Let's find out!
FactWino
The couch thing isn’t true?!!!!!
DarkSock
It was an ottoman.
FactWino
Who fucks an ottoman?
KirbyUOR
Someone from Turkey
OohDaLolly
It was made up by a Xitter user. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/jd-vance-couch-cushions/
[deleted]
[deleted]
podkayne13
Mucho de agreesmo!
OnyxTurret
I mean, who's going to read the book to find out?
DWolf
I read it years ago. The ghost he hired for it was quite good and knows fiction quite well.
OnyxTurret
So, was it a decent read? Not that I'm going to, too many on my list already.
DWolf
It actually was, and for someone who grew up in similar circumstances, it resonated with me. But conservatives seem to read their own meanings into it, such as it's an explanation of why the working class isn't working anymore and just basic trash.
iidky
Nothing wrong with unsweetened tea. That sweet tea stuff is nasty!
SugarSmack
Iced Tea without sugar is just dirty water
LazyUsername99
Bless your heart.
69thStPepper
Agreed, but you're not from there either
badmedic504
As I'm getting older I don't like a ton of sugar in my tea. And that's ok! I've been drinking tea since age 2 with every meal, I really don’t need the empty carbs.
theovermynd
Ah you ain't from here neither then lol
nomorehate
I hear you, and as someone who also likes hot teas some of the southern sweet tea (esp at restaurants) has WAY too much sugar in it. But cut the sugar and add some honey instead and you have my favorite summer sweet iced tea.
bladderinfection
That’s the point. Real southerners will take a health food like tea, and add sugar until it becomes a dietary chemical attack.
Omni21
Man I'm from the south but I don't drink sweet tea. Unsweet with lemon! Or the unsweet tea from Panda Express. Good stuff! I also make herbal teas and pour them over ice. Now I'm thirsty 😆
Tumescentpie
You know people are saying bless your heart over this
Jeanemon
Sweet tea isnt sweet enough till every sip is crunchy.
ASHNoNa
Sounds like someone adds their sugar after the tea is cold. You gotta boil the (half gallon of) water, then leave it on the hot stovetop while you steep the (4, family sized) tea bags for 5 minutes, then remove the teabags and stir your (1 cup) sugar in until it melts. Let it cool enough that it won't melt the pitcher, then pour it in the pitcher, fill it with another half gallon of cool water and fridge it. Also, if you dip your spoon in honey before you start to stir the sugar in, that's nice.
Jeanemon
Yeah as a kid we'd make porch sun tea and sugar it up crunchy. When I'd brew it for my job it was like, five gallons of tea to a 4 pound bag of sugar xD
formerwizkid
I grew up thinking everyone had a pitcher of strong syrupy sweet tea in the fridge. I don’t mind unsweetened tea, and I recognize the health negatives of the sweet stuff, but it’s basically comfort food.
Shawnthegirl
See, I have Southern roots, but grew up in Cali - I just make my tea lightly sweet.
etcnotect
I just put lime juice in there and it's great
Shawnthegirl
I also like milk tea, hot tea with and without creamer, iced latte teas... good stuff. Sometimes you just want the flavor of tea, sometimes you want a treat.
etcnotect
Black tea with milk and sugar is great. A little bit of nutmeg and allspice in there is nice. I'm also a big fan of roiboos tea
AmyBethMegJo
Sugar in tea is as salt on most foods. Should not be a flavor on its own; should just be enough to enhance the flavor of the item being sweetened/salted.
AnythingMuchShorter
JD Vance asks why the corn bread isn't sweet, and checks if okra is spicy.
TeamRobot
Hey. I’m from Wales UK, leave my unsweetened tea alone. You crazy guys across the pkñs know nothing of good tea.
Arcanum3000
Apparently Vance was chosen to run up numbers in an expected blowout against Biden.
Wardonk3y
Jd vance leaves meat on buffalo wings
Mr21782Man
#1 You can wash cast iron. As long as its seasoned properly and you're using regular dish soap the seasoning will be fine. This is a myth based on based on the ye old times when people cleaned everything with lye and steel wool.
Etal00
You warsh my cast iron skillet and I'll know another way of using it 🤬.
Surullian
Oh daaaamn (my grandparents were big on reusing those containers)
ChimkenDumplin
I buy actual butter now because there is no comparison (and Irish butter, because America's bad at dairy) but I still buy Country Crock for the tubs. And it's just vegetable oil with stuff in to make it solid so I use it instead of buying canola or whatever. Then I got the container.
brokehackfourlane
lol turns out everone hates vance
DarkSock
JD Vance put his pants on by lying back on his bed and kicking his legs in the air.
PostalHeathen
Ahh, yes, Appalachian inside humor. I'm sure JD Vance doesn't get the jokes, since he ain't from here.
Gryphonosiris
Funnily my mom is from Washington and says "warsh".
TheMetalMafia
Don’t you mean Warshington?
getthismanabeer
It was a 70/30 appalachia/midwest hybrid.
PostalHeathen
That pretty well describes Ohio, though the ratio varies depending on where in the state you are.
ObiWanKenobitch
As someone from the south and a state with large areas with a very similar culture and population to Appalachia (Arkansas)… I actually recoiled at the “he likes unsweetened tea” one. That one struck me as the most insulting of them all 😂
RaspK
Joke's on him, I'm Greek and those jokes make sense just fine, even if I have to translate them to our own versions thereof in my head. ;)
XavierElrose
In my head they were all basically accusing him of using an umbrella, calling it a trip to the beach, and not knowing whether or not the mountain was out.
dbbbbs
Having grown up in Seattle, I get that!
DrMadMadge
Fellow PNW-erner?
XavierElrose
Yup.
SadsPikkelson
Most of these are more Midwest than Appalachian. Like saying he dips his mozzarella sticks in marinara instead of ranch. Should be more like: JD Vance thinks moonshine is an aftershave. Or, JD Vance can count how many strings are on a banjo. Or, JD Vance has all of his adult teeth. Or, JD Vance thinks Nascar is pro-cop. Or, JD Vance thinks a holler is when you call your neighbor on the phone. Or, JD Vance uses Sudafed for colds.
Splootzi
Born and bred Appalachian here. They all check out and made me laugh. I like a few of yours as well. Never heard of the marinara vs ranch debate here.
somethingsomethingwittyhere
I'm reading all these in her voice:
kahooki
"...cah-ya-ehs..."
nsmike
She's right though, ticks are the worst. Fuck ticks.
blackflame561
Out hiking once. Sat down to take a break. Stuck my hand right down on a fresh clutch of hatching baby ticks. Fuckers are minuscule. pulled at least 50 off me . It's been 15 years and I still don't feel clean.
somethingsomethingwittyhere
Tick bites can transmit Lyme disease, which is some very serious shit. But JD Vance is even worse shit.
bladderinfection
#10 My grandma used to say “warsh your teeth” before bedtime.
Kyzyl
Are you my cousin? My grandma did the same.
mrmartini
My grandma would say it like "woish" ... or "woysh" ... didn't have the "r" but an "oi" sound instead. Rather odd. "Woysh the deeshes."
wseslar
"did you wring out your warsh cloth before you hung it on the door, or is my bathroom floor gonna be wet?"
DocWats
Yall had cloths? We had warsh rags
wseslar
Warsh rags were for dishes, cloths were for bathing. *Shrugs*
oozabooza
As a kid I never once washed myself. Instead I warshed myself because my parents were from Pittsburgh.
nomorehate
Wait a fuckin second, I thought "warsh" was literally endemic to my (extremely hillbilly) area of Western, NC. My friends and I refer to it as Appaltongue since most of the people around here are descendants of Appalachian Mountain folk. When my Nana is talking to her bro's/sisters and they get going fast, it's almost like they're speaking another language. You guys ever heard "don't clem that tree!"?
ilhares
My extended family is from Nebraska. They all said warsh. It made me twitch every time. That and their religious zealotry is why dad left.
GuitarBobMonterey
Our York, PA bunch even used hot wooter.
abidikgubidik
And we eat karrn instead of corn
ArcaneConjecture
But didja ever worsh yourself in a krik? Watch out for the jaggarbushes!
graehall
RaspK
@BotDrawA J. D. Vance peeking through the window, saying: "Yes! Haha, yes!"
NickRivieraMD
it really took the 'through a window' part literally
RaspK
yep!
BotDrawA
@RaspK Here's your (experimental extra) drawing of a "J. D. Vance peeking through the window, saying: "Yes! Haha, yes!", in a glacier"
RummageSaleBubbler
Going to kill the EPA?
BotDrawA
@RaspK Here's your drawing of a "J. D. Vance peeking through the window, saying: "Yes! Haha, yes!""
IIikethecutofyourjib
I like the disturbing man behind jim
cmdshift3
What's with the gloves on the couch in the house designed by Jony Ive?
newsguycraigevans
JD Vance confirmed that he humped a latex glove in a couch for sexual gratification.
cmdshift3
Jesus. I don't believe I'd have told that one, brother.
invaderjak
#1 Everyone should wash their cast iron, just not with soap
Ryebread91
Soap is fine. It was the old soaps with lye that were an issue. That said you should just need some salt and elbow grease for most. Maybe some soap if it's really bad but then should probably reseason afterwards.
dolphindreamsandsatan
Don't you mean "warsh"?
invaderjak
no, I'm not pretending to be someone I'm not, unlike vance
dolphindreamsandsatan
touché
HonHomes
Modern detergents are fine, apparently, just make sure to dry and oil afterwards
invaderjak
hot pan + water has yet to fail me, but good to know
jcole01
Yes, this. Wash your cookware with soap. Nobody's using soap made with lye to wash dishes anymore. Use your Dawn or Palmolive or Ajax or whatever generic you want, it won't hurt the seasoning. I will say though, you might want to rinse a little more thoroughly to ensure the soap flavor/odor is completely gone. And of course, oil the cooking surface once dry.
CoffeeZombie
I mean, I usually do a salt scrub and call it done. If it's bad, I'll throw some water in it and deglaze. Every so often, I'll give it a gentle scrub with dish soap, though.
wadatahmydamie
One of these days I’m going to post restoration instructions for rusted cast iron. It’ll start with pictures of me using high end dish soap, then the dishwasher. The picture of me pulling it out of the dishwasher will show that it’s light gray, having been thoroughly stripped. Or perhaps I’ll season it for that picture. You know. Really stir the pot.
invaderjak
I save the salt scrub for when things get sticky, especially with garlic.
CoffeeZombie
Interesting. So, you just rinse the pan with hot water and wipe it out?
InkGoat
I use a scrub cloth coated with ground walnut shells or peach pits. Hot water and the scrubbie, then wipe out with a paper towel, heat up on the stove, and a thin coat of oil.
invaderjak
I use a scrub brush with short stiff bristles, OXO is the brand. Most of the time it's just for a few stuck bits that don't come loose when the water hits it.
I wipe it dry after, hit it with some canola or olive oil, and then put it back on the still hot cook top while it cools.