evilcoffeechick
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My partner of 25 years is gone. Some...aortic aneurysm...utter bullshit random fucking nonsense.
I don't know how.
Edit: ...hell of a thing to get a most viral notification for.
Thank you for the words. I will probably return to them frequently.
marquettegoldeneagles
So sorry for your loss. I lost my 10 year old nephew a few weeks ago. You're not alone in your grief. Please remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. Also, give you brain minibreaks. I'll watch very intricate movies to let my brain think of something else for a few hours. Als, therapy really helped me. I also lost my twin years ago so I can say you won't be in the dark forever. You'll see the light again. Hugs and pls DM if you need to talk
Wheee12
HD2composer
So very sorry for your loss
lozeldatkm
I didn't know aortic aneurysms were a thing until I lost my bandmate a couple years ago.
scaredshirtless
I'm so sorry, OP. One thing I wish someone told me when I was mourning - However you feel in a moment is valid. There is no way you "should" feel. You feel how you feel and that's the correct way to feel for you.
oddoregano
FUCK. That's absolute trash. We're here for you.
Ricdesan
Hold your dear memories closer and let them live inside you ... never to be forgotten.
BriefcaseTacos
/hug
Ggbambi
*big hugs* sorry 😞
TheLastGreatAudit
Had something similar happen to a close family member. Wild how out of the blue and how fast it was. Like hit-by-a-car type stuff. It's so important that the people you love know you love them and that you love being with them. I'm so glad you and your partner had that, even though I know it doesn't feel like very much right now in the face of so much loss.
EdoubleLIOdoubleT
Omg... I'm so sorry. My fiance had one in her brain... we actually lucked out because we were on vacation at the outer banks. She was flown from kill devil hills to Greenville nc, Vidant has a neurological icu... if we'd been here at home in western NC, she have gone to a mission hospital and died. I truly am just so sorry.. my inbox is always open if you need someone to listen.. I may not be able to offer advice or anything.. but I can make sure you're heard
ParanoidCarrot
death comes for us all, but i hope you can keep moving one day at a time
evilcoffeechick
Death should have focused on more important jobs. This was Dean messing up the natural order levels of...why him.
SirSchmoopyOfAwesometon
May his memory be a blessing! I'm so sorry for you.
If you want to scream into the void and get some responses, my DMs are open
thatguyfromny
This is how I lost my dad. Sucks
ilovetraveler
I am so sorry.
zeebull12
Life is a bitch. Gotta be a bitch right back. Survival is honor and perseverance is a memorial.
420supercoolusername69
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTY1YjkxZmJlY21kejd0Mm0yM2p2NmxyMGtnZHQzNHh4eGltYmNqeDRqYWhvM2JpYyZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/gzBwhbjfjdZzIaO9En/giphy.mp4
jimhotep
I'm sorry for your loss. Grief is the bitchiest of bitches.
BroWtfMann
Aye... 12 years strong and it won't let me go
CoffeeMakesMeTwitchy
The brain rewires and it's painful
MikeRotch23
Sorry for your loss.
MrsF1nch
I'm so sorry to hear that, are you alright? If you want someone to talk to, I have a lot of experience with grief.
SilentNemo
Stay safe, stay sane, stay alive.
Whatever you gotta do, you do it.
I'm sorry for your loss.
terribleclawz
When I lost someone, I went outside at night and picked a star, looked at it intently, and remembered the person. Memories fade. Days turn into weeks and months turn into years. It’s easy to forget things you don’t want to forget. But that star will be there for the rest of your life. You won’t be able to forget your person because the night sky won’t let you.
As true as the night sky will come, so too will the morning sun. You have time left on this planet. Find ways to smile.
Go get ‘em.
terribleclawz
Also, what an awesome shirt to wear when your time comes. Thundercats?!? Legend.
OhIfIMust
MaybeIllDisappear
I am so sorry OP
StabbyMcMurder
:(
Freak0zoid
Was...... Was it you?
I am sorry, i could not scroll past your username in relation to this post. I'll show myself out.
Freak0zoid
evilcoffeechick
Oh. That hits different now.
LoPan
I'm really sorry for your loss. When my ex left after 17y, my therapist said I had to grieve like she died. Sucks, I'm real sorry =[
marquettegoldeneagles
Props for speaking to a therapist and yes it's treated as a loss. I actually listened to a great podcast where a Dr. Explains this. Let me see if I can find it for you...
LoPan
/waits patiently
marquettegoldeneagles
I believe it was this one. And another. I know it's not the death of a person for you, especially, but these really helped me. Let me know if I can help you with anything else too.
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1zTStvHDuZHoHvM5QabCfi?si=jZQtLG3cQTyf-R1ogyb">w">https://open.spotify.com/episode/1zTStvHDuZHoHvM5QabCfi?si=jZQtLG3cQTyf-R1ogybJfw
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2q5hSxpVXw3oXfUKb09qqc?si=6zWF0x95Sv6HVZ1uJ2jy-Q
evilcoffeechick
One of the very specific orders I got from a friend was to message my therapist, but also call the VA as soon as I could to get an emergency chat with someone.
I did both. The call went nowhere but my therapist got me a time slot on Friday. They're very busy.
LoPan
That's great to hear, honestly. I really am sorry for your loss, but I'm glad that you've at least got some form of community here. Hang in there =]
DWolf
My condolences. It's hard not to even have the moment to say goodbye, but you have this meme and other memories to remind you not just of him but of how he saw you. It may not seem like much now, but these little things will matter in the future.
Feel free to DM me if you need/want (Penny died just after 9/11, so been there). Two bits of advice: allow yourself to smile when the time is right, and take a long trip somewhere in a few months when it settles down. It will get you out of the rut. 1/
DWolf
Whether the trip allows for reflection and serenity (beachhouse, mountain cabin), for throwing yourself into the chaos of life (Mardi Gras or a cruise), for something between (museums and institutions), or for a mix, you should instinctively know by then.
Respond to family and friends there for you, and don't be afraid to ask for the help you need or want instead of what's offered.
evilcoffeechick
I am in a friend's basement right now, with my two cats (I could not leave them, even though I know this makes it worse for them). I was...not given a choice? But in a nice way? She and another person just showed up.
I'm letting the normalcy of my friend's life flow around me like a river. It helps a little.
DWolf
Sounds very solid. Glad it works out. One of the worst things when Penny died was people telling me what they were going to do for me, which was usually making things more complicated. Be sure to speak up for yourself when necessary.
Again, let me know if you need to talk, including about things like life insurance (check if his work had that on him) and so on.
I wish you the best. I wish you peace.
evilcoffeechick
No insurance, which...sucks. Complications wherein I am not next of kin in spite of the extreme length of life we had together.
I have odd little concerns like 'wait, what about the bank. The stocks. And oh God the dentist I have to cancel his appointment. And the milk delivery how do I stop that.'
One is handled. One is...delayed until I figure out how to handle it.
DWolf
I understand. Penny and I put off marriage until the cancer passed (it didn't). Knowing how LGBT+ couples had no marriage rights then, I worried it'd apply to me, too. I was lucky enough -- her family didn't want to have anything to do with it.
You might need to lawyer up just for sanity's sake. I used a "quit claim" (or quick claim?) to get control of her estate, thanks to a legal clinic's help.
Also, check findhelp.org for help with funeral expenses. Some townships offer that in the US.
newdeckchairforthetitanic
Going through the death of my only child. Hardest part is trying to stay in the moment. I’m now crazy. I’m feeling you OP.
evilcoffeechick
Oh. Of all the things that aren't supposed to happen that's got to be the big one. I'm sorry.
DWolf
My condolences to you and yours. The only death I've not experienced is that of a child. I assume it's worse than even the multiple young deaths I went through. I can't imagine how bad it is.
I hope you have people to lean on and who care about you and that memories warm your heart and not harden it. Peace fall upon you, and my best to you.
newdeckchairforthetitanic
As a parent I had a very strong bond with my child. The bond is still there, but she is not. This is making me crazy. Thank you for your support
marquettegoldeneagles
Im so sorry and want you to know you're not alone in your grief. We lost my sister a few years ago and my nephew a few weeks ago. I've seen what this looks like and from a daughter to a parent hugs. DM please if you want to talk. My eyes are tearing up writing this
newdeckchairforthetitanic
Thank you so so much. I appreciate your empathy.
newdeckchairforthetitanic
I don’t know how to DM you?
marquettegoldeneagles
I messaged you first!
TheButtInButterfly
My condolences. On the flip side it sounds like you got 25 years of awesome memories! i'd be lucky to have 25 days.
claymationiscreepycool
Having been in this person's shoes. Please fuck off.
BroWtfMann
Having been forced to read your worthless comment that adds nothing to the topic whatsoever, fuck off. Who the hell are you to come in here and tell someone to fuck off like you own the place? Go rot in a hole somewhere you miserable twit.
Leaps
Not a time to make it about yourself.
CaveJohnsonHatesLemons
Sigh, some people show they understand and can relate by saying examples from their lives similar to the situation. It's how they show care and cope with their own problems.
Saying "It's not about you" begs someone to say "It's not about YOU" back to it. Your feelings on their reactions are so irrelevant.
As is my reaction to your reaction. But, I figured I'd try to shine light on it.
TheButtInButterfly
yeah, I just ignore the random idiots that come here with that type of thing to be honest. They don't help anyone and just show how ignorant they are. Whatever man, I always try to treat people how i'd hope to be treated
Leaps
If my reaction is irrelevant, then so is their reaction. So why even have a comments section at all? Oh yeah, it is for people to post their reactions.
And that post wasn't 'relating by saying examples from their lives', that would be something like "yes I lost my long time partner last year, I feel your pain". Instead it was an oh woe is me, my problems are even worse.
Druidhunter77
I feel you on that one