boobsalot
40119
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Feb 4, 2025 4:26 AM
boobsalot
40119
834
19
ArdentNature
GOAT left too early.
nvrgnagivuup
I was having a conversation at work last week about the Mandela Effect, and they brought up time travel and maybe that is the ripple effect. That you change something and other things stop existing or change, but everyone still remembers it. I replied with, “if sesame seeds disappeared off the market, I wouldn’t even care”
ScourgeOfAges
soulseekbob2320
Not a dump. A short tribute. 🏆
freakdiablo
An interview with one of his friends was posted a couple months back. Supposedly this was just Mitch being Mitch, it wasn't an act. One anecdote was checking into a hotel and he tried to pay with cash, but the hotel only accepted credit cards for deposit. "But this...this is the actual money. This is what the card represents. Why do we need to bring a middle man into this?"
siflandollysiflandollyshowROCK
An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
ThatOtherGirlYouKnow
When an escalator stops it is stairs, when it breaks it's a giant metal whip.
ElbowDeepInAJedi
Let me get a fajita sub and some Sun Chips, but don't bother ringing it up, it's for a duck.
knotydes
I just put in a sky light and boy are my neighbors mad....
AnakinsActingAcademy
Yesterday, I saw a wino eating grapes. I said “dude, you have to wait.”
BofusTeefus
Died too soon.
DignamWhenAskedaQuestion
Some times you can hear memes just from reading them, this is one of those times.
ihatethetv
That tree is very far away!
fortytwoembers
Saved by the bouncy of citrus
mn6334
A couple weeks ago when I was playing Magic with my friends they had some beer that was called Saved by the Buoyancy of Citrus and I think I was the only one who understood the reference
5ing
I used to laugh at these. I still do, but I used to too.
WhereOnceThereWasAYachtNowThereIsNot
I love the tag he put on #1, possibly in later sets, when he goes "unless you are... a TABLE"
Newitt
I used to like Mitch Hedburg.
nvrgnagivuup
I still do, but I used to too
BillyM00n
Came here looking for this. +1
goflyblind
FinnStep19275
Did you know that ducks eat for free at subway?
Hootykai
I miss him.
CopyJedi666
Always upvote Mitch!
DUCKS EAT FOR FREE AT SUBWAY!
DidgeryDrew
A burrito is a sleeping bag for ground beef.
morningxafter
Mitch was and still is one of my all-time favorite people in the world. I had the incredible pleasure of getting high with him a couple times when I was younger, and once he even had me come up on stage and tell some of his jokes for him while he ‘took a break’. Incredibly kind and friendly, even if he wasn’t super outgoing.
Doismellbacon
I had the pleasure of meeting his parents and Lynn at a screening of Los Enchiladas in Austin. I really liked his Dad!
Eldis
I wish there was footage of this break. That sounds funny af.
morningxafter
As do I. Alas, it was before everyone had a camera in their pocket. I’m sure footage exists somewhere, though it probably hasn’t been uploaded anywhere. I can tell you though, his ‘break’ was him sitting on his stool and telling me “Do the cheese grater one!” And “Now do the one about Bigfoot!” The audience was laughing because his stuff is gold no matter who says it, and he was laughing because I was doing my best impression of him while I was up there. It was definitely a great moment.
Eldis
Damn that must've been fucking spectacular, you made the dude himself laugh! <3
carbonar1
That's a spectacular memory. Good on you for making him laugh.
HufflePuffPuff
That’s awesome
folkscallmehi
How do you feel about frilly toothpicks? Im for em!
HorseDeepInADragon
scr1bbl3
WHISTLE!
MechKelly
Similar to Steven Wright, Jimmy Carr, and Frankie Boyle. Mostly random one liners.
Larktonguesinadicecup
Stephen wright and steve Martin have similar styles in terms of nonsensical/non sequitur one liners and gentle absurdism
BlushBlushBlush
I once saw a forklift lifting a craft of forks. That shit was way too literal for me.
FoamingToad
Did you cut it in half?
CornwindEvil
i haven't slept for ten days. Because that would be too long.
krysumwhere3lse
A severed foot is the ideal stocking stuffer
isthisjunkmail
I used to do drugs…I still do, but I used to too. RIP Mitch
davesScifiDriver
I used to do drugs, but that was way back...there.
ChicanoBatman
"I got a box of powdered water... I didn't know what to add to it" MH
AbeFromanSausageKingOfChicago
That’s Steven Wright.
ChicanoBatman
Damn it! You're correct. Another classic comedian. Thanks for the correction.
AbeFromanSausageKingOfChicago
Similar styles for sure.
MechKelly
Isn't drugs what killed him?
OwlFarm
I like rice. Rice is great when you're hungry and want two thousand of something.
AbeFromanSausageKingOfChicago
I like Kit Kats unless I am with 4 or more people.
Z0op
* exactly 3. Beyond that is becomes complicated