SquirrelWithATophat
41411
914
14
Jul 6, 2025 1:11 AM
SquirrelWithATophat
41411
914
14
StrandedonEarth
I’ve seen carpeted kitchens and bathrooms, but it’s usually a thin, zero-pile carpet. But one time my brother rented a house that had shag carpet in the bathroom…
jamiekellyxxx
Went to friends house for dinner once in 5th grade. We had a bowl of over cooked ramen noodles, no flavor packet and grey hunks of boiled ground beef mixed it. Never went back to that house.
Vebrandsson
Long long ago I worked for a company installing residential alarm systems down in Florida, the number of homes/people like number 13 I encountered was disgusting and shocking. It's always people with small dogs too.
SquirrelWithATophat
A coworker of mine used to do installations at private residences down in that general geographic region of the US. He has some wild horror stories of things he encountered.
Snooj
I used to install DSL. Occasionally I'd go to a place where the people did meth. I've never seen anyone actually doing it but the signs were there. The biggest sign was that every surface of the house was filled with empty food containers, mostly takeout, but the residents were thin as hell.
Babomonkey
#8 I had an uncle who had a house full of grandfather clocks. I s'pose it's even possible #8 IS about my uncle. He was a grandfather clock repairman, a specialty field small enough that you can charge the sort of money that results in a big house full of grandfather clocks. His prize clock was one with silverwork on it by Paul Revere. It was a pretty valuable collection and I could see wanting to avoid having word spread around town about it.
Vebrandsson
I've repaired a few coo-coo clocks over the years. Mostly they just need some more oil which has to be done just right as many I've worked on were actually designed to use the oil's own surface tension to keep the oil in place so if you over piled and broke the surface tension it'd all run out and you'd have to start again. Grandfather clocks are like 5 times more complex and anyone that can make a loving repairing them gets my respect.
Babomonkey
I know that he went as far as complete refurbishment, not just getting the gears working. He'd repair any damage to the wood, the trim, etc. and then "tune" the clock to its location based on humidity and temperatures. I was still pretty young when he passed away but I still remember the sound of three score grandfather clocks all striking the hour in unison.
AgathaHarkness
Visiting my aunt/uncle/cousin's house as a kid - there would be dog shit all over. Just piles of it. They ignored it. My family had pets but we didn't have shit everywhere. I didn't understand it. I was afraid to walk around. Then I noticed the hallway walls - covered in BOOGERS. Found out uncle would blow snot on the walls. No one ever cleaned it. Other than that, the house was unremarkable. No hoarding, clutter, or anything. Just shit, piss, & snot. Hard to believe my mom was related to them.
Trimule
Bought a very nice house from people who had three kids and the two biggest dogs I have ever seen (they were enormous), They were obviously "fresh scent/house perfume people", too. When we ripped up the carpets to re-carpet, you could see the clear outline of EVERY single piece of furniture in the house because the rest of the plywood flooring was soak stained with yellow dog piss. Had to re-sand the flooring and put 3 layers of Kilz primer under the pad and carpet. An unplanned expense.
Bohrdumb
mEnTaL hEaLtH wAsNt An IsSuE wHeN i WaS a KiD!11!!!
eddbrowne
What's the source ? Online ?
drGrafenberg
It sure was when I was a kid - back then people got locked up for good for all sorts of reasons. Then that regime was dismantled in the mid 80’s and everyone was let out. Everyone.
bfire89
Ominous…what regime?
drGrafenberg
It was almost standard procedure to lock people up in sanatoriums, would they deviate from the norm - masturbators, psychopaths, mentally challenged, the lot. Then in the 80’s it was decided that mental hospitals were no good so almost everyone was let out. In many cases that was the only correct solution, but there were quite a few incidents in the 80’s and 90’s with people who really should have stayed under care.
thedarkcanuck
Don't tell me that keeping a top-secret grandfather clock hallway isn't autistic af
TheBigBadBonerBiter
The kid with the Cat Fancy mags collection is 100% an autist, you can't convince me otherwise.
TheSpindrifter
Seconded. Aspies unite!
QotU
Or the Cat Fancy dude
SirRichardOfHead
Hey, he was just into cats.
SubTrout
I feel like if they were autistic they would be telling you MORE about the clocks, their manufacturer, the materials, the mechanisms, the lineage of their particular models, the type of varnish used, the precise tone of the chimes...
ElbowDeepInAPoliceState
Hyperfixation is a spectrum
Perkunas687
The idea of them ticking slightly out of time with each other is making my eyelid twitch.
happywalker
https://www.instructables.com/Lord-Vetinari-Clock/ if i ever own a home i will have a vetinari clock :-)
idontreadyourreplies
all those bongs going off like a audio strobe light
nicelyvillainous
Well, the nice thing about pendulum clocks near each other is they actually tend to sync up, the microscopic vibrations the swing imposes on the framing of the house transmit between them, so the sin waves eventually sync. Now, they can actually definitely be different for what second they think it is, and it’s pretty impossible to say how many seconds they will drift apart before they inevitably sync the ticks, so the chimes won’t match, but the second ticks eventually will.
Olestra
That only happens when the clocks have a sane ratio in their gear train, and thus need to tick 1,2 or 4 times a second.
I have two comptois clocks that beat slightly less than once a second, and it's different for each of them
nicelyvillainous
Although Tbf the synchronization doesn’t necessarily have to be in unison, they can also synchronize 180 degrees out of phase, etc. but the point is you’ll have a definite repeating pattern, not the chaos you start with.
Rutnibeard
But now imagine them ticking perfectly in sync. One giant, loud tick every second that reverberates down the hall, through your bones, and into your very soul.
Perkunas687
But then one day inevitably one will tick a little early. Then another. One by one they tap the countdown to increasing insanity!
NeurodivergenceMedley
Entropy dooms us all...
IUpvoteFuturama
#9 Grandma knows what it is, grandma fucking parties.
NinjaCongo
Grandma trolling everyone.
wobblecopterrrr
and noone ever even offered to smoke with her, she probably just thought they were all squares..
Hashbrown123
https://imgur.com/V2OE84n.jpg
SirRichardOfHead
I've been thinkin of getting one of these sets for a long time. Gorgeous!
HotSauceNCereal
This doesn't even belong in the list. Most everything else is vile and then oh grandma thinks bongs are vases. Does she fill the vases w piss?! That's how you make this list.
clankthegray
Probably been waiting for someone to call her out on her bullshit, then go smoke a bowl together lol❤️ 🙄 🤔
johneventually1
Nobody has passed the test yet
ProfessorMatt
Yep, Grandma would smoke a bowl (for her “glaucoma”) and then knit an Afghan to cover the garage.
bikergeek6249
That's like the "medicinal" hip flask grandpa/grandma from back in the day carried anywhere between the 1940s-70s.
weave
I remember something about a family that reused dental floss
SquirrelWithATophat
SquirrelWithATophat
For those interested. I once asked another site if they had similar stories. Here is a compilation of the more interesting responses.
/gallery/house-of-cringe-part-2-Vgs3Rqi
Freak0zoid
SquirrelWithATophat
Quit whining about imaginary points. The site is buggy and doesn't let me edit posts after they've been uploaded. So there was no way for me to add a link or pic of the other list after I remembered it existed. I didn't feel like deleting the whole post after it had been up for a while and then having people whine that I was trying to post it multiple times in the same day to farm points like I've seen people complain about before.
Freak0zoid
No. Others can edit their post.
SquirrelWithATophat
Did you not see what I said? I said the site is BUGGY. It may let other edit theirs, but it doesn't let ME edit mine. I have tried countless times and it never keeps the changes I make.
I've seen other users who apparently had the same problem, because they had to delete their posts and then repost them in order to fix typos and images not being in the correct order.
Just because YOU don't experience a bug doesn't mean NOBODY experiences it. That's why it's a bug and not a broken site.
Freak0zoid
K. Sounds like an issue, not an isme
Snooj
I experienced number 6. I was about 12 and had no idea that hoarding houses existed (this was long before reality shows and my mother was a fastidious home maker). I visited a friend and together we went to his friend's house. The porch was large and the only part you could access was the corridor from the porch entry to the house entry. Everything else was bags of stuff. In the kitchen they had a kitchen table but it was piled high with boxes without a square inch of space on it. Underneath 1-
Snooj
was also all boxes. The kitchen wasn't a bit open room with space to hang out and open counters to make food on like I was used to. I think the weirdest part for me was that table. Why have a table if it's completely unusable? The whole experience fascinated me. And then years later shows like Hoarders came out and I was like "Oh, wow, a lot of people just live like that". Also another friend of mine who I met many years later grew up in a house like that. His father ran a junkyard. 2-2
BossVarriack
I knew a kid that lived in a house with 6 siblings (3 sisters, 4 brothers) and they had one bathroom in the house... it didn't have a door. Not even hinges or a curtain. Wide open door with a glass wall shower.
Zathyra
#14 used to be common when people still had outhouses. My grandparents had ceramic bowls especially for that purpose in every nightstand .
bikergeek6249
# 14 was that in a child's room? If it was, I have to wonder whether the child wasn't afraid of waking their parents up with a trek down the hallway to the bathroom and a toilet flush. Picture a scenario with a rage-y, eggshell parent who's a light sleeper.
nation543
All of this is very concerning, and gives me flashbacks... My childhood wasn't THIS bad, but it was bad. I'm still reeling to this day but I didn't live through THIS level of stuff.... god damn...
Snooj
My dad turned out relatively normal considering his upbringing. His parents were separated so he'd live with one or the other. His dad didn't ever do laundry. Ever. You just rewore clothes from "the pile". By the time my brother and I were grown his dad had cleaned up his act (literally and figuratively) and we enjoyed visits with him. And I don't know anything about his mom because he literally never talked about her one single time and she died before my brother and I were born.
SirNinjaPirateBot
For number 1... can't believe it. Whole families don't just like ketchup enough to stick their fingers in it just to lick them clean. I'm more inclined to think that the originator of that story left out the part where they were dipping food, and didn't MIND getting their fingers in a shared dipping bowl, and licked em clean occasionally.
But, "Lickem Sticks but it's just your fingers and ketchup and everyone's sharing" nah I don't believe it. I find piss closets and beds more believable.
ProgeriaProstitutes
That one was about you, wasn't it?
Molvanian
#10 That's not THAT weird. Dude has a hobby, or is a collector. Having a complete set of magazines dealing with something you're interested in isn't odd. Now if he had like dozens of each issue, or every single square inch of the house was cat themed or something, sure. But the rest of these are disgusting, #10 is just quirky.
cousteau
"I'm into cats" could definitely use better phrasing, though.
DianNaoChong
"The dogs lick the plates clean. They are the dish washers lol"
traveladdict22
Slept over at a friend’s house in the first grade and he had to double check that I didn’t get the pee sleeping bag. He had to ask his dad to make sure. His dad explained that during sex he likes when his wife pees on his face so they have a special sleeping bag they do this on. So that’s how I first heard of sex and became a core memory later when learning about fetishes.
SquirrelWithATophat
What the actual fuck?
AgathaHarkness
Jfc information mom and dad should not be sharing.
ZOMGNO
Why don't they fucking WASH IT!?!?!?
bikergeek6249
These days if any mandated reporter heard that from a first grade child it would be a huge red flag. Having age-inappropriate knowledge about sex, sex acts, or sex terminology is called "precocity" and it's a huge red flag. I hope your friend was OK and that nothing untoward was happening to or with him.
JPRiddles
It was the dad who told him, not his friend. So ironically it was OP who ended up with the precocity
SquirrelWithATophat
My state was successfully sued a while back by former foster children who survived the system (some of their siblings didn't survive). The state outright REFUSED to do ANYTHING to help until after kids were dead. They were literally putting kids in homes strait out of horror films where they were starved & kept chained to walls and chemical toilets in a barren, locked room. And it was repeatedly done right in front of CPS agents checking in on the kids. The agents refused to report any of it.
KaijuMcCitysmash
I went to school with a kid that constantly reeked of cat piss. I never went to his house but there's no way his house didn't have about 40 cats in it
bikergeek6249
Maybe his parents were cooking meth? Houses that are meth labs stink like cat piss because of the waste from cooking.
sadurdaynight
There was a dude at school that always smelled like piss. One day in casual convo we're talking about how often we change our towels after showering. Most used a towel once or twice. This dude never changed his. By this age most of us kids knew that if you used the same towel over and over it would get a musty smell. We told him he needed to wash his towel. He said it was clean, bc he was clean out of the shower. So he was wiping his nasty mildew towel on himself. Dude was mental.
Totallyscrewedinaustin
Or just one that peed in his bed and his parents never did anything to mitigate it
rukeman
The pimple towel family needs to go to jail.
NotTheMamaNotTheMama
OMG I just realized now reading your comment it's a pimple needle. I read it as a pipe needle and was extremely confused how it would help.
helyx
Agreed. We keep our random needles in the curtains like normal people.
mouseasw
Seriously, you can have a needle for zits without hiding it in a towel. Stick it on a magnet or something if you're worried about it getting misplaced
bikergeek6249
After a random needle stick like that I wonder whether post-exposure prophylaxis for HIV wouldn't be a good idea. Who knows how many people handled that hand towel in addition to the family that lives in the house.
Lugh314159
It's like.... Okay, even if you think you need a needle in the br for any reason... Buy a pin cushion, or glue a magnet to the mirror or something
hiyesthisissatan
You don't keep pimple pins in hand towels! You keep pimple pins stuck into an old box of bandaids in the medicine cabinet with one single unused bandaid in it to justify the box staying forever!
Lugh314159
I just have a comedone kit in a little case.
sailorjurai108
Friend of mine growing up had dog & rat feces covering their bedroom floor and many many strips of fly paper hanging from the ceiling.
RthereKittynadosN2020
Where's the poop knife story?
Telemapus
My Insta algo threw up a reel where some lady was claiming her family used a poop-knife. I knew it had to be fake because it was a regular bathroom and it was like one of those little cake knives plus it was absolutely sparkling clean and new. Such a weird decision of how to make content and exploit an existing meme...
poscduke
The poop knife is weird on its own but I could never get past the fact they shared one rather than have a poop knife in each bathroom
mieper3
The thing I don't get is why are they shouting for someone else to hand them the poop knife? Why aren't they walking over themself to get it?
...
Are they doing all that before pulling their pants up?
poscduke
That's the implication, yes
Telemapus
In the original story the "rusty old kitchen knife" hangs in the laundry room and people call for it, from the bathroom.
poscduke
Exactly, basic knives are under $5 and they could get one to hang by each toilet
SquirrelWithATophat
Poop knives aren't that uncommon anymore it seems. You can actually buy poop knives at vat19.
https://www.vat19.com/item/poop-knife?srsltid=AfmBOoqkiUh4-LQ6a6REuUNBzR97i8aAx7Q1Quo3ne93w_fK5YR-kQdg
onecowboytoo
onecowboytoo
onecowboytoo
dbox
https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/
MentalUproar
Number 6 is heartbreaking
KyleZombie
Lotta stuff involving pee...
sodalis
All these people pretending they don't have a piss jug. Lol. Right, guys? Guys? ...
diemajorthrilldie
Is it really a piss jug if you only used it once during a particularly intense PvP match, learned your lesson and moved it to the garage to hold turpentine?
I'm... asking for a friend who still takes regular pee breaks even if I don't think it's entirely necessary.
RealRaceRiotsAreAboutGettingBlueshelledInMarioKart
You have a jug? What you think your better than me? You fancy bastard
notsurewhattocallthis
What are you using, the piss closet?
RealRaceRiotsAreAboutGettingBlueshelledInMarioKart
Oh look at this bougie asshole and his piss closet. We just piss on ourselves like the founding fathers intended!
notsurewhattocallthis
Piss be with you.
mithiwithi
NerdNerdburger
Ewwww
IIikethecutofyourjib
This pic breaks my heart. He could have mental issues or be abused. He could be really scared of the dark and scared to go to the bathroom at night. No matter what, this is a kid and the parents should be ashamed to put this online.
SlickWithaLimerick
I used to run an inmate work crew. One of the other drivers was a truly fucked up guy. He would pee in gatorade bottles while driving them around, dump the pee out so he could spit his chew into them.
TheDogEnd
anobviousthrowawayaccountduh
I’ve had jobs that require going to customer homes over several years. You would be shocked at the amount of people who are cool with bodily fluids, pet or otherwise, just chilling in their living spaces.
Ansph
Piss jug still not as good as poop knife
Snooj
It's one of those things that everyone does but most people do it correctly. There will always be outliers. I refurbed a bathroom once where an old man had lived. I'm pretty sure he still stood to pee but his pee went everywhere except the toilet. And the bathroom was carpeted. I have pictures.
BladeTurMoiL
I.. am interested in said pictures.
Snooj
I'll put it as the reply to this comment because maybe not everyone wants that popping up in their feed. If you click to see replies then it's on you.
Snooj
All those brown dots on the side are pee. I had to tear the walls out. At the time I removed the carpet it was moist. After I tore up the carpet and bagged it and carried it all out I immediately changed my clothes because ... there was odor.
Snooj
And here's the after picture in case you need to feel some relief. After tearing out all the tiles on the wall and removing the carpet I also tore up the flooring and put down a new tiled floor. The toilet is mostly the same, I only replaced the lid and the inner workings because it didn't flush well. That shower stall was a whole other story.
januarylover
The white carpeted kitchen is forgivable if it was like that when they got the house & they couldn't afford to replace it & the cat magazines could be innocent (like the kids who have a million 'WW2 airplane magazines' or whatever).
But everything else is something I want to tell a responsible adult about. Maybe indicate on a doll where the information made me uncomfortable.
Also, I feel so sorry for the children of hoarders.
januarylover
& yeah, the granny knew exactly what she had
Lontri
One weird thing about the house I grew up in: there was no lock on the bathroom (shower and sauna, no toilet in there) door. My parents think that there's no need for privacy when it comes to family. I fucking disagree.
ProgeriaProstitutes
Ours didn't have locks either. We just knocked.
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
Same, our house was old and the upstairs rooms had those big keyholes that you can see through. We didn't actually have any of the keys though. So for the upstairs bathroom you just knew that if the door was shut, someone was using it.
wobblecopterrrr
cat fancy is the least weird thing here, and that's saying something...
TheWombatStrikesAgain
The bong thing is kinda cute.
seesall9724
Nah the bong is. Its either genuine misunderstanding or granny showing off she likes to party
IdRatherBeOnThePlaystation
I didn't think the clocks was unusual, if I went there I'd find that really interesting
Isthe4thtimethecharm
Some may have been very valuable, and the owner was afraid of breakins.
Legrooveth
Or the bong, or, if they empty it then the jar of pee isn't weird because that's just a bedpan at that point. Like a bedpan is a bit weird these days but so long as you empty it in the morning it's hardly an issue.
Cloud423
I've heard about kids eating sticks of butter.
mouseasw
Either an autistic special interest, or a fetish. Hoping for the former but expecting the latter.
SquirrelWithATophat
Experience has taught me it's sometimes both.
Did you ever see the post about the guy who obsessed so much over his anal vore fetish that he held a "coming out" party for all his friends and family to tell them about it, but then couldn't understand why they were upset with him over it (he had also commissioned an artist to draw anal vore pics of everyone he invited)?
TheBigBadBonerBiter
Why did you remind me of this.
SquirrelWithATophat
wobblecopterrrr
ZOMGNO
Um. There is a word I don't know there. And. I don't want to know. But fuck you anyway? *gags a bit* i also don't want to read his story
ThatLoserTheFourth
Huh? Do.. Do you have a link?
SquirrelWithATophat
Be careful what you ask for.
/gallery/worlds-most-fucked-up-coming-out-party-A6l5tAq
ThatLoserTheFourth
I'm positive I will regret it, but thank you nonetheless. I will traumatize myself once I get off work
Athanar
Had to read this one out loud to my wife. Her response: "I'm too sober for this shit."
Pokegeologist
The house I grew up in had carpeted bathrooms because lol, it was built in the 70s. When I was maybe in preschool, I woke up to use the hall bathroom, and had to wake up mom and walk her over to show her because she didn't believe me there was a fairy ring of white mushrooms that had sprung up in the middle of the bathroom overnight. Apparently the drain line for the tub had been slowly leaking out under the carpet for days.
Pokegeologist
Our nextdoor neighbors at the same house had a greenhouse built in the early 90s and Mom, my brother, and I would house sit for them when they were on vacation and tend their plants, feed their koi and iguanas, etc. There was a back room we were forbidden to go into and the neighbor told us they were prize tomato plants. They had a whole grow room operation with an automatic drip system on a timer. They had seeds delivered out the back of High Times.
SquirrelWithATophat
The house I grew up in had a carpeted bathroom also, but my parents eventually got rid of the carpet in the 90s. It had a vinyl floor or whatever under it and the carpet was made to be able to be pulled up in case it needed to be cleaned. But obviously that was a ton of work with how big the carpet was, so that's probably why my parents eventually got rid of it.
AgathaHarkness
My 70s house had carpet around the toilet in 1 bathroom. Someone replaced the carpet in the 90s and, yup, back around the toilet. I didn't understand why they'd do it in the 90s until I saw the subfloor. Rough, stained, nasty. Took a hell of a lot of work to fix it up so I could lay down vapor barrier & vinyl plank. I had to buy a special enzyme based cleaner that's sold to nursing homes so I could get the piss stench out first.
Pokegeologist
We stripped out all the carpet and subfloor and tiled the bathroom after that repair.
AgathaHarkness
Good! Absolutely disgustingly unhygienic.
EverNotRelevant
The piss stuff is gross, but it was number 5 that made me gag.
Lulabel73
Is it the eating the butter that way (as in it would still be gross if they cut a piece off) or just that they wrapped it and put it back, like drinking from the carton type thing?
januarylover
Getting stuck with a pimple-pin... actually made me gag reading it
Snooj
I did that when I was a little kid. Butter was delicious. I'm glad my mom didn't buy Kerry Gold or I wouldn't have been wrapping it up to put it back.
darkdragonempress
I think 13 has to win for me. The butter is gross but I could technically scrap that part away. Urine is mostly but not always sterile and just smells/feels disgusting. I say that as someone who was getting laundry to go wash only to discover a patch the cats decided to pee on.
lizardbones
Urine is not sterile. Even in completely healthy people it contains bacteria that can cause or aggravate infections
RobBobertyYT
Huh. I always thought urine was fairly sterile when it was, well, fresh. But even if it was, it wouldn't be for long on every surface in the house.
darkdragonempress
This was not a dive I was expecting to get into tonight. Thanks for the heads up! Although so far I keep seeing that it’s a “female bladder” thing and I swear if this is another bit of nature shitting on women and guys don’t deal with it, I’m setting something on fire.
emertonom
Nope, pee isn't sterile from anybody. https://youtu.be/OTIYcemQ_OQ?si=jMfdkZNH9M1cUivR
darkdragonempress
Arson attempts averted. Thank you.