IDontPoopMyPantsEverydayPunk
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I'm having such a hard time with all of this. I dont want this divorce. But I have no choice. And I dont know if I'll make it through this. I've been in the psych ward twice since christmas for suicidal thoughts and behaviors. I wanna know everything will be ok. DCS is involved now because of the suicidal behavior and I'm not allowed to be left alone with the kids. It just gives him more ammo to paint me as the bad guy. I'm trying. Mental health disorders such so bad. I need someone to talk to.
thomtrish
I like what Joan Rivers said, “Listen, I wish I could tell you it gets better. I doesn’t get better. You get better.”
cammykinscd2718
I've been there myself. You're stronger than you know. It's ok cry, to talk and to mourn. Divorce IS a death BUT it's also a birth
isteponmykidstoys
I miss my dad everyday. He’s still alive. Battling his addictions. It’s hard when you know they’re alive and they don’t care about you..
gentlemenbehold
Hobbies and exercise got me through my last break up. Stay way from the sauce. I didn’t, big mistake.
freckledkink
I got rid of it all in my house so this didn't happen to me. I knew I'd use it for a crutch.
MisterBulldops
My gf was just diagnosed with bipolar and has been having severe manic episodes. She just broke up with me in a fit of destructive behavior
PrincessBride1
If divorce is like a death, divorce with children is like they come back and haunt you every other weekend.
AsYouWishh
The quote says “one of the hardest things”. You aren’t making light of anyone’s situation, instead feeling the gravity of your own.
AsYouWishh
Here if you want to talk. Have been through divorce, it sucks. You will be ok.
Rytam
You gonna let one person have that much control over you? I know the pain. Im bitter too. But you are more important then them to you
DragonCelt
Up to now, you have survived the worst. If you need to talk, I'm happy to listen. In the meantime, find public, safe places to be.
justlookin
I never heard of a marriage ending that didn't need to, but I'm sorry you're in the hardest parts of it now. Take care of you, you have to.
justlookin
You will look back in 6 months and be amazed at how far you have come, I promise. Just gotta make it there.
HishignesslordMooshu
10 months ago I was in the EXACT same position @OP You can't see it but it gets better. Praying for you ❤
thatVoIPdude
I'm going through much the same. Every day I look for the little things that make me happy. Enough of them together keeps me going.
supertimothyextraodinare
Dude, you can talk to me. I was going through the same thing. I dont know the right answer but I definitly know the wrong ones.
enchillita
If you need someone to talk to, I've been here and will listen to you. You're going to get through this. It's going to be okay. Breathe.
gurglemouth
Its not a fun experience, but if both people are not fully invested, then sometimes it just isnt worth the fight. I tried for 3 years 1/2
jp013
Hey brother I’m going through the same thing currently with my ex. I know it’s hard and I’m struggling everyday with the fact that it’s over
jp013
Surround yourself with friends they will help. That’s what’s helping me now.
AJ6998
Hang in there. It hurts now but every day will be a little less. You can make it through this, you have no choice. Take care of your kid
IDontPoopMyPantsEverydayPunk
Thank you ❤
poeticdensity
It will be tough and it might always hurt, but you will be okay
gurglemouth
To save it, to no avail. Focus on your kids happiness, and slowly grow yourself into what you want to be. Sounds corny but find yourself.
tweetydancerishere11
I’m so sorry to hear this. Divorce can be terrible. But there’s a better life ahead with someone who wants you. Love your kid
justanotherwhiteman
You just worry about getting through one day at a time. I don't mind chatting if you need to get some stuff out. Stay strong.
BESTtaylorINAUSTRALIA
It WAS tough, it fuckin sucked. Worst time o my life. But I learnt what I was doing wasnt love for her. Im discovered the hard way I am free
IAmNotTomBrady
Gone through this, couldn't even eat. There is an epiphany moment where you feel you're okay and just doing different. Stay strong.
sumowoman
I had a pretty traumatic childhood and never grieved anyone like this, dead or alive. I guess I'm missing out on something?!
Anakindergarden
I lost 15 kg. in so little time. I know exactly what you mean. Went upwards again after some time, though. So ur right, it gets better.
freckledkink
Yep. I lost 25 pounds during mine. It was stressful.
Garderp
Yeps.. Divorce, 2 kids 8&5 year old then... I knew mother will do her best to separate us by perfid manipulation.
Garderp
Only way to ease the pain was to accept this fate and grieve after them as they were lost forever. Hardest shit..
Garderp
I literally wanted to cut my heart out. Such a pain it was. Like having a constant heart attack.
Ilovebuns
Went through a divorce with BPD. Shit sucks. Hope you find your new happy spot. It's out there but takes more time than you want it to.
IDontPoopMyPantsEverydayPunk
I have BPD and bipolar so I feel you
Dadzilla7543
Going through it now. She has BPD and I think that's part of the problem. She cheated constantly
srpdxorusa
It would have been easier if he had died. The pain knowing he was alive and could come back and wasn't was worse than hell. Grief for years
AmberosiaL
That sucks @OP. Your pain is valid. It doesnt matter that someone is going worse and don't let other's situations being worse than yours 1/
AmberosiaL
Make you feel like you arent entitled to hurt. You'll get there. It's so hard to see an end when you are in it. But stick in there and a 2/
AmberosiaL
Day will come when you will smile again and feel joy, no matter how small, wait for those little moments. Lots of love 3/
EricInTN
I'm available to talk
TreasonousCheeto
The hardest part of mine was the fact that the person I typically leaned on most when I was hurting was the one person I couldn’t go to.
Dadzilla7543
I feel this to my core
enchillita
Agreed. When you see your SO as your best friend, it's really hard. Esp if they dont see you as anything at all. Hope you're better now.
TreasonousCheeto
Happily remarried and all is well. It was for the best and I’m stronger for it.
enchillita
I'm really glad to hear that you found the right person. It gives me hope.
TreasonousCheeto
The experience led to some realizations and lessons learned. I was complete BEFORE I met her, I was complete when she left. 1/2
TreasonousCheeto
Although I I am happily remarried, I will never forget that I am enough all by myself.
HerbyHuia
@OP I went through a tough divorce and the world felt like a dark place to me in that time. It's so hard to know it at the time, but 1/
HerbyHuia
Things will get better. There will be light at the end of the tunnel. You will find happiness again, but it might take a while. Until then2/
HerbyHuia
Helped me get back to enjoying life and moving forward. Wishing you strength and happiness @OP. Hang in there! 4/4
HerbyHuia
Be strong for yourself and your kids. Distract yourself with friends. Pick up a hobby. Maybe learn a new language. Doing these things 3/
CorndogHead
Divorce does suck. I think it's better to be alone than unwanted.
NeatoVeto
mightymountain
Very true. I was stuck on my ex until I got confirmation that he was unfaithful. I feel free now and open to healing the damage he did.
enchillita
Couldn't agree more, it's better to be alone than with somebody that makes you feel like you're alone
Punk1209
Or actively (or worse, passive aggressively) hating you. Mental illness sucks, OP but you got this.
SleeperSix
I wasn't unwanted in my first marriage, I was useful. A means to an end. Doubt there was any genuine affection, that's what hurt the most.
Dadzilla7543
I'm sorry.....
ThisFireGrowsHigher
I'll pass on some advice I got while going through my own divorce many moons ago...
ThisFireGrowsHigher
Pigs will eat...anything.
brattius
This.... Everyday for 2 years, this is what I thought, it put the relationship and my actions into perspective. Helped me gain confidence
carshateme
This
MadameDex
A wise woman helped me a lot during my divorce when she asked "Do you really want to be with someone who doesn't want you?"
emmalilly
Loneliest I’ve ever been was during my first marriage. Definitely better to be alone than with someone, and lonely
DickPicEnthusiast
Like the saying goes, it's better to be alone than in bad company.
makingmywaydowntownsteppedinglassbleedingfastandimdeadnowbanana
hey @OP, currently going through the same thing and it is the worst. communication is a rollercoaster, apparently it gets better. hang in!
peachess2
Sometimes it's both even though your partner is digging an elbow into your arm that's definitely on your side of the bed.
Katz00
So agreed.
IDontPoopMyPantsEverydayPunk
I never thought of it that way and it weirdly helps so thank you
CorndogHead
No problem! Happy to help. Sorry i can't help more.
CaffeinatedNecromancer
This is true. I don't like being single & twice divorced, but I'm in a much healthier place mentally, value myself & won't tolerate the 1/2
CaffeinatedNecromancer
same treatment. It's also better for kids to grow up with 2 parents that are not trying to make it work for them. Focus on the kids needs
DickPicEnthusiast
Sometimes life has to drag us out of a bad situation like a sullen child. One day you'll look back at this like a blessing, and be thankful.
boop66
I'm deliberately reframing from "Happened TO me" to "Happened FOR me"; e.g. her infidelity cured me of naivety, now I know I deserve better.
DickPicEnthusiast
Things have a tendency to work out when you stop fighting and go with the flow. Some things are worth fighting for, others don't.
DiedAndHauntingImgur
It only helps me briefly
DiedAndHauntingImgur
She isn’t alone or unwanted...
DickPicEnthusiast
You have to get outside once in a while and meet people to be wanted and have company. It's inconvenient, I know.
Hellotu30
Just buried my daughter and trust me it's harder than divorce
Dadzilla7543
I'm so sorry. So very sorry. I love you. We all do
CarlottaVonSprockett
It’s not a competition. I’m sorry for your loss. OP is entitled to feel pain too.
ItsTanis
Rude! Don't ever compare hardships and make someone feel less for feeling the way they do.
Bmxrider70763
Way to minimize other people's suffering! Just bc you have it bad doesn't make anyone else's troubles less bad. It's all relative.
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ItsTanis
Telling someone that "it could be worse" is a very horrible way to try and console people. Just... consider it next time you comment
stxtfr
What?!? Literally just countering the meme. Give them both a break during their suffering
IDontPoopMyPantsEverydayPunk
I am so sorry. I dont mean to make light of much more serious griefs.
tepidreindeer
I’ve done both. They’re both hard. Different, but hard. Neither is the end, time helps heal both types of wounds. You’ll get through it.
Hellotu30
Don't be sorry no need for that.
TheRealGeorgeMcfly
There's always someone who has it worse. That doesn't mean your pain is invalid.
Hellotu30
I feel your grief trust me and you also have no reason to be sorry u didn't do anything.
Bmxrider70763
Dont feel bad for this post. That guy sucks for trying to minimize your feelings.
freckledkink
Hey, I've gone through a horrible divorce and buried my child. The are both heart wrenching. While one is comparatively worse, what you're
freckledkink
Going through now, with your mental health problems is a lot to deal with, and don't let anyone let you feel like you shouldn't mourn the
freckledkink
Loss of your marriage. It is like someone has died, but they're right there where you can see them all the time, only the love is gone. >>
freckledkink
Grieving over a marriage is serious, a lifelong commitment was broken. Just like with a death, as long as you can move forward with your
freckledkink
Oh, and you're not making light of more serious griefs. Losing a child puts people in a dark place (I was in one for a long time), so don't
freckledkink
Take that person's comment personally. I told a cancer kid's mom all the horrible things people would say to comfort her when her kid died
freckledkink
When I went to the hospital for hurting myself a couple of weeks after my son died. I feel really shitty about it now. (My son was autistic,
freckledkink
So people told me he was better off, etc)
Oteneo
different types of pain, I would have rather died than get a divorce. losing a loved one is clean pain, divorce is always dirty.
Oteneo
it took me about three years before i could wake up in the morning and not just want to die from the pain. i eventually learned ways to
Oteneo
cope with the hurt and stress other than slowly killing myself putting toxic shit in my body. mental illness is really tough, im so sorry.
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