WTF ?

I'm trying not to break down for the 4th time today

I was talking to my dad and his gf earlier this year and they've been trying to get me to move across state with them in order to be able to throw myself into my art and truly get a chance to be an artist without being a financial burden (I've been unemployed for about 1.5 years despite my best efforts).

I get a job rejection from Walmart, which was the final straw. I accept their offer to come up here and work on art and meet local artists they know to get my career rolling. They even offer me a job at their non-profit/thrift store (also said they'd pay me an hourly rate similar to what I'd be able to make on instacart - my original job plan).

I move up here with all my computer stuff, all my art stuff, good chunk of my wardrobe, etc.

I'm told the day that I'm driving up they have a possible job lined up for me at their favorite cbd store...which I was excited for at first but I have a lot of commitments to my friends/family/partner that have been in the works for over a year and I'm worried that requesting so many days off (a wedding, a 75th birthday celebration for my grandma, a camping trip we've already put money into, and an MCR concert that was a gift for my sister and I from her husband).

I get here and I'm told that I'll be expected to work part time for whatever they need me at the store. They will not be paying me, as originally promised.

I explained my previous commitments and was told that if I choose those over picking up this part time job then I'm an immature child and they can't respect me as an adult.

I asked about the art situation. I said the chance to throw myself into my art uninterrupted and guilt free was what made me accept the offer and they said that the same thing...that they couldn't respect me as an adult and that I need to grow up and enter the real world.

I had a full time 9-5 job, got fired bc of inner politics and standing up for my personal value as a worker (they expected me to take on the responsibilities of 2 other schools on top of my own school without any increase in pay or vacation time or anything, I respectfully declined the additional work out of my job description and they fired me 2 weeks later saying I was a bad worker).

I know what the fucking real world is. I've been unemployed or in and out of seasonal employment for a year and a half.

Anyways, I get here and my car transmission went out, so now I'm stuck for who knows how long...because who knows how much that shit is going to cost me.

I'm lost. I'm tired of the conditional love and the lies. I came so close to self harming again today. I haven't done it since my suicide attempt 4 years ago and I almost had the knife in my fucking hand.

I dont know what to do. I didn't expect to survive to this age. I'm tired of being lied to and gaslit by my dad who's been abusive my whole life - he's been going to therapy and the last few visits showed progress...but now?

Oh and all of this is 2 days after I buried my pet hen, after spending a week trying to nurse her back to health.

What the fuck???

TLDR; I was told I'd be given a paying job and the time and space to work on my career as an artist. But upon accepting and moving I'm now expected to work without pay, find another job, and put my art on the back burner or I'm not an adult worthy of respect

Some memes, cat tax, and tiddy mouspad tax