algoritham
25043
567
8
Aug 6, 2025 6:46 AM
algoritham
25043
567
8
Skuggen
Ok, but the flowers are coming out of his tip, right?
BearPerson
That's a different hospital appointment.
CloseupCaptionReaction
Only the tip
Munchman347
Guy was so giddy about leaving Ohio he lost control...
TicoGuy
I had a Dominoes driver have a flat tire less than a half mile from my house, they had a spare but no jack. I just drove out did a quick tire change and grabbed my pizza. It was a good Saturday.
delecti
Honestly I'd almost believe this, but the "send flowers to your dasher's hospital room" addition is too implausible. Just logistically, if the food is still at the car, the dasher isn't at the hospital yet. Also it'd be hard for DoorDash to know their hospital room.
OnlyOneArman
The food is in the car, left behind by the ambulance. The "send flowers" link is just to increase your tip.
TheSolarTurtle
Send flowers LOL. 'Gives us an extra 20 bucks' (driver will get nothing)
SteelKnight
The reason this is obviously not real is that door dash would never introduce an app update that provides benefits for their riders/drivers no matter how immaterial, even if the onus is on the consumer to provide that benefit
duktayp
"dude, where's my garlic butter?" I yell at the stretcher while I'm picking up my pasta off the street
MisterLemons
My diet doctor kelp? How am I supposed to eat this without my DRINK!?
HannibalHoseth
“NO NAPKINS?!! NO TIP!”
Vter3
Looking at the pasta: "I hope that's marinara."
thedarkcanuck
And then you remember you ordered Alfredo
Vortexhelios320
"Oh, look! Extra meat balls!"
rshini
this would happen, I've seen customers try to step over collapsed employees or refusing to evacuate when the store's filling up with smoke.
wuggles23
Just one instance off the top of my head from when I worked at dominos, was when during a bad storm the power went out but people still came in trying to order. Like sure, let me just get a fire going and I'll cook it right up. Or someone ordering Immediately after a robbery. And I definitely had someone get mad about their order needing to be remade cause a driver got into an accident.
EnjoyingMyself
Amazon famously told its employees to step over another employees body and keep working.
Raxiel
I think accidentally a word.
MCpeepantz
Ah, Portsmouth. What a wonderful town on the way to Columbus. Still remember coming to a stop around Noon, and watching a girl throw chunks of vomit....
CocaineAndSelfPleasure
Is it not Cinci?
UncleRat
I think you mean she vomited chunks; otherwise, her hands would get messy. But I wasn't there, so I really shouldn't judge what you said.
HulaJesus
I mean knowing the area both are equally possible.
RummageSaleBubbler
Driver failed at step 1.
Nightcaste
Look at the map. They were trying.
RummageSaleBubbler
blueKD
jazmstr1
King's Island, Cedar Point.
WaterUnderTheRocketAppliances
Look kids, Big Ben... Parliament...
Blze001
Ah, the illusion that one can simply escape Ohio
itdweeb
I mean, there's a reason why so many astronauts are from Ohio.
MajMalfunction2
What made you want to enter the space program?
To get as far away from Ohio as humanly possible.
bikergeek6249
and the Wright Brothers
blairdavies350
I lost it at the flowers.
Y'all need to realize someone coded that. And to code it people needed to come up with requirements, design the screen, approve the language. A team of people spent a portion of their year automating flower delivery to injured food delivery people.
SorryThatUsernameIsUnavailableAgain
Which, even better, nobody probably ever uses!
epithymetic
Nah, someone photoshopped that
RummageSaleBubbler
JadeNB1729
Where is 0.3 away?
fumptrucker
There is no section marked "Enough".
Krossis
You're never safe from Ohio, you only have the illusion of safety
PanNonOpticon
Needs: "What's ohio?"
UniquenessReviewed
Statistically delivery drivers are one of the most dangerous jobs. More cops are killed in auto collisions than by criminals
Unitedite
According to what statistics?
haggerton
Delivery drivers tend to get into less dangerous chases than cops.
amoth
wait. how do the stats work. if the cops causing the accidents - shouldn't they count towards the people killed by criminals?
Xenarion
Cop stops someone to give a ticket. Cop gets out of their car. Other car zooms by and hit cop.
Malcondrion
The stat includes cops killed in solo accidents which are strikingly common. Source: I am a retired cop and was required to do training on this very subject every year.
RyanAndTheQuestForWorldDomination
Usually it’s is not the cops causing the accidents, maybe in the case of high speed chase collisions. But many accidents are caused by people hitting cops/cop cars that have pulled people over or when they are screening off accident areas on the road.
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
0.3 what away? Kilometers? Miles? Lightyears?
What3Birds
'away' is the unit.
fformulaa
Parsecs
vonsmallhausen
Rontgen... Not great, not terrible...
Mediocreclient
sir, the app can't measure any higher than 0.3 rontgen
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
Good, that is within safe limits!
breadedfishstrip
First one, then the other
vanderzee
fiddy
swagb98623
Minutes, honest! be patient
SkyVINS
football fields, duh
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
Damn, I was hoping for washing machines!
davisboy42
Kentucky, so it's miles, but as the crow flies
MrLowbob
potatoes
RansomElwin
barnwolf
0.3 speed
DoorTable
meters
chormin
0.3 deliberies
cosonfused
rods.
seheim
The unit is right there. 0.3 away. Just do the conversion to your preferred unit like the rest of us.
IhopeyougetstageIIIcoloncancer
Rather than use metric, the US has simply decided to not use ANY units. All measurements are now unitless scalars.
JadeNB1729
It may sound radical, but we've been doing it successfully for over 200.
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
200 what??? https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1MzVvN2p5YzJna3N2Y3J3eTc2ZGRnaWdpbTlzdGtqajd0dHZtcTJsNSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/3ohs7PXpe3try4q9yM/200w.webp
dragonflyy69
It's yards. He crashed into your front door and is now about a foot away from you.
algoritham
Yes.
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
Thanks for confirming!
lovingspace
0.2 in terrestrial miles and 0.1 in nautical miles, because of the river.
yesdearmetoo
Bananas
emu314159127001
Smiles
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1c2IyNTRpejhwcnd1aWd6cWZhMTdkYTJoZDljdmlmbm9yaXpsYXg2OSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/eruVMzXlb70oo/200w.webp
MrListerTheFirst
This is America, so probably something silly like washing machines.
seheim
It literally says right there: 0.3 away.
RummageSaleBubbler
By the pic... states.
CocaineAndSelfPleasure
Cincinnati
b01000100
Honestly, that part of Ohio might as well just be Kentucky.
Aksuuuh
0.3 states. Damn that's far.
squillis
In the west, sure, but less so in the north-east
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
Maybe they mean quantum states? Not far at all then!
Aksuuuh
.3 states of depression. So they're a little sad but can still carry on with the delivery.
SterlingArcherSecretAgent
Solid guess!