Having an attack tonight. It helps to write.

Apr 18, 2024 12:36 AM

throwaway2672

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I’m 35, and was in the Iraq war. I was hit 3 times, and have suffered PTSD attacks since

If you can imagine losing control of your body, and feeling like you just went over the top of a roller coaster, and your stomach drops for no reason at all.

Then the muscles get tense. I’ve pulled multiple muscles in my rips and sides from thinking I was about to get hit again, and my body reacts. I’ve been diagnosed with somatic flashbacks, which means my body thinks it’s in Iraq right before I got hit, but my mind is here. Kind of like muscle memory.

Then the feeling like I’m about to be hit, and it’s all over. I’m going to die and there is nothing that anyone can do. I focus to try to ‘be in the moment’ but this is a physical reaction.

My therapists have told me that this is a physical thing as far as my body and neurons firing. It makes me sick and I cry almost every night to try to release this energy. I was literally hit and I can’t just make that go away.

I was on benzos for years but they stopped working. I switched to cannabis but that’s not doing much except giving me anxiety now. I feel like I can’t go much further, but I have my kids to think about.

Then I wake up tomorrow with at least 3-4 PTSD attacks a day. I’m crying right now while reading this.

I feel like my nation has abandoned me. I feel like my family and friends have abandoned me. I am so alone.

Thanks for reading. I hope typing this out gives me sleep.

ptsd

combat

veteran

I'm saving your story so I can pass it on to my kids when they get older and help them understand those pains. You're not alone. I have my own panic attacks on occassion, nothing like what you have, and I still search for what to do when it happens.

1 year ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Have a good friend have the same experience with Benzos and then cannabis. Hes on some other meds now but he told me what really helped was 1- doing long walks with his 2 doggos (like 2 hours long cause long and low effort exercise produces diff stuff in the blood than short intense workouts. 2- naps in the afternoon He was really adamant about the naps, he said he did 45 mins in his truck every day and it was like a reset. But hey, talk to your doctors

1 year ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

There is a Veterans line not associated with the VA. It’s staffed by veterans for veterans. tel:18664298387

1 year ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Have you tried shrooms, it helped me

1 year ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Oh, that sucks, hang in. Have you considered support groups?

1 year ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I could never know what you’re going through and really hoping you can find some relief. If you are trying cannabis, please make sure to pay attention to the strain. In my experience, the Indica is what really calms and sativa definitely makes me paranoid….

1 year ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I hope you get some rest Battle.

Just know, you are a very small percentage of 1%.

So few can say they have lived after this type of trauma.

I know I admire you.

-A nobody Squirrel (Army)

1 year ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

A lot of states now are doing guided therapy sessions incorporating either psilocybin mushrooms, mdma, or ketamine for treatment resistant depression, PTSD, and also I think CPTSD. Worth a shot, my rec would be mushrooms, to break the bad neural pathways, and buld new healthy ones. But anything is worth trying to stay around for your kids.

1 year ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Also check out EMDR therapy. I know a vet personally who says EMDR changed his life.

1 year ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hang in there. Try to spend all your brain focusing on something good that you have or had.

1 year ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 1

1 year ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1