How to defend yourself from a kappa

If you’re ever around rivers in Japan, you should always be weary of the kappa, a kind of water imp from Japanese mythology. If they get the chance, they’ll drag you into the river and then once you’ve drowned, they’ll consume your soul by pulling it out through your ass.

But there’s a sure-fire defense from kappa attack! You see, they’re particularly adapt at farting, but while they can give it, they can’t take it. So if you’re ever attacked, farting at them will send them packing! The more you know!