Iblamemyparentstoo
122563
1331
55
He's a little older and wants to get married, I just bought my first house and I'm not ready for marriage or a commitment of that magnitude.
Oct 15, 2022 1:55 PM
Iblamemyparentstoo
122563
1331
55
He's a little older and wants to get married, I just bought my first house and I'm not ready for marriage or a commitment of that magnitude.
CoarseAndSalty
I want to be sympathetic, breaking up sucks, but this is why you knew you shouldn't date someone where you work.
RealityIsOftenDisappointing
The heart lies to protect itself. You did good. Go date someone new. Gotta prove to yourself that old bf is replaceable.
disposabledom
I have dated co-workers and seeing them every day after the breakup was a fucking nightmare. I'm sorry OP. I hope he transfers. And soon.
v3rtabreaker
Good on both of you. Sucks, but it sounds like you are not ready to take the same path is he ready to take.
ExecutiveProducerWolfDyck
Find a new job in another city, change your name, assassinate putin,.
Iblamemyparentstoo
ATacoWalksIntoABar
Best way to get over someone is to get under someone else ?♀️?
Iblamemyparentstoo
RadioFloyd
House, marriage, kids, housework, marriage crumbles, kids become indifferent, lose house, join a cult. The American Dream.
trigonman3
If the cult takes care of my living expenses, I'm interested in hearing more...
Crashdlanding
Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable. But brains can be just as dumb.
Lachwen
Think of it like getting a flu shot. It can make you feel shitty for a day or two, but spares you greater suffering down the line. This 1/
Lachwen
situation sucks in the moment, but it's inoculating you against greater heartache in the future. Still sucks to go through though. 2/
Lachwen
Be gentle with yourself while you recover. 3/3
Iblamemyparentstoo
Thank you that is excellent advice.
gadaboutpoet
Even if the choice is yours and it’s a good and healthy one, you will still grieve. That is also good and healthy. It is still a loss.
MasterMookie
"What if I want a house kid and marriage?" It will pass you just want different things. Dont doubt yourself.
Boatsntoes
You took a shot. I am getting married to a co worker soon and the risk worked out for us.
Dociousaliexpilisticfragicalirepus
I feel your pain divorcing my husband of 22 years. Still living together.
geruhn
I always find ending a relationship harder than being on the receiving end. Because most times you end up second guessing yourself
betterave
Yeah, the body speaks loudly. Doesn’t mean it’s right, but it can sure be bothersome.
knotch2
Well. I'm older now. We all want different things. But if you love him enough to want to be with him, but not marry him. You did good..
Nunyajonesinc
It'll be ok, you were honest with yourself, but it will take time to adjust
WeberQs
Good on you for knowing what you want and then doing it! Stay strong!
notyourpartner
Marriage is an easy decision if it's the right person. Although you aren't guaranteed to find the right person. Do what feels right...
notyourpartner
And live with the consequences. At least if you're still friends and single sexy time isn't ruled out.
MikeReese9
The heart is treacherous; who can know it?
Greenwaxy
As a married homeowner: buying your first house was a bigger commitment than a marriage.
bamcobra
A bit OT, but as an old person, that is a somewhat recent socioeconomic development.
trigonman3
Breaking up with a house is less complicated than breaking up with a spouse.
dgcayer
I've been in the same exact situation. The bright side is you see that person so often that it actually helps you get over them faster :)
Larktonguesinadicecup
Uh... no?
Iblamemyparentstoo
Here's to hoping you're right! Thank you
Hopefulgirl1
veteransgrow
My ex and I broke up 2 months ago. Toxic relationship, horrible. She came back into town to move her stuff. We reconnected and had a great
veteransgrow
And had a great week. No fighting just talked about a lot. The spark was back but we both agreed that our relationship was unhealthy and we
veteransgrow
Both need therapy and time apart. Sometimes it’s just not the right time. And you gotta move on, it’s tough, it horrible, it feels like shit
everythingzed
Be sure if it’s Him you’re missing, or Someone. The heart is often mistaken in this.
expectnothingstillletdown
it's not even about this. it's about the fact that your emotions are chemicals and you can't change them as easily as you think.
WinterSparkles
It’s ok to not want to share that space right now. You met a milestone and want to enjoy having your own place before allowing someone else
WinterSparkles
To come into it before you’re ready to share it. There are commitments you’d have to oblige to when you marry someone. Chore plans/2
WinterSparkles
1:1 plans, and days where you just want to do your own thing. Marrying someone is a step to make when you know you want to talk about/3
WinterSparkles
Sharing finances, chores, healthcare, sex life, and knowing this is the one person that can ruin you or make you feel like the only one/4
WinterSparkles
They will want to share their forever with.
WeatherWiz
First, Ignore the douche troll commenting and gaslighting you. It’ll hurt at first, but eventually it gets better! ❤️
WeatherWiz
Don’t feel like you need to be rushed into anything. You do you! Don’t let someone make you think it’s your fault.
Iblamemyparentstoo
Thank you
Iblamemyparentstoo
Thank you
biffabiffitosparkito
Maybe your heart is right? See how it goes, it would be stupid to lose the right person over a matter of artificial pressure of goals ?
Iblamemyparentstoo
Thank you! Exactly
biffabiffitosparkito
OP if you both love each other just adjust both your goals and expectation but dont lose the love.If not love- then break up was right,relax
Iblamemyparentstoo
I didn't realize that not being ready to marry was such a terrible decision but people sure have some strong opinions, I feel even worse now
Iblamemyparentstoo
that I'm being selfish, but I can't get married if I'm not ready. ?
Testiculees2
Never rush marriage...it has to be mutual or else it becomes one sided and resentful.
Sideways02
I've learned that sometimes if things are meant to be, then everything will turn out okay.
Haemaelaeinen
Yrah in hindsight after ovet 10yrs of marriage and 2 kids I shouldn't have married the woman who cheated and divorced me this September.
Haemaelaeinen
You have still a lot going on, you did the right thing. I just hope my (ex)wife did the same. I fool love her still, broke my heart badly.
Iblamemyparentstoo
That's awful, I'm so sorry that happened to you I love him madly too but wasn't going to force him to wait on me, had to let go.
kitamuramiike
To be honest, I don't understand the rush. Why not wait? Unless the legality is needed for something.
Haemaelaeinen
Yeah, my wife got bored of me and got another guy and just didn't want to have me anynore. Sucks for our kids, she was quite selfish.
Iblamemyparentstoo
Damn, you seem like a really great guy any woman would be lucky to have, hope you find one that treats you the way you deserve
Haemaelaeinen
No rush to relationship, TBH. Have to find myself, I've lost myself to "dad role". I was dad first and lost all hobbies etc
Haemaelaeinen
But thanks. You made my day <3
dudehiemer
Soooo, you're single?
Iblamemyparentstoo
?
wadatahmydamie
Single and ready to Pringle. *cracks open two potato tubes and dumps them into my mouth like Steve Austin*
CitizenClam
WHAT?
Iblamemyparentstoo
I really am enjoying these comments right now, thank you
wadatahmydamie
For real, the best “advice” I could offer is to read A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore. It’s a funny as hell book about grief
Iblamemyparentstoo
I could really use something to take my mind off things, thanks you've been very kind.
rcgom
what you're experiencing now is one of the reasons to not date coworkers, but now you gotta push on through. chin up, you can do it
TheSongofRiver
My ex is my coworker. We still talk, have game nights, I still go to him for info. Just cause we aint a couple, doesnt mean we aint friends
Bystandr
The saying goes : "Dont shit where you eat"
dannowhammo
In this case it's "don't dip your pen in the company ink".
aFadingMemory
It's a reason but for many people work is the most likely place to form a romantic relationship. It can be okay, and I'm sure it will be.
RoyalWithChz
I still really stress not to date coworkers. I cannot imagine being forced to see a recent ex every day.
RoyalWithChz
Well, I have slept with coworkers at one of the bars I tended at and that still blew up. Some got really jealous and it killed the vibes
aFadingMemory
I probably wouldn't date someone on my team, but working in an office I don't see most people unless I intend to. I have waited to go out
aFadingMemory
with someone until we weren't sitting right next to each other anymore.
nero4ty2
It can work, I met both of my wives at work, 1 was a bad idea, other was the luckiest thing to ever happen to me
Iblamemyparentstoo
Thanks
Piccolini
I dont know what's worse. Your story, or mine, where he went on to stalk me, call my (work) friends to see where I was.. you got this! 1/2
Piccolini
But, IME, love conquers all. It can be the best thing, or the worst. Know what you want, but also what you need. Commitment dsnt nd 2b scary
Iblamemyparentstoo
That's horrible, sorry you had to go through that. We still talk, the love is still there Im just not ready to marry and I don't want to
Iblamemyparentstoo
keep him from maybe finding someone who is, but trust me I secretly don't want him too, this was the hardest thing I've ever done
ChewyTheWookie
I have learned and forgotten the "Worlds Collide" lesson so many times
lighterletter
I'm going through something very similar on the guy's side. 4 years, been months, it's devastating, I miss doing everything with her ??
Iblamemyparentstoo
Me too ?
lighterletter
It's going to be okay. Just remind yourself that you have to be your best friend and do good things for you. It'll help you feel better.
Iblamemyparentstoo
Thank you
xj4low
The head can be easily changed. The heart is much more stubborn. Don't fall for it because it is not rational.
shuttlecockinakumquat
Hearts pump blood. They don't have anything to do with feelings.
CelticBlacksmith
You must give the best relationship advice
gloriaxstanley
Is this a line from frozen? Either way it’s good advice
xj4low
It's a variation on it. Couldn't remember the exact quote. Been a few years since I've seen it but I've got a weird mind for remembering.
RickTheMarshallSelke
I personally don't believe in setting boundaries on who you can/can't be in a relationship with. Love is love. No point in telling yourself>
RickTheMarshallSelke
"No" if it's what you think will make you happy. No break up is easy. And dating is always risky. Do what makes you happy >
RickTheMarshallSelke
and if it doesn't work out, know that you aren't alone.
RickTheMarshallSelke
And I swear to our nonexistent God, if you cry "what about incest?!" I'm muting you. Not what I'm talking about.
Iblamemyparentstoo
Thank you, that last part..lol
MrStealUrChange
I always had an issue with people so against dating coworkers...as if any other relationship would be problem free.
battery1979
It's that you still have to deal with them if things don't work out vs a clean break.
MrStealUrChange
That's a possibility sure. Why would that make it not worth the risk?
battery1979
Because they're that many degrees closer to you if they decide to make your life a living hell. They could fuck up your career.
rcgom
all the problems of any other relationship with added problems like op's, your job at risk, etc.
MrStealUrChange
Potential problems not problems. No relationship is the same. It could also solve problems could it not? Example : I don't see you enough
MrStealUrChange
To be fair if you go into a relationship and just focus on all the things that could go wrong are you really serious? There isn't a couple
MrStealUrChange
Alive that doesn't have obstacles to overcome but it's still worth trying if there's a genuine connection. Can it be a bit more complicated?
MrStealUrChange
Sure it can! Can it still become the best decision you ever made? Absolutely. Don't let "potential problems" stop you from trying
Iblamemyparentstoo
He's the maintenance supervisor I hardly see him at work, it wasn't an issue
MarigoldRound
but you stated you see him everyday tho
Iblamemyparentstoo
Yeah, walking into work, occasionally when he's walking through the plant or working on machines, we don't work side by side