Jbelkin
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https://www.tiktok.com/@simplyloveddoula/video/7516703813042998584
Jun 28, 2025 2:31 PM
Jbelkin
390820
612
16
https://www.tiktok.com/@simplyloveddoula/video/7516703813042998584
LanceSackless
Its just wild to me how far a cervix can dilate past comfortable. The same person can not enjoy a dick bc its too fat but also push an entire fuckin newborn thru the thing. Crazy stuff the ol body
oobidoobscoobydoobybenubi
I totally cheated and had both babies via c section. Baby #1 tried to kill me so she was removed 6 weeks early. Doctors didn't want baby #2 to kill me so he had a designated removal date.
AmalieTheDane
The body is incredible. Didn't get to have meditation spring birth because how fast it went but wow I felt strong.
SPQAAE
Why did our craniums have to get so big! Protohumans had it so easy, they could just plop them out on the move practically. Kinda a trade off for having to worry about being eaten and all.
AtlantisTheLostEmpire
#NescaféBaby
astronomygeek7
Percolating to perfection
Zobbie
At what number do they bring out the scissors?
Trackon
"Nothing small about that baby." The lines from the birthing video they showed our Gr. 10 biology class. It lives in my head rent-free.
MelJamKat
I've gone from battery to nescafe 4 times. I love my kids but holy hell is it an uncomfortable journey
joechristo
Ok so what is the purple ring thing demonstrating the size?
TripleDane
If if she is dilated to a summer sausage but not pregnant... (yes i know it does not go in the cervix)
Captainplanetmotherfucker
Women are fucking hardcore.
OtterlyMagnificent
...me sitting here in utter horror at the IDEA of shoving a coffee can out...
metricman67
Thanks!
Not hungry anymore!!
Higure
Fun fact: the distance between the tip of the index finger and of the middle finger on an average female hand if spread out in the widest ✌️ they can make is about 10cm. That's a handy reference they often use to check if dilation is at maximum.
rebelft
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1bnlrZm5lMXJzdXViejlpNzdlZDBsM2w4NGNqYzBmdnF3emp6NDJldCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/hvT5KWdFkUOklHCxXk/200w.webp
Raikupath
Olive garden isn't italian, it's American pretending to be italian while making it worse as they always do with every food they americanise.
ThoseRulesArentReal
https://media1.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTY1YjkxZmJlaXF0cmd0ZjRtbTN0a2R1MXY2ZTd5b3V6cTJ3bzN4c24ybmNucWMxZCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/U7isUDZ6VPWJW/giphy.mp4
NineByNine
they learned it from us brits.
bekindtoanimals
Nope
TrumpGarglesHorseSemen
So weird to think I've trained my uh....my other hole....to open up 4" or 10cm +/-a few mm for gigantic toys (after a good clean out.
So I can relate to the immense stretch I guess? And instead of something going out one way only, I get things pushed in, held, then pulled out, and then ramrodded back in and out for 30 minutes to an hour.
Lol for some reason I thought the dilation for pregnancy was way bigger.
vintagebroad
60 years ago I told my dr, knock me the fuck out and it being the 60’s he did exactly that Absolutely no memory of giving birth and I don’t regret it one bit
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
They found that was really bad for recovery though, which is why it's no longer an option.
MsAmyMack
I had my first 100% natural, it was pretty traumatic but 11 years later I was giving birth again and was going to give natural another go, I don't think I made it a hour in before I asked for an epi. The nurse was like, there is no reason to suffer, there is nothing to prove, and she was right. If I ever did it it again (I absolutely won't) I'd get an epi out of the gate. Young me was crazy brave and strong.
Yellowchopsticks
If you dilate to 11, it's one louder.
4vie
... What is louder? :P
Kotarisu
The father's screams as the mother crushes his hand and/or other body parts.
4vie
Hey, ideally they agreed on it, so in a way they both have each other to blame for the respective pain :P
blarkk
If you have subtitles that highlight the individual words you get a downvote. Sorry, I don't make the rules.
Sheldonian
You're literally making up that rule
HeWhoMustNotBeBlamed
It's a good rule, though.
LittleChickadee
I still can't believe our bodies open up to 10cm! My lady bits hurt just looking at the 7-10 cm rings
Poopoopeepeevagina
I bet it's not that bad
CatskinnerKeen
/s!!! YOU FORGOT THE /S!!!
Poopoopeepeevagina
I think I assumed people would get it was a joke. Oh well...
straha242
JacktheKind
...so up to the summer sausage you're good?
I get it... it does sounds very romantic and currently seasonal.
WagonOfSolidMonekys
7-10? i twitched when i saw the 5 one. granted im a dude so i cant really know much about it... but still.
Iwantcutedogs
Just so you are aware: A raccoon can fit through a hole that is 10 cm in diameter. It is a little known fact that adult raccoons can fit through an opening as small as 3" to 4" in diameter, which is approximately 7.6 cm to 10.2 cm.
The general rule of thumb is that if a raccoon's head can fit through a hole, then the rest of their body can fit through as well.
pareidoliaperson
My mouth can't even do that.
hiyesthisissatan
I just had a baby 5 says agao a d I can tell you with confidence AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBBHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGHHHHHHHHGHHGHGGHGHHGJGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
wizardOTC
Congratulations on the newborn. Wife healed up in about 2 weeks where she could “comfortably” walk around, other things took a lot more time. Everyone is different though! Congratulations again :)
minizeries
What unnerved me most was that feeling of my insides jiggling around when I walked, as they slowly worked their way back into pre-pregnancy locations. SLOSHING.
tg2222222
A friend of a friend got pregnant 2 days after giving birth. Madness.
hiyesthisissatan
How? How could she even be ovulating?
wizardOTC
That poor, poor lady (assuming vaginal delivery). And if c section wtf too! Both are NOT great for the poor women involved.
RinzeAndRepeat
A baby's head is still larger, so if you want to be kind to your child you just continue on for a bit more, let's say 15 would be good for all involved
secondgoaround
It goes back to normal. It’s what we’re made to do. Somehow it just works. (But yeah, it hurts. The labor, the “ring of fire”, but relief when that damn baby out)
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
Like the best poop you've ever had in your life, lol. I can still remember the feeling from both of mine.
secondgoaround
It is oddly like that, yes.
LateNightBunnyParty
In 2005, I went to my midwife feeling like I was in labor, and was told I was only dilated to a 1 1/2 and to go back home. An hour and a half later, my water broke and I had to have an ambulance pick me up because I had the urge to push and didn't wanna risk giving birth in a sedan. I finally gave birth in an exam room less than 20 minutes after arriving to the ER. She wanted OUT.
TheHappyHermit
the last time I had Taco Bell, my ass was dilated to 10... and it burned
LordLucyTheSecond
Something something bad dragon...
jenw
BD tips don't go in the cervix tho. It's not the vaginal opening that dialates, it's the cervical opening (that lil bumb/knob inside the vagina)
Foramsorpms
Really just curious, what about those super big ones lilijunex uses? It makes a pop at some point in her videos
SandyTentaclez
You learn the difference in all of their glories here extremely fast if you ever had a boyfriend that... has a certain reach. Believe me.
jenw
You'll also learn that your cervix moves around on there and sits high or low depending on where you are in your cycle. And if you're blessed with a tilted uterus like me, it's even more unpredictable.
Beelsebooob
Ohhhh, look at this girl showing off with her boyfriend who's longer than 3".
Foramsorpms
Still trying to figure that one out. The guides online aren't helping very much :://
RyxZeven
Half of me wishes I could get pregnant. The other half is thankful I wasn't born with the parts necessary to get pregnant cause holy fuck. Serious props to all mothers.
OtterlyMagnificent
...same same...
TripleDane
My first wife hated the pregnancy more than the birth... I'm not sure why. Because OMG that does not look pleasant, respects to all mothers.
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
Pregnancy goes on *way* longer. And for me, both my babies were gigantic and it was extremely uncomfortable. For the second I was in pain for the whole pregnancy. And for both, the skin over my breastbone was burning and felt like it would rip, it was pulled so tight. The birth is a few hours. The pregnancy is nine months. A sprint vs a marathon.
mixiekins
unless you get induced and your uterus decides to yeet the everliving fuck out of your baby at 8cm like my second did. that, and the first kid both (against my wishes) ended up being without a single modicum of painkiller whatsoever. you don't want to know that kind of pain. whenever i try to gently urge my friends who are seriously considering having kids, this is what i want them to understand that they're signing up for; we have some of the worst maternal mortality rates of civilized himanity
l8rrose
I feel this, my epidural was inserted late and I quickly bypassed the setting (anesthesiologist was also helping with an emergency surgery so wasn't on standby). It still makes my butthole and vagina clench whenever I think about it.
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
For me, I preferred the pain to the risks of the diuretic. Yes, I know they're low. But they happen to *someone*. I can't imagine making that choice and ending up paralyzed. Pain goes away. But then again, I've unfortunately had to deal with a lot of physical pain in my life and I knew I could handle it. Not everyone has that experience so I understand the fear.
drewgaluga
Welp this is all I'll be thinking about during my next Costco run
Chasmann
My first birthing class I went to with my wife, the nurse was saying “3 San-A-Meters…” I was very confused. WTF is a Sanameter? Maybe I should’ve read the literature before class? It took me a few seconds to realize she meant Centimeters. NO ONE CORRECTED HER!
LespritDeLescalier22
What about a whey baby?
NineByNine
gotta get those gains early, bro!!
snoffler
Im hoping to go into labour like NOW, i want this fkn baby out of me, but oh god I do not want the process of getting it out of me
Badgerbadgerson3
Stairs exist
Badgerbadgerson3
Shit. I'm devoted to not deleting messages, but I felt bad about that one the second I sent it.
Sorry.
MrsHowVeryDareYou
Best advice I heard was to get the epidural forms signed ahead of time, even if you have no intention of using them. If you wait until the pain is unbearable and you need to tap out, it can take an hour+ just to get the dude to come get your signature, and then another hour+ to get the shot.
l8rrose
So much this. My anesthesiologist was also helping with an emergency surgery. It took a bit to put it in and then I bypassed the setting he left it at. By the time he got back around to adjusting it, I was too far in labour for it to work.
earthlingextraordinaire
MrAndaren
So probably a little late for you Snoffler, but good news is that C-Sections are incredible low risk in modern times, the major downside is that it the scar tissue adds up, so you can only have 4-5 kids through C-Section before they cannot safely repeat the procedure. But that's plenty of kids. It's an "ask your doctor" thing, but it's becoming a lot more common.
SomeDetroitGuy
You can do this!!! Dont let anyone bully you off of your birthing plan. Make sure your partner has your back and let them know that if they dont, it is a very bad idea to upset a birthing mother actively birthing.
KittyKlimt6
Assuming there is a partner
hetriedtokillmewithaforklift
Give this baby air!
gaspodethewonderdog
Something people never talk about is how quickly you completely forget about the whole process, really, you just forget which is good I guess or there would be a lot of only children out there.
Lizzzardwizard
You’d be surprised how quickly your body takes over and does what it needs to. As soon as it’s over and you see the baby your brain forgets about what terrible awful it just went through. Plus, there’s drugs nowadays.
PurplePenguin87
As someone who had two different but both very difficult births, I call bullshit. Years later, I still remember how bad it was (and I had the drugs)
Ularsawa
Can confirm (as someone who had a traumatizing birth experience)
Lizzzardwizard
Ok I had a horrible pregnancy and birth and after the birth there was complications. I remember and shudder at the thought and don’t want another child. However, I don’t remember the depth of the pain of the actual birth and for most births are easy to forget for mommas. As my child’s pregnant neurologist told me “with how many things can possibly go wrong, it’s surprising how many things don’t. I’m not worried.”
youbetchamom
I thought this was something you're told to make you feel less scared of the whole ordeal, but it's true. I remember my mom saying that if women remembered the pain, they'd never have more kids. Also, the 1st is the most painful. It gets easier.
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
My second was worse even though my first was bigger. I think it's because I was induced. With my first I had nothing at all and it wasn't nearly as bad. In fact it didn't hurt till after, because I ended up needing an episiotomy and *that* was awful to heal from. The actual birth was nothing in comparison.
youbetchamom
Both of mine were natural and the first nearly killed me, literally. And stitching up the rip was an experience. They just sewed it up, nothing to dull the pain. Thanks a lot! And the healing, ya, couldn't really sit for a week. But I'd do it again if I weren't so old. I had my 2nd at 42. I'm done.
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
The stitching up is honestly worse than the childbirth, somehow. I couldn't sit after, I couldn't even hold my baby without pain, it felt like the stitches would rip. Had to do sitz baths for like 2 weeks to try to ease the pain. It was awful, honestly. But the baby literally wouldn't come out. i was pushing for over an hour but his head size was in the 99th percentile and he literally wouldn't fit. Still, yeah, I'd do it again if I wanted more kids. I had my second at 40, and decided that /1
MagicalScientist
There was something where women wrote down how much everything hurt and how horrible it was as it was happening, then asked later they said it was fine, until they read what they had written.
glovelyday
As a man who has witnessed births, Iknow many men have no fucking clue how strong and brave women are.
WaxedApple
I had a cold once, so I can relate
nation543
Same. Lately, I have been considering the experience of pushing another human being out of you... To push another human through your body and *everything* that entails is an aspect that men can only imagine going through. I was there for both of my sons, cut the cords, helped with the first bath, helped with first diapers...... She had a much different experience than I did.
Funny story, during our very very first diaper change on our own, he peed and it splattered all over his face. Poor guy.
Tigersterne
I'll be there in two months. No idea why my wife wants me in the room, but I'll be a good trooper
Zuegma197777
Best if ya do... Cuz you'll always hear about it if u didn't.
chittychittybangbanglovesustoo
Americans will do anything to avoid metric.
Sheldonian
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DrZaiusMinisterofScienceandChiefDefenderoftheFaith
Her accent tells me she's Canadian
Zuegma197777
Liberty Units. 🇺🇸
DrZaiusMinisterofScienceandChiefDefenderoftheFaith
Accent tells me she's Canadian
SomeDetroitGuy
Those are literally metric.
HeWhoMustNotBeBlamed
You and I know that, but there are no units on those rings, so Americans are kept in the dark. On purpose. So they don't need to expose themselves to the socialist metric system.
Ababybunny
Those are measured in vaginas!
SinStar87
cervices.
Remmon1
A) The Americans don't know that, if they did they wouldn't use them and B) This is a whole video about not using those rings. You know, anything to avoid metric.
Badprenup
The irony of saying "The Americans don't know that" in response to a person named SomeDetroitGuy explaining that it was metric
SinStar87
It's about visualizing what the measurements mean? How do you visualize an abstract concept like centimeter in your head? Mine is pinky tip for example.
TheWisdomCube
"Hurr use metrikz111" "we..we just did" "No u uzed it rong cuz visual repersenteten! U no use metricz" "we use and know both, actually" "hurr murken dumn" That's what you guys look like. I'd go into detail about how the vast majority of Americans have mastered both systems of measurement but I don't think you're at that level of reading comprehension yet. So instead *pat pat* You're a smart boy! yes you are!
scrumby
There's no way the vast majority of us have mastered both systems. But have a good working understanding of the different units and approximations for the most common amounts, yes.
youbetchamom
A) We do know that. I've never heard a nurse measure the dilation in inches. B) Ever heard of a visual comparison?
TheWisdomCube
Don't bother. They somehow think knowing only one system of measurement vs knowing both makes them smarter. *shrug*