CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
97819
2324
65
I'm hoping the hell that I'm going through today will be enough trauma to keep me away from junk food in 2020.
Jan 1, 2020 7:16 PM
CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
97819
2324
65
I'm hoping the hell that I'm going through today will be enough trauma to keep me away from junk food in 2020.
desertbeagles
had 5 days worth from christmas on. it was amazing. I didn't know that much vomit/feces could possibly exist. but there it was.
allPall
Great .. A clean and empty start
realdale
That'll teach you for trying to enjoy yourself
CaptainNoobing
Nature's way of resetting the system. Take advantage!
dough4you
Universe is trying to tell you something.
fredbloxx
had a dose or norovirus last august. lost 6.5kg [a stone]. haven't got it all back yet.
Jetsers
fantastic way to start the diet!
blackholevoid10011
Now you can't eat for a few day allowing you to start the diet better
ElevenMalevolentElephants
Me too! Rang in the new year throwing up on the bathroom floor. Huzzah!
CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
Go us!!
t4piwa
Sounds like you are off to a running start
RoncoSnackWeasel3001
Runny*
Leafus
Extreme dieting.
INoLongerCareBoutThisName
At least you aren’t breaking your diet
CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
True! All I've had today is an apple and some water, which I've taken on quite slowly.
ALilBitLupi14
The universe: This colon is clear.
AStrongFemaleCharacter
Wow, the universe is looking out for you.
supawuam
Sounds like a good start! Get well soon!
SamanosukeOnimusha
2019 just wanted to fuck you one last time
FitzJustRight
Call it detox...
TheBentPianist
You can have a burger while on a diet OP.
SlamodoDragon
whalesarelyfe
Got food poisoning for the first time in my life the other night. Christmas dinner is forever ruined for me.
CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
Awwww man
goddommitdom
It was salmon for me. Was so dizzy I couldn't even see, crawled into the bathroom and spent the night on the floor. Thought I was gonna die.
whalesarelyfe
There was so much of everything coming from everywhere.
goddommitdom
So much more everything than my body even contained. I was evacuating the memory of meals years past before that night was over.
whalesarelyfe
EXACTLY
RoovyRoo
That's actually best case scenrio: being put off by food you used to love
Kajetseifert
I suppose that's a good way to help avoid them...
zugz003
Pavlov that! Think about that burger every time you have a craving, keep your goal strong.
mrcheese1
Great way to lose a few lbs before a show
RhetoricalRobot
Just take the lettuce off next time.
frannis1985
Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels eh
CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
Hopefully this year, I'll get to know how it feels hahaha
frannis1985
Imjusthereforthecomments
It’s not that. Eating healthy changes your tastes so stuff literally doesn’t taste as good. It’s weird as shit.
CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
That's true
PandaBearSoup
Yeah people often tell me they "can't imagine" not craving meat. But its a feedback loop. You crave the things you eat not those you dont.
RhetoricalRobot
No, if you stop drinking water, you'll crave it for the rest of your life.
darthstormer
Have you even TRIED deep-fried cheesecake?
RozzAMcGee
Clearly not
CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
Well shit, now I'm rethinking my diet.
frannis1985
evilcarp
I've had the flue for about 2 weeks. Stopped smoking and no longer having cravings. Might actually make it this time.
CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
Fingers crossed!
TheresaMaysfannysmellslikewetsocks
All the best, you got this!!!
tamillr7
Flue?
CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
Many people don't know the flue is a duct in your chimney while the flu is a virus.
imcurrentlyatabar
Added aggravation is that South Africans call every headcold “the flu”. Makes me think they’re all shitting themselves.
evilcarp
Flu. Must be rough being as inflexible as a computer. How do you manage to learn knew things?
CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
*new. Internet :)
evilcarp
I meant knew. As in, you should know. Already know you don't understand the new.
CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
I'm just joshin' honestly I hope you have a good day
VernonTWalldrip
Pretty good jumpstart on losing weight though.
investigation27
I'm actually jealous. And I feel fucked up about that.
CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
I get the same kind of feeling when someone tells me they lost an absurd amount of weight due to illness because weight loss is so hard.
CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
I feel like a total shitheel when I feel that way, but I know it's not that I'm glad they went through that trauma or anything like that.
investigation27
Probably natural enough. I know I'm the one saying it, but I don't think we're bad people.
No123450N
It unironically is. I got food poisoning from fast food before i lost 70 lbs. Repulsion from bad food is apparently a good incentive.
CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
That is honestly the boon I'm hoping this gives me
NeynasGhost
Real talk. I had a grilled cheese at a fast food joint when I was like ten, took me years to even accept PIZZA again. Melty cheese is awful.
ImAfraidYoureAllPsychosSoIMadeThisAccount
Yep, had a ham and cheese at Hardees about 30 years ago. I still haven't forgotten about all that vomit.
vrflyer
Should have gotten it medium rare!
CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
I did T_T
thevortexmaster
The only time I ever got food poisoning. Trying a med rare burger
RhetoricalRobot
Well, keep away from the side salad next time.
LetAllYourAngerOutOnMeIDontBite
nothing to do with the temperature of a burger. unless its not beef ofc
thevortexmaster
The bacteria with beef is on the surface. As soon as you grind the beef what's on the outside is now on the inside. Unless you grind your>>>
thevortexmaster
Own steak and sear the outside its entirely possible to get food poisoning from grocery store ground beef. Generally e coli.
AssholesFullofElbows
On the bright side that'll help ya lose 5 or so lbs what with all the puking and shitting
TheyCallMeBalls
That's cheating.
volcanoduck
Hell yeah. It wasn't good food poisoning unless you drop a belt size.
CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
Should I try again in a week?
BigDaddysMeatWagon
I got food poisoning like a week ago, lost 6 lbs in 3 days. Mostly water
SixHundredThousandBees
Brilliant! I’m going to become rich by selling the new Food Poisoning Diet. Great results guaranteed!
StripTheFleshSaltTheWound
You joke but people would buy that shit up so fast.
SociallyAwkwardCanadianMoose
Hey, it worked for Gomez Adams why not you? I loved that episode
Markuspsyches
Didn't people buy capsules of tapeworm eggs to shed pounds?
CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
Here's to a great start!
MediocreExtremist
a 'flying' start
SaintCuntyMcFuckOff
Just think of it as an involuntary cleanse to start your year off!
CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
That's the silver lining hahaha
SaphirasSexDoll
I've a slightly used, stainless steel, 3" thick fox-tail buttplug if you're interested? It's too small for me.
CivicXSi
A great shart* you mean
CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
Zing!
Ramybe
Came here to say this. Good thing I read all the replies first.
AssholesFullofElbows
Oh dang man. Loving the username
CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
Oh hey, right back atcha ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
AssholesFullofElbows
Did we just becone best friends?
Pakemania
Yaay, not a bad start for a new year
BenSnow97
TIL Sarah Jessica Parker uses Imgur
CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
/a/ryp6wAS