gmishx
167873
3569
96
Hello, I am a developer.
And I thought I'll share some jokes with you all.
So here are some programming/technical jokes.
Sometimes I have to read them twice to understand.
Does that make me a bad developer?
I always wonder what other programmer thinks.
Maybe they are like me.
Maybe they are not.
I can't use the conditional operator in real world.
Maybe I'll marry another developer someday.
But I never wanna marry a tester.
You can't live happily with someone unless you two agree on something.
But I cannot find someone who like me.
Maybe I'll die alone.
Well, what the hell?
I have my virtual assistant with me!
She'll take care of me.
But sometimes she gets angry when I ask her out.
Maybe I should find a restaurant which suits her needs.
I don't know if my parents will approve her.
But she's very charming and smart.
Oh I totally forgot to say hello to you stranger. Have a nice day!
Puppy tax
bruudwin
#10 's song anyone?
CommonSloth
The Drums - Money https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nRX7NIrrzs
bruudwin
holy moley. thanks! like tom hanks T.Hanks!
attofreak
Love how the "developer" starts dancing, to sell it as a feature. That's commitment to the job.
Backdoorshartz
Song sauce?
Xeckz
"Money" by The Drums
SeeBeyond
Hey op, I’m writing this letter to you because I enjoyed this post, but I did not need to be attacked today by #3, sincerely, BuyMyDomains
CopyPasteProgrammer
Am I... relevant? :-o
Navrodel
#20 - Always assume the worst will happen. Write a line, save the document. The 's' key should be the most frequently hit on the keyboard.
NoAsBigAsMediumJockButBiggerThanWeeJockJock
While ctrl+s is prob my most pressed key combo; every system just rebooting itself is a crap system.
BronzeLeaguePro
Emacs has a setting that saves every keystroke. IntelliJ does this automatically, etc.
NoAsBigAsMediumJockButBiggerThanWeeJockJock
Eclipse uses git in the background for this. Saved my ass a couple of times.
DarthFutuza
Assuming the worst will happens, assumes a power failure in the middle of the save process corrupting the save entirely and github melts.
HighFunctioningAlcoholic
No woman is hoping you're drawing her on public transit.
FinalsWeek
Fuck you for personally attacking me with #3
Raecracy123abc
Me being personally attacked: #15 Going from Econ to Data Science like no I get data/data research just teach me commands I'm good-I was not
Mechame
buying fellat.io WAS AN INVESTMENT IN THE FUTURE, damn it
3Davideo
What is #6 depicting?
bazookasoup
Organograms
IMayOrMayNotHaveTroubleFindingAndOrChoosingAUsername
Organizational diagrams. E.g. Microsoft's divisions don't necessarily coordinate, Oracle is very litigious, Apple is "ruled by 1 king", etc.
NoAsBigAsMediumJockButBiggerThanWeeJockJock
#2, i'd murder that fox. Even if it is cute AF
sunyudai
I subscribe to the rule of "date someone who makes you a better pertain", which means do date a QA tester.
Lycea
I need more off this , fellow dev here
KibbiChibi
@OP Honestly, programming is far too complicated than it needs to be. What is it that you do?
gmishx
Not for me anymore, it's like liquor for me. I am a full stack deveopler + system and DB administrator.
hetriedtokillmewithaforklift
Is that fucking UML in #1?! I thought I was on summer break god dammit!
Kharon8
Yup.
GreaterDog
#17 Thank goodness there were no windows
lolthisismyusername
#22 Rebase for the win
Laser2000
damn it fox not again!!
TheHumanCentipanzer
https://imgur.com/qw7ZLRq
FinalsWeek
This my favorite post. Web dev to web dev ❤️
roosterofdoom2112
Don't get. Still upvoted.
HapilyDamaged
gmishx
World need more people like you
helagos
I've worked in IT for nearly 12yrs. Programming is scary shit that I avoid, but I've picked up enough to laugh at this.
numonster
#3 IT, got to "the scene" and closed the book and said "goddamnit, Stephen"
4hybrid4
Nerd
PeelMyBananas
What year is it?
gmishx
2048 I guess
DeadGremlin
#1 would be funnier if he was literally objectifying the woman.
Ticmea
class Woman {}; console.log(typeof (new Woman()));
PiGuy314
var womanObj = (Object)woman;
DarthFutuza
DeadGremlin
Thank you, I'll be taking this.
RandomMagus
Shouldn't the two lower boxes be things that inherit from the woman class, or did the first meme use this chart wrong?
DarthFutuza
They should have a relationship, but not necessarily inherit. However, tiny font is tiny and I have no room for accurate full diagram.
HighFlyKai
I expected an entire diagram of the human body structures as OOP in a single panel of this meme :( what a letdown /s (nice meme)
Midknyfe
Not even a programmer but the Microsoft one makes so much fucking sense
Asmor
#14 is incorrect. '1'+1 = '11', not 11.
DarmokAndJaladWhenTheMemesFell
#12
whereIsMaSweetRoll
Guess I can finally change that prick's mind
IrrelativeTheory
lol wrong number, but I'll upvote anyway.
Asmor
Ah fuck, it's #12. I swear I counted. Thanks for pointing my error out. :(
IrrelativeTheory
It makes your number / syntax correction even better. I gave my +1, now I give my +'1'.
vorodar
+1 === +'1'
imcurrentlyatabar
I enjoy that it’s a number-based joke and you got the wrong number. +1 for irony.
nzgeek
'1' + 1 = '11', but 1 + '1' = 2. Ain't JavaScript type coercion fun!?
elganif
makes sense to me, first type found selects the function for overloaded functions
Kharon8
It definitely looks the same on the screen. But you're right, it's a string.
CandyIsDandyButCraftBeerIsDandier
cousteau
And then there's Perl, who has the opinion that '1'+1=2, because that's what + means.
Asmor
I love perl, but it's so weird. 0 == '0' (they're literally the same thing), and 0 == '', but '0' != ''
cousteau
No no, '0' == ''. But '0' ne ''. Depends if you're using numeric comparison (==, !=) or string comparison (eq, ne)
Asmor
Huh. You're right. How the hell did I miss that? That makes so much more sense now.
cousteau
Maybe it's like that on another language. There are plenty of languages that do weird shit like that.
Primaldirectory010
I wonder if op is a web developer?
erwanairone360
A great web developer
6 years ago
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27
0
WinnerWinnerChickenD
The best
tdmc167
A great<\strong> web developer<\h1>
6 years ago
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14
1
ByThePowerOfSCIENCE
A Slavic web developer
zackmentz
Ouch, didn't even close that
tag.
6 years ago
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43
0
erwanairone360
Hey, developer here, not sys admin, so make mistakes, sorry man, it's ok, nobody see it, added to bug's list /dev/null
alittletime
Let's see... *ahem* HTML IS A PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE
nzgeek
Um, akshually, it's a markup language which means it's for formatting and not programming. Kthxbai!
SithShodan
YOUTAKETHATBACKHTMLISBARELYCODINGYOUCANTEVENWRITELOOPSIBETYOUHAVETOLOOKONSTACKOVERFLOWYOULILSCRIPTKIDDIEFITEME
Caylin
That's where I started and got my motivation to move forward to 'real' languages. So I won't gate keep html
sfrinlan
It's a language, just not a programming language. Nothing really to argue about. Just objective fact.
ZashchishchayushchiysyaOsushchestvitelLzhesvidetelstva
The deal is HTML is objectively not a programming language at all. It is a markup language, which doesn't make using it a bad thing.
weedeewee
agree, I think he knows much 'bout programming in Https.
SithShodan
... well done.
razz85
*eye twitches*
IsThatAMothaFlippinJojoRefrence
What makes you think that?
DarthFutuza
The utter loathing for javascript.
zoezoebelle
Back end devs usually hate JS the most. The syntax is like a C base language but the functionality is worse.
fennecbutt
The syntax is almost nothing like c at all apart from basic assignment and logical operators...
Pyrokar
I mean, that's just any sane developer
DarthFutuza
You...you make a fair point.
morphire
Are those...rage comics? In TYOOL 2019?
TituzzzD
I love it cuz I miss them.
StaalTheNotQuiteSoUndefeatedAnymoreButNevermind
A relic of a simpler time. When cats has cheezburger, and memes came in black borders and explanations.
kerms
They were funny for like a couple months. Then they turned into cancer.
TituzzzD
At least they were funny before they turned to cancer. Unlike you.
YouMealyMouthedCrotchPheasant
Not sure if the artist realises this, but in #1 those are some weak ass primary (or even compound) keys.
BronzeLeaguePro
Dude, don't even get me started. Author is just a string, and not its own object, you're specifying an array and not say, a set, etc.
DarthFutuza
TBF you try and fit all the important relevant information into that tiny piece of paper/resolution and still have it be in a readable font.
BronzeLeaguePro
Author can be a separate class, Set is not much larger than THING [ ] that he wrote, etc.
UnderwearThief
Those are fields, not primary keys. It's UML for code, not a database ER model
Kharon8
Read it first as ER model and it didn't make much sense, UML does.
sunyudai
Those are object designs, not table designs.
GeneralWho
Off I go to read through them for the millionth time!
pandorafalters
"Accessors Are Always Right" even if they're just store/load shims with no logic - or, worse, return non-const refs.
YouMealyMouthedCrotchPheasant
Ok, but look at the example, for book you have title as the field, not id or ISBN or anything unique.
DarthFutuza
If any books with the same title are present, the additional ones simply aren't allowed in the library. Get "Dictionary", we got 1 already.
YouMealyMouthedCrotchPheasant
"If any books with the same title are present, the additional ones simply aren't allowed in the library" that's a dreadful way to do things.
DarthFutuza
I'm being sarcastic, don't pull a leg over it I agree with you. :P
pandorafalters
. . . why would you put property accessors on a container? They're clearly diagramming objects. Things you put IN containers.
amp99
cousteau
Is it bad that I know what site this is from?
ObliqueRay
I have found old code that was clearly written by someone with severe brain damage. Source control showed it was mine.
ismarticus
I have been here
reverendunk
I don't know which I'm more ashamed of... All the time I spent reading bash, or the number of things I said that ended up there.
tinyfootprints
I consider APL a "write-only" language bc I can write code that runs fine but I sure as hell can't read the same code even the next day.
cousteau
That's the usual description of regular expressions. I know that feel.
Kharon8
Understanding APL someone else has written is really, really tedious. Even worse than SQL.
tinyfootprints
o.0 Yikes! I'm glad I never had to do that past a few small one-liners.
IraqiWalker
The ph related reddit one everyone in my office laugh. Were an IT company, but we still understand the pain of php
0coke
unpunnyfuns
i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet
cousteau
…didn't like the dancing bot?
BearRaid
TheRealFireFrenzy
BASH.ORG DAMN THATS A BLAST FROM THE PAST
RaisinZetaJones
Came to make this comment but I see you've done the Lord's work here.
DaisukeAramaki
Still my fave: "Saying Java is best because it works on all OSs is like saying anal is best because it works on all genders." -Alanna
Cruxador
Well per that analogy, Java is pretty great.
WoeToHice
I put on my robe and wizard hat.
dschuma
I cast level 100 fuck of the infinite
TheRealFireFrenzy
WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
Mechame
And it exploded ALMOST all over my keyboard, but I got it away just in time
gerardMajax
seems it's still updated... who still use IRC?
Kharon8
I do. I've used every reincarnation of it too, from instant messenger to teams. irc still beats them: Compact, fast and robust protocol.
Kharon8
No "multimedia" means no powerpoint-poisoning or cat videos, a mixed blessing.
gerardMajax
but them sick ascii emotes
Doomgriever
LightStriker
The second one is frightening. You find a bug and wonder how it worked for months?
regregex
"at which point the program promptly stops working for everybody until fixed." http://www.catb.org/~esr/jargon/html/S/schroedinbug.html
LightStriker
Heisenbug... So true.
cousteau
No no, Schroedinbug. Heisenbug is when the bug disappears when you try to observe it.