When I shattered my elbow in high-school I didn't poop for 4-5 days until my mom finally asked. A bunch of stool softner later and I was sitting on the toilet sweating like a amazon warehouse employee in the heat of July. I birthed a whole turd infant out my backside. It felt like a watermelon covered in razors and lemon juice and mind you I was on pain killers.
Honest question, would people that are used to having anal sex have any easier time with colossal turds? Or would colossal turds for normies be the normal for them and they would then only have issues with ginormours turds that would rip a normie apart like an Aliens baby?
I’m an anal enthusiast and it’s pretty much the same, there’s no lubricant for a large turd but you have the benefit of not fearing enemas and such which make it easier to birth big burtha
A warm bath and lubrocant applied around the vent, as well as gentle massaging in the gut area. You should also get a vet on the line and have them come to you so the hen isn't further distressed as they may need to preform different procedures depending on what they are, ranging from dangerous manual extraction to injectong calcium and extracting the egg yolk from the egg, horomonal injections, and even surgery. It can get pretty complicated with how delicate the situation is.
That is counter-peristalsis contraction. Basically its the hen starting to form a 2nd egg to early and the already formed egg moves back into the egg factory for a second run.
It can be but most often is not. The more often it happens the less likely of tears. The biggest issue is if it happens a 3rd time. They tend to not be able to clear the egg(s(s)) then.
Where does the shell part happen? I've been assuming there's some kind of calcium-squirting gland around the exit, that 'paints' the egg as it's coming out. Is it actually higher up in the system?
It has to do with calcite in the membrane of the egg. As the embryo develops, the calcite forms crystal columns that become the shell. The egg and shell develop simultaneously.
^i guess it’s not so much the embryo developing (because most eggs are not fertilized) just the egg forming 🤷♀️ Hopefully someone smarter than I am will chime in.
Neat. So last question, is the shell hardened before it comes out? I thought they came out soft which is why sometimes they're long and skinny, like they pushed it out too fast.
southflhitnrun
Oh man, a snake or something could have had a nice dinner.
Lassannn
A chicken's cloaca is having a cigarette somewhere right now.
Rumthorp
Clo-Ache-a
undrh2o
We heard you liked eggs so we put an egg in your egg dawg. -xibit
NotTinyPancakes
thats the worst hidden mickey ive seen
heyletsbefriends
matryoshka egg
BaconAlmighty
Triplets, Basil!! Triplets!!
eZeno
Notthewatdabney
Eggception.
2000flushes
Drix1942
Eggy Mouse. :)
NotTinyPancakes
its a hidden mickey
NuclearMonk
This kills the chicken.
MangoWoodDesk
Check that chicken's hatch-hole.
BeerFueledAdventurer
Pervert
Hashbrown123
thepeenisbehindthetrenchcoat
that chicken had a perforated cloaca after that one.
TI99Kitty
"What d'you think all that cluckin' was about? I was sayin' 'For god's sake, give me an epidural!' "
Aforaseem
DonutTramp
Bet she couldn't walk after that one
Invisibleman1921
Honest question: which egg would spoil first? The inner or outer egg?
CobainsSarcoma
cloaca
JustAnotherVictimOfAmbientMorality
RIP cloaca
rsayers
One of mine did that, just giant. Inside it was normal, just more white. The egg before it could have been laid by a robin. It was neat.
tidepool
Overachiever
Defcon2
southflhitnrun
Omg. Lmaoooooo
ImSynnical
We’ve all had poops like this
NotTodayMF
I had one like this at work, I had take off my clothes because I was sweating so much. Then, commenced to rock back and forth as if that would help.
twostepsfromlost
When I shattered my elbow in high-school I didn't poop for 4-5 days until my mom finally asked. A bunch of stool softner later and I was sitting on the toilet sweating like a amazon warehouse employee in the heat of July. I birthed a whole turd infant out my backside. It felt like a watermelon covered in razors and lemon juice and mind you I was on pain killers.
ellid006
Me currently
homoerection
PourMeAPuppersPlease
ellid006
Thank you all for the kind support during that difficult time. I want you to know I wouldn't have been able to do it without you all <3
PimpoMatic
Honest question, would people that are used to having anal sex have any easier time with colossal turds? Or would colossal turds for normies be the normal for them and they would then only have issues with ginormours turds that would rip a normie apart like an Aliens baby?
ImSynnical
I’m an anal enthusiast and it’s pretty much the same, there’s no lubricant for a large turd but you have the benefit of not fearing enemas and such which make it easier to birth big burtha
SarcasticComment
I once had the fire chicken soju shits that left me naked, hungover, and sobbing in my tiny Korean bathroom
wanjeonhanwalwal
You'd have to walk 12km to hatch the first one and then another 2km for the one on the inside!
Fulustreka
And then we got a Raticate 🤢
BlackBearChopSticks
Those are some really pale yolks. I’ll assume it’s because of the egg oddity.
Fulustreka
Even with different colors, the yolk does not lose its nutritional value because it is lighter. These colors are determined by food.
JohnBigboote74
Chicken decided to produce more eggs per egg. Give her a raise!
Quizz25S
Egg Inc. wants to hire her.
AlexSomething
Xzichick.
aloharamada
Best she can expect is a pizza party.
ProxyPlayerHD
cave johnson voice: "that is 35% more egg, per egg!"
JeffTeck
theninjayousee
Eggceptional.
Neednoggle
Fuck, that musta been a rough day for her
N9inb0x
It can be! Large eggs has the potential to make hens eggbound, which is lifethreatening to the birds if not caught and treated within 24 hours.
diezl97
How do you treat that?
N9inb0x
A warm bath and lubrocant applied around the vent, as well as gentle massaging in the gut area. You should also get a vet on the line and have them come to you so the hen isn't further distressed as they may need to preform different procedures depending on what they are, ranging from dangerous manual extraction to injectong calcium and extracting the egg yolk from the egg, horomonal injections, and even surgery. It can get pretty complicated with how delicate the situation is.
AssHatEaterMaker
Vaseline.
PenguinSauce
You know the good ol' sayings, don't put all your eggs in one... egg.
HorseonaBike
BurrhusBacchus
ApothecaryGrant
VitaminJay
Naaaa-na-na-na-na-na-na katamari Damacyyyyyy
*BRASS SECTION GOES FUCKING NUTS*
phordlesscone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBovvL03dKQ This is my favorite version.
Cevius
Katamari on the funk! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EQnzIT5STM
VitaminJay
Oh! And Disco Prince. https://youtu.be/z80KBGrH3xM?si=EFPcgmxafEyiHZPB
VitaminJay
Lonely Rolling Star is burned into my brain. https://youtu.be/7_QydNXI_ok
johnxbear
10000 science people could tell me it's safe to eat but my brain is screaming that it's wrong and you shouldn't touch it let alone eat it.
rbudrick
Yeah, it just seems so tumory.
alienanthropologist
What's wrong about it for you?
johnxbear
Well it very much didn't form normally
RainierCamino
Fuck that, gimme the triple egg omelette
Iinajoki360
"I'm having triplets"
PerpetualOddness
"Today we're making a three egg omelette! To start with, of course, you're going to need...one egg...."
whiskeywonka
That is counter-peristalsis contraction. Basically its the hen starting to form a 2nd egg to early and the already formed egg moves back into the egg factory for a second run.
iMcFly
I just assumed the video was fake. Had no idea this was actually a thing!!?
dickblack12
Joylove
Who doesn’t like eggs?
jenrenea
andyonetime
Egg factory is crazy
beemarr
Dangerous for the chicken?
SeriousHustler
She probably can’t sit without feeling pain for a while maybe in need of some soothing cream
KidShenck
Cream of Chicken
whiskeywonka
It can be but most often is not. The more often it happens the less likely of tears. The biggest issue is if it happens a 3rd time. They tend to not be able to clear the egg(s(s)) then.
ineed2killtimeok
That last part was really clever!
whiskeywonka
TY TY, Being a dad for 21 years was all the prep needed.
Geracht
...Shit, your formatting got me, haha
whiskeywonka
ty ty
Cranbananarama
More egg for your egg!
Iainhead
Winterous
Where does the shell part happen? I've been assuming there's some kind of calcium-squirting gland around the exit, that 'paints' the egg as it's coming out. Is it actually higher up in the system?
StewedTomaters
I want to hear more about your perceptions of how biological processes work.
Winterous
Oh come on this is a totally plausible explanation. Covers it in some mixture that hardens as it air-dries.
annolyn
It has to do with calcite in the membrane of the egg. As the embryo develops, the calcite forms crystal columns that become the shell. The egg and shell develop simultaneously.
annolyn
^i guess it’s not so much the embryo developing (because most eggs are not fertilized) just the egg forming 🤷♀️ Hopefully someone smarter than I am will chime in.
whiskeywonka
https://youtu.be/l_D1qTNDyJc
Winterous
Neat. So last question, is the shell hardened before it comes out? I thought they came out soft which is why sometimes they're long and skinny, like they pushed it out too fast.
spookyu
Okay, never really considered how an egg develops internally that way, that's super cool. How does it manage to happen so quickly?
whiskeywonka
define quickly? it takes 12 to 20 hours for the shell, a hour for the yolk
spookyu
That seems like a relatively fast process, but I suppose that isn't objectively measured against anything
JustTawnee
Red triangle factory but the worker stops the belt when a blue circle comes out, but the machine sends another blue circle and they merge?
whiskeywonka
more of a belt that wraps presents coming down thne the belt reverses and the worker just wraps two presents together