ItsActuallyDavidNow
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Eager for glory in Iran, a young soldier packs his dreams and energy drinks — while veterans brace for reality and fans cheer from the couch.
https://alpine6.com/2025/06/23/soldier-eager-for-first-combat-tour-in-iran-says-hes-ready-to-blast-some-fools/
KTWK
This isnt a real news site. This article is fake.
OutboardOverlord
Fucking psychopaths.
Samja192
Sounds like the kind of guy that gets his squad killed
SciFiGuy2018
Fer FrEeDoM!
spangolio
A friend told a story from club security, new guy said he hoped he got to bust some heads tonight. Aaaaaand you're fired on the spot.
IgnisInvictus
Which is the proper response. The last thing you want in club security is someone who's looking to get in a fight.
UniquenessReviewed
frenofafren
He just wants to be the first kid on his block to get a confirmed kill.
PaperinoVB
He is mentally ill at best. He doesn't care for his country, for his people, for military results, nor even for dubious glory and honor. He only wants to kill someone.
TalkingSnake
Years ago, I worked in a knife store.
One day I sold a kabar to a young veteran, talked a bit about his service and I was still a teenager so he considered himself an authority on some things. He worked in supply lines, hard work and dangerous at the time but he never saw action and told me that he missed out on it.
But then he tells me about a buddy, who was clearing houses. Sweeps a room, random guy grabs the rifle barrel for dear life as he comes around a corner. ---
TalkingSnake
With his rifle not pointed at the enemy, buddy pulls his kabar out and stabs the stranger repeatedly in the chest and throat.
"... great story."
"Yeah!"
"Where is your buddy now?"
"He's living at the VA."
Sold him the kabar and think about him from time to time. Fucking idiot.
Violaquin
Yeah, that guy was, and probably still is, a fucking idiot. Dude has the “American exceptionalism” curse; genuinely believes the US is the greatest nation in the world and foreign countries are the backyard.
Fuck that guy and the brain poison that made him that way.
Mack1986
Every idiot here falling for an obvious satire site
ItsActuallyDavidNow
Tags matter.
charondaboatman
Just like truth and context. Got to pay attention to it for it to matter.
IgnisInvictus
Oh this guy is an idiot.
Metallica93
We... we know it's satire, right...?
alcamar
Nope, can't assume and it's not immediately obvious(Onion or the like).
And that's the danger with not directly indicating such, these days it's so damn difficult to know if it is actually satire/sarcasm or not
ItsActuallyDavidNow
Tags matter.
IgnisInvictus
This is a satire source. I've just met too many people exactly like this.
smallteam
You'll supervise and manage the reception, storage, and shipping of bulk or packaged petroleum-based products. In this job, you'll supply the Army with the fuel it needs to maintain a state of readiness at all times.
TheDefective
Guard that poppy field now. And no acknowledging that it's a poppy field.
tinytyrant
the onion.... never fails.
Zetor
Oh, I was 100% sure that this was real.
tinytyrant
ItsActuallyDavidNow
Alpine 6 Action News
tinytyrant
ah, checks out. hard to keep up these days.
ItsActuallyDavidNow
Still satire, but the line is more and more scewed.
Mack1986
Another satire site. You got fooled kiddo
ItsActuallyDavidNow
Who was fooled?
tinytyrant
i got fooled. won't be the last time.
mondeca
So many satires sites. I can't keep track of them all. /s
ItsActuallyDavidNow
I don’t think there are enough. /s