Nah bro it's not noticeably big, it's just incredibly slippery. Just floppin' all over the place, slipping outta the poor lady's hands, swangin' itself all around the room, just impossible to control
I asked someone to recommend a romance series because I haven't ever read romance novels. What kind of books do you read? Horror, fantasy, Science Fiction. Oh, okay - try this. It's actually pretty good.
Every time I see this that's my thought. It's about the Length, girth is an after thought. For both men AND women. Length is the first thing that comes up in conversation. If a girl asks her bestie "how big was he?" the answer she gets is the length, and maybe an add about the girth if it was notable. To even pause to consider girth as the intended meaning here is just comical. Noone talks about their 4-inches-of-girth rod; They talk 8, 9, 10 inch long ones, at least from what I've ever heard.
Yeah only men really watch porn, woman like to read it. For example 50 shades of grey made sequel books the first one was so popular but the movie totally tanked. It was probably because some male failed to understand the truth.
Did it tank though? Didn't they make every book into a movie, which implies to me that each one, except maybe the last, made enough money to justify it? I don't have the box office numbers, but I've seen studios abandon better IP for movies that were still profitable.
Yup. It's very very difficult to write romance novels without heading into breasting breastily with her heaving breasts territory. Not impossible, but difficult. Especially one handed. Don't judge me. Just saying.
I know you're joking, but I will say... when I was in the Army and on long deployments, Harlequin Romance paperbacks were VERY popular amongst the soldiers.
Not even good one, my gf listens to a lot of them and maaan its worse than I thought, mostly even unrealistic sey that would be painful for her. No idea who writes that stuff and even less who consumes that on a wide enough range to make it exist.
Who writes it? Mostly women for women. Don't know if you've ever had conversations about it, but the stuff those book have IS what women are into. Massive dongs that are unrealistic in every way? They're into it. Like someone said that visual porn is the same, and it's true, since the point of porn is to stimulate, it doesn't matter if it's unrealistic because it is about fantasies. Those books have awful writing for sure, but they have a LOT of fans. Almost every woman on Earth is reading them.
Maybe, I have no idea and have to take women's somewhat conflicting words on it because I'm not into bottoming so I don't care about size, and all I know is that some say they are into it irl and some say they are not, but in sex fantasies more often than not there apparently HAS to be a big dick: either thick and not extremely long or what would be described as a horse dick. Apparently the bigger the dick the more masculine the man, and the better the eroticism.
Sure, but plot in porn videos is mostly just a remnant from when they were mostly shown in adult theaters or on 60-90 VHS/DVDs. Whatever is left nowadays is usually just a couple of minutes to market it to a specific fetish (why is it always stepsiblings?) that most people skip past.
A romance/erotica story may be very plot heavy if it leans more towards "romance" than it does "erotica", and then you have 300 pages of contrived plot nonsense for 30-40 pages of sex.
Well, it's more regular porn... but yeah for ladies.
The most female audience tailored media that objectives it's characters, makes them devoid of any personality, goals and desire of their own are some types of rom-coms and soap opera. The partner the rom-com protagonist desires can't be physically overpowered, so the protagonists are portrayed as either super-manipulative (but with a positive spin) or crazy and toxic(but in a charming and quirky way), but they get attention.
Yeah was a little surprised too when I read one when I was younger, was expecting the genre as a whole to be a bit more wholesome, but then in hindsight it makes sense that it’s so popular when it’s far more sensual
People exploit people, no matter what the industry. If there wasn't money to be made in it somewhere, it probably wouldn't last long unless subsidized somehow as a greater good. But still, a good romance story uses the sex scenes to heighten the emotion, not exploit the imaginary characters. At least there's that
Does it? Consenting adults filming sex acts as a job isn't any more exploitative than construction work or any other work adults choose to do for an agreed upon wage...
It didn't say it was difficult. It said it could barely be held with two hands. It's just literary porn for ladies, no mystery to it, not even anything weird.
Guy unsolicited bragging about dick lengths, when trying to get a girls interest, is probably a huge red flag for "I dont have any creativity so only the most basic thing i can think off... size"
Nothing wrong with liking/prefering a big one either. This is not on the girls. but on the guys that really have nothing more interesting to say about themselves than "big D"
The biggest ones I've encountered didn't even know what to do with all of that. Well, one was inexperienced, and the other one was just like a Duracell bunny.
It's definitely more important that the guy knows what they're doing with what they have. The smallest one I've encountered was better than many others ngl. Sure, in all size groups there's the good ones and the disappointing ones, that's a fact.
In my era (born 1965, came of age late 70s/early 80s) they weren't property, but there were still rules on "proper" female conduct. Being on Chicago's South Side, I knew many who frequently broke the rules in private. They were fun. but looked down on by other women. But now women can make videos like these and be funny about it. Comedians used to ask (with compassion and genuine curiosity) why women weren't as funny as men -- they weren't allowed to be. I also adore Taylor Tomlinson.
1000%, "my pain during the act was just a byproduct of my partner's love". I regret I had to put on a mask to feel even the slightest confidence in myself. My current partnership is a healthy one and is stronger because of it, and I can support him in his own doubts.
Magnar1183
Only feasible if she's going down on a monster.
Grenateh
LincLoud
ElorYosnak
Nah bro it's not noticeably big, it's just incredibly slippery.
Just floppin' all over the place, slipping outta the poor lady's hands, swangin' itself all around the room, just impossible to control
ReverseSyzygy
at least she'd be willing to try
MacCrack
She can barely hold it but she can dislocate her jaw to suck on it.
agentcutielocks
I love it when romance writers have no sense of scale, lol.
Clayman8
Pretty sure the authors usually mean length, not girth but ill admit i never though of it this way
JoePicardo
ASwedishDuck
Maybe it was spiny?
surroundedbytwits
https://imgur.com/esYQTYe
Eniff
The second hand is holding the magnifying lens.
StarscreamAndHutch
Short enough she had difficulties finding room for 2 hands?
TheFapper
Just smash it and call me a filthy pig a bit
Ivain
I mean... to me that always seems to translate to 'could barely fit 2 hands on it'. XD
lionfury
NightfallEverdark
No one ever said monster-fucking was easy. That's why you need a permit.
Fruc
“Could barely hold with both hands” could mean it’s super tiny.
AtmaDarkwolf
or super slippery!
ProbablyWrong524
Or that she has presidential hands.
galll11
Lmao
NorthmanoftheNorth
Or a presidential body type, so her arms can barely reach the same thing regardless it's size.
galll11
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1dWt1d3JjOG56Y2I4ZWlleHBpaHVwbzJwc3BtcW8yMDR5bDUyeXlndCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/tnYri4n2Frnig/200w.webp
kaltralliart
yeah cos one hand is holding a mobile phone scrolling memes
thepatioheater
Or it's made of loose material like sand. That would be weird
bambulina
It's not *that* weird. Old Sandy Loins Jenkins lived a full, rich life.
WackyWavingFlailingArmTubeMan
Go to sleep
NorthmanoftheNorth
Oh shit, you think that's why anakin was so angry?
OneUniverse
Have to use the eagle claw and swing it around your hear 3 times without dropping it.
ConfusedConda
Her expression makes me think of Madeline Khan in Young Frankenstein saying "Woof!"
WGAFWAFcd
I asked someone to recommend a romance series because I haven't ever read romance novels. What kind of books do you read? Horror, fantasy, Science Fiction. Oh, okay - try this. It's actually pretty good.
Quaxx
pashabigdog
Pie in the sky!
JoePicardo
profiledit
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1NmVuaWRoZGxiZzUzb2JxNDY5Nzhja3dnbHhwaHAwYWlsd2pvdTNueiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/Ho2mVZ5dvsW7S/200w.webp
azazyel
Maybe it wasn't girth but length?
Mostlydeadpool
i think that's the joke. that she's not clear as to what the "OH MY GOD" dimension is...
Shurenai
Every time I see this that's my thought. It's about the Length, girth is an after thought. For both men AND women. Length is the first thing that comes up in conversation. If a girl asks her bestie "how big was he?" the answer she gets is the length, and maybe an add about the girth if it was notable. To even pause to consider girth as the intended meaning here is just comical. Noone talks about their 4-inches-of-girth rod; They talk 8, 9, 10 inch long ones, at least from what I've ever heard.
CaptainWARLORD
Girthmasterr would like a word.
HsuDoNihm
... so you're saying Girthmaster works at the Temple of Black and White? I could see it.
JoePicardo
Fendeezy
Maybe homegirl just clumsy as fuck and kept playing hot potato with it like it was a wet bar of soap.
Darklinkinfinite
Eniff
It was too big to be called a sword... Massive, thick, heavy, and far too rough. Indeed, it was like a heap of raw iron.
shadowarachh
WHAT?
turkizno
emmythefox11
ParryLost
He penised dickishly to the stairs and cockled downwards...
pdp1
Otomasoteraph
"Romance"?
brazzy42
"Romance".
modus0
Porn, marketed to women, with better branding.
Mostlydeadpool
smut. just raw. unfiltered. unrated. smut.
echinocereus
Wife material!
ourari
Maybe she just has really small hands. And a big mouth.
yathatsgood
Like a t-rex
agentcutielocks
Maybe she can unhinge her jaw like a snek.
CarbyD
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1cW95eHVxd2hmeTVmdjBvNzUzM3l0ZjZ5ZnRpZ2g4M21heGk0bHZtbSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/ohrQCO48drf3i/200w.webp
Bloomlight
YES. Exactly what I was hoping someone had put
EmeRgencyDrD
Got it so, romance books are porn
theworldcouldbeflat
Yeah only men really watch porn, woman like to read it. For example 50 shades of grey made sequel books the first one was so popular but the movie totally tanked. It was probably because some male failed to understand the truth.
Sonicschilidogs
Did it tank though? Didn't they make every book into a movie, which implies to me that each one, except maybe the last, made enough money to justify it? I don't have the box office numbers, but I've seen studios abandon better IP for movies that were still profitable.
theworldcouldbeflat
It came out around the same time as Magic Mike so mostly the market was saturated cause women like to read porn.
Sonicschilidogs
Again, you keep saying that, but Magic Mike also had a sequel......
theworldcouldbeflat
50 shades did not have a sequel movie made.
Vallete
Always have been
ticktockbent
Always have been
iDrawStuff
I used to work in a B&N - Yes. Yes, they are.
WigglyBlondeNoodle
The proper term is smut thank you very much.
atoyot
Oh you sweet summer child.
jaggcomputing5
Strictly speaking, pornography means "writing about prostitutes". Sorse OED.
Sarcastus
Yup. It's very very difficult to write romance novels without heading into breasting breastily with her heaving breasts territory. Not impossible, but difficult. Especially one handed. Don't judge me. Just saying.
joshuasplinth
https://www.reddit.com/r/RomanceBooks/s/vCxRmzJB2S
Mostlydeadpool
definitely porn.
n3ckr0mantic
Always have been .meme
afroniner
I mean ... Yea.
FinancialRavioli
It's not porn... it's cliterature.
MrPappagiorgioFromYuma
https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTY1YjkxZmJldHpvaGw4Z2ZibHFrM2IxNWt0NHFhYTY3d25rNTRybDIyaDMzdWNmZyZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/xT77XWum9yH7zNkFW0/200w.mp4
SuperIncoherentRantingMan
Some might say a work of friction.
TheAccursedHamster
I regularly playfully give my SO shit for reading them (just for fun, not seriously)
IntelligentLake
screamed the stable boy.
ThM1ck
I know you're joking, but I will say... when I was in the Army and on long deployments, Harlequin Romance paperbacks were VERY popular amongst the soldiers.
MusicPenguin
Always has been.
Grimmrog
Not even good one, my gf listens to a lot of them and maaan its worse than I thought, mostly even unrealistic sey that would be painful for her. No idea who writes that stuff and even less who consumes that on a wide enough range to make it exist.
BishlamekGurpgork
You're reading the wrong smut. Let me guess, Internet fan erotica? Literotica?
MaleProstateMilker88
Who writes it? Mostly women for women. Don't know if you've ever had conversations about it, but the stuff those book have IS what women are into. Massive dongs that are unrealistic in every way? They're into it. Like someone said that visual porn is the same, and it's true, since the point of porn is to stimulate, it doesn't matter if it's unrealistic because it is about fantasies. Those books have awful writing for sure, but they have a LOT of fans. Almost every woman on Earth is reading them.
Grimmrog
But they are only into it listening. Otherwise big dongs are not very enjoyable for most woman.
MaleProstateMilker88
Maybe, I have no idea and have to take women's somewhat conflicting words on it because I'm not into bottoming so I don't care about size, and all I know is that some say they are into it irl and some say they are not, but in sex fantasies more often than not there apparently HAS to be a big dick: either thick and not extremely long or what would be described as a horse dick. Apparently the bigger the dick the more masculine the man, and the better the eroticism.
delecti
Lets not pretend that porn vids are any different. The "plots" are just as contrived, and the positions just as unrealistic.
Grimmrog
Thwre is good oen out there too, but the book sex is either cliche illusion or weirdo unrealistic one , it sort of is missing the inbetween.
svardfiska
It's not nice to type your response one handed.
Badprenup
Sure, but plot in porn videos is mostly just a remnant from when they were mostly shown in adult theaters or on 60-90 VHS/DVDs. Whatever is left nowadays is usually just a couple of minutes to market it to a specific fetish (why is it always stepsiblings?) that most people skip past.
A romance/erotica story may be very plot heavy if it leans more towards "romance" than it does "erotica", and then you have 300 pages of contrived plot nonsense for 30-40 pages of sex.
ThomasTheWankEnglne
it was your grammys rule34
allenvasher3000
Duh
EricPisch
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTY1YjkxZmJlaXU4em1vaXY3ZDk4YzV2MGo2MXN5ZzN4bnQ1a2g4Ynp2cXc3YnVqdCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/10osILvZ4ez7ws/200w.mp4
Rhythmaster
You didn't know this already?
spittleteets
"Lady porn" /s
Erotica is some of the hottest trashiest smut out there. If Republicans could read they would *not* approve!
JacktheKind
Well, it's more regular porn... but yeah for ladies.
The most female audience tailored media that objectives it's characters, makes them devoid of any personality, goals and desire of their own are some types of rom-coms and soap opera. The partner the rom-com protagonist desires can't be physically overpowered, so the protagonists are portrayed as either super-manipulative (but with a positive spin) or crazy and toxic(but in a charming and quirky way), but they get attention.
an0therthr0waway
seheim
None of these seem very accurate, beyond the notion that a lot of the labeling is arbitrary and misogynist
an0therthr0waway
it was intended as humorous/sarcastic social commentary on the popularity of romance paperbacks.
Saeraphym
Erotica and romance used to be different categories.
MissivesFromTheTower
Do they raise their pinkies or what? I mean, one has to draw a line somewhere.
spittleteets
Maybe throw in some hand fluttering, or periodically stopping to look around like you broke something and checking to see if you've been caught.
seheim
And they would probably have discrete home-delivered subscriptions
KiwiGameDev
Yeah was a little surprised too when I read one when I was younger, was expecting the genre as a whole to be a bit more wholesome, but then in hindsight it makes sense that it’s so popular when it’s far more sensual
BishlamekGurpgork
......you were expecting refined discourse on the foundational value of exposed ankles to modern society?
klaz57
Feel like this needs that astronaut with a gun meme "always has been"
HotButteredPopcorn
was looking for this
PrincessLightningKitty
Porn exploits people. These are fictional characters, hope that helps
Sarcastus
People exploit people, no matter what the industry. If there wasn't money to be made in it somewhere, it probably wouldn't last long unless subsidized somehow as a greater good. But still, a good romance story uses the sex scenes to heighten the emotion, not exploit the imaginary characters. At least there's that
PrincessLightningKitty
Sarcastus
Thank you, kind fellow imgurian. I needed that little bit of validation today. Your cat thumbs up helps a lot and is appreciated. +1
Rhythmaster
Does it? Consenting adults filming sex acts as a job isn't any more exploitative than construction work or any other work adults choose to do for an agreed upon wage...
PrincessLightningKitty
Fictional characters don't even need capitalism so like
Ambipolar
An object doesn't have to be too big to be difficult to hold with two hands.
orp0piru
Two tweezers to the rescue
MyRespectableAlterEgo
A grain of rice would be quite difficult. Or like a flake of sea salt.
vorodar
It did say "barely hold it with two hands". Therefore it's possibly but difficult.
It didn't specify what make it difficult, though. Maybe it's just really slippery.
seheim
then "two" hands would be a little redundant
JoePicardo
Goldensands
It didn't say it was difficult. It said it could barely be held with two hands. It's just literary porn for ladies, no mystery to it, not even anything weird.
Vallete
Maybe it was too small for both hands to fit?
Ambipolar
Yea that was my first thought before the whole spontaneous combustion thing was on the table.
DGeneration92
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1cnpoamphdzZzcXZjOG40NmsxZjc1djJzM3JqN2hpNGsxN2d1ZTN5eiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/d2lcHJTG5Tscg/200w.webp
TwoUsernamesInATrenchcoat
Maybe it's like one of those slippery "water snake" toys
beemarr
I have a hard time holding a tiny lump of burning coal in two hands. Who knows, maybe the dude in the book was prone to spontaneously combusting.
seheim
spontaneous cumbustion*
[deleted]
[deleted]
WhyMustIBeLikeThis
Not if it's not actually a correction. 'cum'bustion
beemarr
Dammit, wasted opportunity on my part. Hats off to you.
modus0
That's kind of worse, though...
Arcanum3000
Slippery and squirming, like an eel.
Qpnao
Thrashin' around
MapleSyrupMafia
Oiled up like a pig at a country fair!
Arcanum3000
Haha, "greased pig" was the other description I was considering!
turkizno
dbox
Well, she's delightful
beachbum273
I love her and I love this bit. The absolute indignance.
TripleDane
Guy unsolicited bragging about dick lengths, when trying to get a girls interest, is probably a huge red flag for "I dont have any creativity so only the most basic thing i can think off... size"
atoyot
Lots of girls will try it just for the experience. To be clear there's nothing wrong with that.
TripleDane
Nothing wrong with liking/prefering a big one either. This is not on the girls. but on the guys that really have nothing more interesting to say about themselves than "big D"
atoyot
Agreed 100%.
SonicColonic
I myself have a medium penis. It can talk to ghosts.
TripleDane
You owe me a new keyboard....
SwordfishSomethings
I have but one upvote to give. This deserves more.
Lontri
The biggest ones I've encountered didn't even know what to do with all of that. Well, one was inexperienced, and the other one was just like a Duracell bunny.
It's definitely more important that the guy knows what they're doing with what they have. The smallest one I've encountered was better than many others ngl. Sure, in all size groups there's the good ones and the disappointing ones, that's a fact.
TripleDane
Yup that's really my point. if the most "sexual" attraction about a person is the size. then it kind just show very little creativity and chemistry.
Now being attracted to woman I haven't hard the experience myself. but the stories I've heard very much mirrors your experience
or a guy that was like "I can go on for hours" and all he did was just the 2 directional burger place move
iMcFly
MoonBoots92
2 words: head game
DWolf
Women did *not* say things like this and the OP in public when I was growing up -- or even joke about it.
Thank God times have changed. They're usually a fucking hilarious about it.
homoerection
That’s because women were considered property and had to keep a level of decorum for their masters. It’s fucked up.
DWolf
In my era (born 1965, came of age late 70s/early 80s) they weren't property, but there were still rules on "proper" female conduct. Being on Chicago's South Side, I knew many who frequently broke the rules in private. They were fun. but looked down on by other women.
But now women can make videos like these and be funny about it. Comedians used to ask (with compassion and genuine curiosity) why women weren't as funny as men -- they weren't allowed to be.
I also adore Taylor Tomlinson.
turkizno
1000%, "my pain during the act was just a byproduct of my partner's love". I regret I had to put on a mask to feel even the slightest confidence in myself. My current partnership is a healthy one and is stronger because of it, and I can support him in his own doubts.
DWolf
Having had a string of bad choices, I was glad to find my late and have a healthy relationship.
So I feel for you and congratulate you on a good one.
turkizno
And to yours as well, cheers!