Screw me for wanting to be happy, I guess.

Mostly just getting something out into the void in whatever way I can.

Made a post a while back about someone passing and, despite a lack of a Will, everyone agreed I would get the house. It was something the person had stated multiple times and even their literal dying wish. I'd also lived in the house, watching over the person for roughly 20 years already, so it wasn't exactly unreasonable. I ask multiple times, and it's confirmed I was to get it.
After being left in limbo about two years over actually being given the land by the deceased's children, I'm suddenly told I have thirty days to hit the bricks. (Basically, the ink hit the page and they showed up by the time it dried.)
Now I'm stuck frantically looking for a place I can afford, packing things, trying to figure out what to do with my larger furniture, et cetera. Was foolishly banking on getting this place and saving funds to work on it after, so I didn't have a backup plan.

The betrayal also hurts, because had they just say upfront "You have until the paperwork is done," I could've already been saving up for something else! It would have given me at least a year to prep. This feels more like cruelty done out of greed.

"You should have lawyered up."
1. No clue how and I barely have the mind for that so, even if I wanted to, I wouldn't know where to begin.
Tried asking people I knew early on, but always got pointed to lawyers outside what I needed.
2. "Legally," they have the power as they're the deceased's direct family. At least to my limited knowledge, that trumps "I was told I'd get this."

All this right after making plans to spruce things up and actually having a brief moment of feeling...good about things, which is rare. Guess that'll teach me to look for positivity.

It's only been 24 hours, but I'm just...so tired. Exhausted. Lungs and heart feel like they wanna collapse.

It's somehow always like this for me. Something good nearly happens, then something negative slaps it away and kidney punches me. Who did I hurt in a past life? All I want is to live in peace and not bother anyone. Who did I hurt in a past life?

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I wanted to add a dog tax for your time if you read this, but imgur won't let me. You can check my old posts for dog.