ZomBfromheck
131505
2879
109
Sep 10, 2018 12:52 AM
ZomBfromheck
131505
2879
109
darthbuttersticks
#6 kow
UpvotingtheHotButton
“Did you kow that?” I think all of the cows on Imgur will be pretty fucking upset by that.
songbringer
https://imgur.com/ThwZ3Bn Every damn friday at 5:30pm as they are walking out the door.
don2046don
BoxOfHellos
thorgod
Best song https://youtu.be/jeg_TJvkSjg
TheOneMaerem
GiantButtHead
A
Ryebread91
What’s a source code?
CoderWithoutCaffeine
A computer program written by usually a human, then it's processed by a compiler to byte code that a machine can read.
SpookyHam
These are weak entry programmer jokes, like from CS 101 students. Want a decent one? Knock knock. Race condition. Who's there?
Raecracy123abc
Im in Data Analytics so I code but I've dated too many programmers; the milk thing I didn't know whether to laugh or cry
ZeusOutOfTen
Created an account to like and upvote. Also because I don't have enough online accounts and I'm always looking for more.
DonRawiri
There are 10 kind of people in the world, those how understand binary and those who don’t
21viking
Just started M.Sc. studies and I'm back at programming course. What a coinsidence.
BranBanana
Coincidence* Maybe you should study English first.
21viking
Maybe I'll add one English course also to freely chosen studies. Not my native language. Maybe you could also get rid of that negativity.
BranBanana
Negative? Think of it as constructive criticism. English isn't my native language either. Too many people use that as an excuse.
ReverseTrapTsukasa
#1 He'd have to be out to meet the condition. He can't return home as he never left.
Thismodernleper
Take it outside nerds
TheBurritoConfederacy
Noooo, the sun burns!
ThisUsernameWasTakenTryAnotherOne
Programmer husband going to the shops, wife says’ buy a loaf of bread and if they have eggs, get a dozen’1/2
ThisUsernameWasTakenTryAnotherOne
2/2 comes back with 12 loaves of bread
ICarpeYourDiems
#1 And that's why milk went extinct
peanutbuttercakedirt
As a QA engineer, MRW my tests fail and I’m told, “The code works locally.”
IATTM
I dunno, it works for me.
NeutralGoodAndrew
At this moment project manager chimes in an asks - "Are we ready to deploy this release? The customer is waiting."
TheBurritoConfederacy
"It works in the simulator."
EmeraldMoreLikeUninstall
"Works on my machine."
JamesRosco
If you can't sleep for two days because of a semi colon you can't read error messages. Fuck yourself.
CoderWithoutCaffeine
*Can't compile to read the error message lol.
AnotherLowski
Not true. I once put a : instead of a ; in an exam. The code compiled but didn't work as intended. It was a hard find, even in +-100 lines.
JamesRosco
That sucks and sounds like a nightmare. I guess you done proved me wrong AL.
AnotherLowski
I was an A student in programming. When I found my mistake, I burst out laughing. Teacher came over thinking I had a nervous brakedown 1/2
AnotherLowski
*breakdown. I showed him my mistake and what it produced and he laughed and acknowledged it was a hard find. 2/2
ChrisWsrn
For #13 the computer is the black chip. The board is only there to give you standard size ports to plug into.
JHawke
VoCore2 Lite.Simmilar idea but WAY smaller, and 20% cheaper! >_>
proileri
So.. 4 bucks instead of 5?
JHawke
ye =p
Joejoebeans
Looks like it was only $4 during the indiegogo campaign. It's a lot more now https://vocore.io/
ruferto
well the IE one isnt true anymore. but fuck safari tho.
PickleRichardNixon
My first coding teacher was foreign and didnt know the word for { so he just made a random noise. I still hear that noise when I see one
3Davideo
I've lived in the same country all my life and I still don't know the word for {.
spoodfighter
Phffffbt - left side.
Mekami
fyi, in English its official name is "curly bracket" or "braces" and is used for -mostly- mathematics.
AnotherLowski
Pointy bracket? Ornamental bracket? Old-timey bracket?
bigguywhokills
"Opening brace" is the colloquially used name in programming. I've also heard "French brace".
jojo558
I've used inspect elements to change someone's comment to make a funny screenshot before
FoxySpirit
Oh god, that is too easy. Now no screenshot ever again has value >.<
[deleted]
[deleted]
jojo558
trollprozac
I've d̨̝o̠̫̼̣ͥ̉̓̄n̮ẹ͚̙̮̘ ̰͍̖̦ͮ̂̔t͓̤̟̠̟͐̄ͭͫ̿̾̽h̖̝͑̉͂̒̋i̳̲̼͙͓̻ͨ̂ͭ͆̒̈́s͍ͮ̎̐̌ͨ
kawaiisaac
Changed the schools website and sent them screenshots
pixarpizza
.
GlitterInTheDarkNearTheTannhauserGate
All these missing semi colon / comma jokes. Use an IDE ffs. Sublime / VS Code are lightening fast, there's no excuse for writing in notepad
CoderWithoutCaffeine
It really doesn't matter what you use. When you compile/run you'll get an error with the line where the semicolon is missing. Some lang >
CoderWithoutCaffeine
don't even have semicolons lol python, swift, kotlin, etc. That joke is kind of useless.
AnotherLowski
It's not the missing semicolons, its the ones that are actually a : and lead (by chance) to working code.
AGrammeIsBetterThanADamn
1) those aren't IDEs 2) you don't need IDEs
GlitterInTheDarkNearTheTannhauserGate
My point is not about IDEs than it's: if your day can be ruined by one syntax error there's something seriously wrong with your workflow
caustickiwii
The joke
AGrammeIsBetterThanADamn
What joke?
caustickiwii
Your head
GlitterInTheDarkNearTheTannhauserGate
What joke?
caustickiwii
Dude was making a joke about IDE's being crutches.
GlitterInTheDarkNearTheTannhauserGate
How is VS Code not an IDE? Refactoring / real-time linting / debugging / source control / test runner are all available with extensions
kruug
An IDE has those built in and is the main purpose. Code and Sublime are enhanced text editors.
GlitterInTheDarkNearTheTannhauserGate
Well... Eclipse is built entirely with plugins, so does that mean eclipse is not an IDE?
AGrammeIsBetterThanADamn
I can do all those with vim with plugins. Is vim an IDE out-of-the-box? Or, even, at all?
kruug
Eclipse can be run without additional plugins as an IDE.
BirdFreak1994
As a programmer this is pretty fucking funny
FungusForge
I'm don't consider myself a programmer, but I've experienced enough to say fuck you to stray squiggle brackets.
FireRoastedFire
As a Software Engineer, I agree.
pc404
Question, I'm in the IT field as an IT Specialist. I'm more in the hardware and data, would programming be a significant value to add?
BirdFreak1994
Yes. Depends on what IT work you do. What do you usually work with and i will tell you what languages would help you 1 up.
Honeybadger2198
Python is an easy place to start. I'd recommend waiting until you understand how to think like a programmer before learning C++ and the like
Emjayen
Yes. I'd recommend starting with CS fundamentals, C and kernel design/architecture.
ThisIsJustMySecondNSFWAccountMoveAlongOrPMmeIDontCare
Except that life source code one. No one knows how to read other people's code. You're still fucked.
RegaraHontha
Imagine the horror of changing something.
schmonday
As a programmer, it still took me a minute to get the first one.
schmonday
But mostly because I ran out of milk.
RulesOfImgur
I assumed it was because he found out she was cheating on him with Greg from accounting. Fuck you greg
ohHiMark2000
I don’t get #1?
easylikerain
While he is not at home, buy milk. He can't go back home, because he has to buy milk forever.
disruptivedecimal
It's a while loop,goes on forever until you turn it off
QuiGonChuck
That's because you don't know code!
IAmJustAFigment
As long as he doesn’t buy milk, he doesn’t have to come back.
Grandolddrummer
No, he buys milk forever. He's out. Buys milk. He's still out. Buys more milk. He's still out...
bigguywhokills
A while loop needs to change a value in order for it to exit. So he needs to change out to !out.
vowofloudness
Then he would be stuck buying milk forever at home.
unluckymercenary
No because he only buys milk while(out) if !out, he exits the loop.
TheCatofDeath
...Wasn't the first computer programmer Alan Turing, known as being a dude?
CoderWithoutCaffeine
Programming is not defined by using a computer. Is just the act of writing algorithms which can be done on paper.
LupusIgnis
While Turing and all other early computer hardware engineers were men, most of the early programmers were female mathematicians. The >
LupusIgnis
>earliest person we today recognise as a programmer was Ada Lovelace, who lived 1815-1852 and wrote algorithms for Charles Babbage's >
LupusIgnis
> theoretical computer, which was never built. It wasn't before the personal computers, which were marketed for boys, that programming >
LupusIgnis
>started becoming a male hobby and then a male occupation.
KnowmSaying
"Local programmer found dead, buried under thousands of milk cartons."
Shamalamadingdongtoyoutoo
WisconsinHome
Please explain about milk
TheMicrowaveWhisperer
Instructions that contain “while” require an exit condition (something to stop the loop). See https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_while_loop
gleely
it's cow-titty juice
CornChunks
He's outside, so he's buying milk. After that he's still outside therefore he buys milk.
MrHobbes14
That was a very succinct explanation. Thank you.
iarecow
while( out() ) { buy.milk() }. The condition ( out() ) never changes, so it is an infinite loop of buy.milk()
WisconsinHome
Thank you- interesting
YouBeTrollin
Should have said something like: do{milk.Get();}while(husband.isOut && !husband.hasMilk);
MultiplePersonalitiesProfile
Show off programmer spotted. What you work with?
nefets
it should be: while( (out()&&milk==0) ) { buy.milk() }
nefets
please dont bring the 0 vs null into this
visorian
I love it when wizards fight over the correct way to cast spells
nowlookatthetoprightcorner
Did you just assume the milk's type and the side effects of the milk method? I bet you'd thinks globals are okay, you'd like race conditions
nefets
at first i thought it was one of those triggered comments, read it again and concluded it wasnt, read it once again and saw it was. fun
SoundMountain
How difficult is it to learn how to program/code? I have a friend who’s fairly tech savvy and needing some direction. Wanting to see if I/
SoundMountain
Can push him towards learning this as a skill and potentially making it a career. I’ve heard of self taught people landing good jobs.
bigguywhokills
Have your friend tinker around on CodeAcademy.com That is a good way to learn the basics of coding in an afternoon.
bigguywhokills
If your friend enjoys it, suggest a coding boot camp, or a CS degree at a reputable university.
Rotsteinblock
pretty easy to learn if you have a decent course, I recommend this one: cscircles.cemc.uwaterloo.ca
kruug
It’s easy to get the basics down. MIT has free courses online.
BananaForSc8l3
It differs somewhat person to person. But most people can pick it up relatively quickly 1/2
BananaForSc8l3
especially if they are good at problem-solving and not afraid for some trial and error. 2/3
BananaForSc8l3
If you're looking for a place to start. Python is a good introductory language. 3/3
ZomBfromheck
cs50 is free and online through Harvard. you can acess it though Edx. thats what i did.
squirrelduck
As a non-coder to all of these
LifeInNightVision
Do you even code bro?
snozzleburt
#1:while loops repeat things as long as a condition is true. So while he is out never changes and he just gets milk forever
snozzleburt
Some of the others: stuff will be written correctly and look ok but won't compile. Stuff like you have spaces and tabs mixed together or you
snozzleburt
Copied and pasted but the font will be wrong but look exactly the same such as apostrophe
squirrelduck
I honestly still don't get it. There's nothing in the joke about loops? It might not be worth it to explain.
thedreadedcone
While is one of the keywords that denotes loops in programming languages https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/While_loop
squirrelduck
See? Now I get it.