armorhide406
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Nov 7, 2022 3:34 AM
armorhide406
74278
1130
37
Jinxies
I'm not a coder and I got more of these than I'm willing to admit. I'm ashamedly proud of myself.
Tarmaccian
#5: As the guy currently coding 90% of a new top-priority product with a 12/1 delivery date, I feel this so much…
TheGreatAtomsk
am i the only one who likes to write docu? it's trivial, helps to recognize ones own code and lets you easily extend the project deadline.
Jackthemayor
#11 in our defense we are trying to make the best of the decisions made by our predecessors more often than not.
drfranny
gud stuff. Thanks.
GrimNyrah
I've juuuuust started learning to code and I understand some of these!
savageGoat
If you ever chose NodeJS, use bundlephobia
VodkaReindeer
Type in Notepad++
CusMan
#2 lol :wq
UWAGAGABLAGABLAGABA
#3 *switch expressions
kerBamf
As someone very seriously considering going to code school, I hope to understand these memes someday
armorhide406
Good luck!
lolalolaBoobyBootyPuss8y
#4 movie/ TV reference??
rainb0w0range
75K? Like, in two years, right?
shapr
vim in emacs is the best vim
fr0stbyte124
#11 Disagree. Not only can the decision be dumb, it can be difficult the whole time you're doing it.
Wraid
iamdanman
I don’t understand these at all but +1 for Community
HorseDeepInADragon
SHORTS! I CHOOSE SHOOOORTS!!
tr26
Allegedly he popped out of his modesty covering and those were real reactions
iamdanman
Like a boss
Higure
Neovim is best Vim. Molenaar has done much good, but he shouldn't have tried to make his own scripting language + interpreter on top.
ActuallyMadeOfCheese
If your text editor isn't Turing complete you're not even trying.
leCeej
LunarVIM is also pretty dope
Higure
The fact that he doubled down and released version 2 of the language with Vim version 9.0 is really puzzling to me.
Schlagerfuzzi
10 PRINT CHR$(205.5+RND(1)); : GOTO 10
VaultGirl69
#29 I don't get this. You still need firewalls...
secondtalon
Honestly, coming from Nerdy, the guy who fucked up multiple things in his clever plan and died, ignoring firewall security is on point.
ipFreak
Most “cloud” hosts make it easy. Check off the ports to open. This guy probably knows iptables
VaultGirl69
I get using software for additional security, but people should still have hardware for physical segregation.
MiniMacropod
It's strange how people think security is automatic in the cloud. Exposed cloud databases happen all the time, maybe even more than on-prem.
VaultGirl69
I've seen organizations and companies get successfully breached because being consolidated in one place males for a huge target. Blackbaud.
lastmanonearthbutidroppedmyglasses
#29 uh, good luck with that.
waidhere
"it's in the cloud, it's already secure!" Followed by "Why do we need traffic shaping or network ACLs?"
FrederickHansArmstrong
Okay so I'm not stupid looking at that with suspicion...
secondtalon
My first brush with AWS's firewalls - "What the living fuck is this shit, I just want to get the server online" and then immediate fear -
secondtalon
If I, someone who kinda knows what they're doing, took that long to get it working securely, everyone else is just allowing all.
tr26
Eh… maybe. But not for long, and not with AWS’s scans.
ruferto
kinda. sorta. maybe.
deaththeunholy
#29 kinda still need a FW in your Cloud networks there… defaults sure but they require customization to be meaningful.
secondtalon
Pfft. Source All: Destination All, Allow All. It's the cloud, it's secure! /s
deaththeunholy
The application developers will handle security /s ?
Ngugi
TinyLiehon
Why did you make a separate database for each year, Rene? Why?
ActuallyMadeOfCheese
"What complete idiot wrote this shit?" - Me, several seconds before finding my own name in the commit log
ExtraAverage
Me coming back after lunch to finish the regex sorting that was 99% complete and functional before leaving.
Lynkfox
hellodeliciousfriend
The most understandable line of code I ever read was a function written by a dev who had left the project was only one line:
hellodeliciousfriend
// This seems complicated so I'll do it later.
HorseDeepInADragon
Also me trying to understand my own code after a few days away
FussyZeus
After *you sober up
HomerSimpsonsEvilTwin
Whenever I have to write anything, which is rare, I always try to document the shit out of it because I know I barely understand it when I'm
HomerSimpsonsEvilTwin
going through it the first time, I definitely won't later. Unsuprisingly it's never enough.
ZZTRaider
That's not your code, it's past-you's code. Totally different person, and they're much worse at coding than present-you.
AttentionDeficitHyperDepression
Or in my case, better
Fryfryfryfry
Past me won't fix some problems saying "looks like a problem for future me", ugh I hate that guy...
Colopty
Luckily future me is super capable and will take care of the problems past me pushed on present me.
jrntn
#24 this hasn't been true for at least a decade. Frontend is essentially a full stack of its own at this point
Recursiv3
The consultant one is so spot on. So many hilariously overpaid consultants just fleecing these idiots ?
1LostPuppy
https://imgur.com/1mvpg8r.jpg
Recursiv3
?
IncrediblySTIFF
Why don’t you become one?
Recursiv3
I'm not good enough at business networking to do it. I can't stomach the masking and schmoozing to pull it off and make plenty as is so ?♂
IncrediblySTIFF
Got it— I think there’s a place for consultants that work as part of a team, if you can do work well there’s a spot for you
blaghart
Morality is generally the reason people aren't wealthy. Because the only way to become wealthy is by being amoral.
IncrediblySTIFF
What!? I’m a consultant and definitely work towards the best interest of my clients
blaghart
And how many of your clients are saints? None of them do anything morally questionable, if not outright evil?
IncrediblySTIFF
This is a lame conversation. Do you think tax professionals are evil?
ElbowDeepInBillCosby
One time before college fucked me with no lube, I got to be part of a project collab with a local company. The client DOES NOT KNOW what
ipFreak
Literally had a client ask us “why did you let us tell you to do it that way?” When it was a bad way to do it.
blaghart
My mom works for RIOT and previously worked for USLabs. Can confirm, based on all her rants about clients to me.
ElbowDeepInBillCosby
The client needs or wants lol
4vie
Your username is both nauseatingly evocative, and karmically satisfying... given what he's done that the least he deserves.
ElbowDeepInBillCosby
Thanks lol
CommentBot3000
The customer usually know what they want (and they're wrong). They always never know what they need.
ElbowDeepInBillCosby
Lolol
Kavrae
As a professional software dev: fuck VIM and all VIM equivalents. Give me a good modern IDE any day.
leCeej
I'm also a professional Dev. You should know that output is more important than tools; big junior Dev energy here bro
Kavrae
Agreed on output vs tools. But in 11 years, I've yet to have a use for the mess that is VIM.
leCeej
Mess? Nah. Steep learning curve? Yes.
Kavrae
Fair, that's probably all it is. Not on my priority list of things to learn. Might prioritize it if I start doing more client server oncall
Bombe
You still need to remote change a config file every now and then… WHERE IS YOUR IDE NOW—oh, that’s right, DIFFERENT MACHINE.
Kavrae
Do that about once a month. I just use notepad++. Sure, it's hella basic, but for as rarely as I need to do it? Meh.
Bombe
Sure. It’s more about using suitable tools. I won’t write code without an IDE but editing config files on a remote server? That’s vim’s job.
MikeyOhno
How does one go about beginning to learn coding?
jrntn
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ActuallyMadeOfCheese
Prepare to learn the wrong thing a lot. I'd play with something code-adjacent like node-red or scratch first, to start to get the idea [...]
ActuallyMadeOfCheese
[...] thinking through algorithms/logic personally, and maybe look into some Decision Maths (there are some good explanations of [...]
ActuallyMadeOfCheese
[...] a lot of concepts that'll be useful in programming but separated from any actual computer). It's a very different starting point [...]
Kavrae
Find an incredibly simple project that you enjoy. Google the best language for that type of project. Dive in. Lots of stack-overflow and W3.
Kavrae
Then inevitably realize that the project you picked was 100x more complex than expected. Abandon. Next project. Repeat.
secondtalon
"Pick a simple project. No, simpler than that. No, simpler. Simpler. Know what? Make the computer say "Hello World" and go from there"
Kavrae
Every single time -_- Painful example: "No, you can't make an operating system as your first project. No. NO! Ok, fine, but not my problem"
secondtalon
Even something like "I just want something to track recipes, sortable/searchable by ingredients, cooking time, etc. how hard can that be?"
secondtalon
Sounds simple - you can do it on index cards with little colored tabs that stick up! But programming it as a novice? Go simpler!