Cinema104
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This is the place I used to call home. I left it behind to move to Southern California. Most people would call that move paradise and would die to leave the seasons and rain behind for coastal California “paradise”. But I just feel homesick and can’t find real thrilling happiness. Had to go on antidepressants and just feeling like a real weenie for letting this first world problem have such an influence on me emotionally.
ThePsychAutist
I'm inferring, here, so bear with me: If you are that ongoingly homesick, then outside forces (likely $$$) are preventing you from following your heart. How is that a First World problem? That is a money problem, and that makes it almost the opposite of a FW problem. So you can stop beating yourself up for having emotions and desires. It's OK for you to want for yourself. Have you discussed active solutions with your therapist? Ways to alter your life path to take you closer to what you miss?
KILLERCHROMATIC
Moving is brutal. I always feel ok for about a year or so but then I begin to feel exhausted with new things, not having a network of people I can easily hang out with etc…. Stick with it? You know I used to say stuff like that but TBH perhaps you should just go home? You only live once so why not make that experience as nice for yourself as possible!
logicaltuvok
I moved from US to UK, and I feel so selfish that I don't love it. It's inexplicably hard because it isn't home. But the best I can do is try to find small joys where I can. Even so, I feel guilty that I don't like it because it was such an opportunity. But it's OK not to love it.
10Upvotes
Did Finn ever get his YouTube Channel?
StephanachoCheese
When I moved, I felt the same way. Somebody told me that it takes 2 years to get over that feeling and it was true. Now my new home feels right but it’ll never be home home.
TheFunionKnight
I read an article about something similar this week about how changes in one's environment whether moving or man-made change can have a huge effect on mental well-being
LilTrashGoblin
I grew up poor, living in a trailer park in rural North Carolina. Our lot didn't really have an end as the property line ended in a big field with woods at the end of that. I could walk around the woods, go to our pond (which was full of snakes and junk people dumped in there over the decades), walk down the train tracks and cross the tressle. Huge farms around, no one cared if we walked through. Now I live in suburbia, more comfortable and secure than I ever was back then. I'm happy here, but..
LilTrashGoblin
When I am stressed out, or depressed, I always dream of the place I used to live. Even though now the whole park has just been abandoned and reclaimed by the forest. I get your feelings man, you're not alone. It really hammers the saying, "You never can go home again."
shameofslate
We moved from Chicago to LA when I was a kid and it took me a long time to get over it. But honestly, after all these years, Southern California just feels like home and I can’t imagine living any place else.
nubblebun
Place matters. Place, and feeling like you belong matter. Feeling like you are in a place that is right for you matters. It seems like you are in a place that isn't right for you.
PrincessWendyB
This is actually a primal, primate problem: the attachment to territory. Moving is trauma, almost as stressful as a death. Salmon swim hundreds of miles to return to the streams from whence they came. Yours is a natural response to moving to an unknown place.
MrsConnorMcManus
Your heart misses a place, I don’t think that’s a FWP. Hope you’re able to find something in cali that helps you smile
SilverNicktail
I totally get it, man. The rainy season has come to Vancouver, and everyone else is complaining. I love it. I fucking love it. The heat is over, the brown grass and the blazing sun and everything being dead. There's smells and birds and colours and I'm cold and I love it.
JjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjAsttfhhhvcc
I moved back for the rain. I’d rather live in a shoebox than have a big house anywhere else. I adjusted to the rain and the Sun, it burns and is unpleasant!! Loving the peaceful rain too!! There are at least 2 of us ☔️
leroy666
Three. Love the sun, but those cool misty mornings on the wet coast are wonderful, and the sound of rain in the night is heaven.
ThatOtherMacAvoyWoman
It’s not a “first world problem.” Our environment has a huge impact on us. You are not alone nor are you weak. It takes time to adjust, give yourself grace.
PsilocybVibe
I grew up in socal. moving out of it to a smaller city outside of California surrounded by beautiful rural areas and nature changed my life for the better. SoCal is too overcrowded.
sowasvonsowas
As Deets put it in "Lonesome Dove" - It ain't good for a man to leave his country. I think that what you used to call home is your country. ♥
boomdiddley
Where is this? @OP
Cinema104
Whatcom and Skagit County, WA
chicharrone
First world problems seem more along the lines of "my door dash orders are always wrong" or "my dogs teeth cleaning was expensive"...Missing your home is universal...?
gypsyspot
my dog needs to have her teeth cleaner but she's so old I'm afraid it would kill her.
Cinema104
Do what’s best for her. Maybe the stress of tooth cleaning outweighs the benefits of clean teeth, or maybe if she’s not eating cause she has tooth pain so the benefits do outweigh those risks. Used to work at a vet before going into nursing and I prefer prioritizing comfort care and solving pain issues for older pets than routine care, which can be different depending on the pet and what they’re going through.
FloatingOnACloudOfTitties
Very true! I love your dogs & I just saw your sad beach fiesta, but Finn is a trooper & I can’t imagine not showing up for him! He’s adorable! Enjoy the ocean & realize every new home has positives even if different from your original home. I wish you & your pups many good times in California…
Cinema104
Lol thank you :) Finn’s beach “fiesta” was just a joke. Whenever I sit down while he’s having the zoomies he comes back to me and looks around all pathetic (he just wants me to run with him), so I’ve made a habit of making dumb videos out of it where “no one showed up” and dressing him up. https://imgur.io/gallery/xSad07e
FloatingOnACloudOfTitties
Oh, that’s fantabulous! Finn is an amazing buddy! How neat that you can take him on all your adventures & he is a great character in all your videos, lol! 🐾❤️🐾
NOFACE86
@op, you’re not a weenie but also where is this?! It’s beautiful country!
KillerTofu69
Looks like PNW
Ultrasuedeisamiracle
Yeah I moved from PNW to SoCal and all I can say is fuck the sun. I didn’t move here for the climate.
MarthaWayne
Shhhhhhh don’t tell them
KillerTofu69
I'll show them Tacoma
Cinema104
PNW, West Slopes of the North Cascades :)
Pandanator9000
I made a similar move and this video was just a flood of memories. Thank you!
jethz
I totally get you. Hell, the PNW isn't my home by a long stretch and I only go there once a year to visit my wife's family and I miss it all year (I know going on holiday isn't the same as living there, but man... ) and it's kind of become my home away from home. Got a trip coming up in 2 weeks and I can't wait. I live all year round looking forward to it.
NOFACE86
@op, what’s your dog’s name :3
Cinema104
Phineas O’Malley, Finn for short. :)
NOFACE86
A good strong name! He looks like a good guy :)
NotoriousBadassWhoLovesMusicals
Often when you think fondly of a place where you used to live, you are actually missing who you were then
MrGubbmintMan
Don't beat yourself for having emotions, dude. I've moved a ton in my lifetime (including two stints in California) and sometimes a setting can be objectively great but subjectively not work for you. It can be anything from losing your routines and comfort places, to just an inexplicable vibe that isn't right, or that the culture and people are different. It's always hard to make friends, too, though I'm glad to see you've got a dog. Anything in particular bringing you down?
Cinema104
The loss of my comfort zones, culture, routine, and the beautiful landscape that shaped all those things. :(
MrGubbmintMan
Those feelings are all absolutely legitimate, and it's absolutely okay to miss those things. I haven't lived in the PNW in over ten years and I still miss it, it's a special place, even when it's perpetually 40 degrees and rainy. Sometimes places just resonate with you. I'm sure lots of other people have offered you advice, mine is to connect. Make new routines. Find a coffee shop you like, a bookstore, become a regular. You like animals? Maybe volunteer at a shelter. You like the 1/2
MrGubbmintMan
3/3 Finally, it's okay if it just doesn't work out. You've tried somewhere new, and while it's hard and expensive to move, you can always do it again. It works out more often than you'd think.
MrGubbmintMan
2/2 outdoors, get up with your closest National Park or Forest & ask to talk to the volunteer coordinator. There are TONS of underutilized BLM areas down there to explore, too, along with non-profit preserve networks like the Wildlands Conservancy runs. The desert can be intimately beautiful, & you're hitting the perfect season to explore it. Joshua Tree is a great place to start, & you'll like the hippie vibe of the gateway community there. 2/3
LegosBearsAndSex
What's the song???
EliteSkink
This Is What Autumn Feels Like by JVKE.
Burke616
I know we use "first world problems" as a sly way to say "that's not a *real* problem," but first world problems *are* real problems. You've moved somewhere that most people would find nice, but you don't. You miss the place that was familiar to you, a place that also looks beautiful to me. That's not a first world problem, that's a human problem. People move and miss their homes all over the world.
MadHat
Is probably go back, Southern California sounds to hot for me.
OddlyPacific
They have microclimates that make some parts perfect, some too hot and some even too cold.
Cinema104
So true, I am always astonished by Dana Point. Everyone else suffering in heat and the second you hit that exit for DP it’s all inside a big cold cloud with the thick fog. Dunno why that area attracts so much marine layer compared to its immediate surroundings.
Flapjackal
I've never grown up close to somewhere as beautiful as this, and I want it as my home above any toasty, sweaty California
L00kH4rd3r2718
I lived in socal for 30 years. You fucked up, go back from where you came. That place will eat your soul. I was able to quit depression meds when I left for the rolling hills of south west Washington a year ago.
sydneygirl
I did not find Southern California to be beautiful. The beaches are 'meh' and the rest was suburbia baking onto desert. I like mountains and forests
BigTittyGothKitty
Just because someone may have it worse than you in this world doesnt invalidate your own feelings, OP. It is 100% natural to feel homesick
IveBeenToGroningen
This is something my therapist taught me and I still have to remind myself often. Someone else having it worse does not change anything for me. It can help put things in to perspective.. but I'm still aloud to be sad. If not, you trap yourself in a "race to the bottom" and you will never win because someone will always have it worse. And that's not productive to healing
WhyCantIStopArguingWithInternetTrolls
Agreed! I tell people this all the time, there is literally always someone on Earth who has it worse than you at any given moment, so by the whole "someone has it worse than you" logic we should never be sad. We are absolutely allowed to be sad about "trivial" things. I myself hate winter, it really affects me, its just grey and gloomy all the time, i need sunshine! Does that compare to someone being abused, of course not, but those are my feelings, doesnt make them any less valid.
Voojagig
If it's a problem then I have it too, I need rain in my life.
nero4ty2
I got moved to phoenix for a few years, hated it, people were always bragging about the lack of rain. Moved to Chicago and there was a huge thunderstorm a couple days after we got here, never looking at the desert again
AbeFromanSausageKingOfChicago
I grew up in NY and then spent 14 years in San Diego and Los Angeles. The first few years were fun “weeee it’s thanksgiving and we’re at the beach” but by year 4 I got super sad about it. Would drive to the mountains (big bear, mammoth lakes, sequoia) every chance I could. Finally moved to PAC NW and never looking back. Hope you find a way out too.
Dappin
In the meantime, go feed your soul in the local greenery. Topanga was always my favorite escape. I also highly recommend the Lake Shrine in Pacific Palisades (free but you need a reservation).
TinaTheWonderBra
Your home there looks like paradise to me.
zenoshogun
*ex-home
TinaTheWonderBra
Also depression isn’t a first world problem. Sometimes brain no produce things right and it fucks with us badly.