Yoda1PositivityStar
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Jul 15, 2021 7:02 PM
Yoda1PositivityStar
105203
3148
33
BojanglesTheFlyingCar
DenounceAll
It’s a fucking goldfish. Just bury it in your back yard like a real parent
Jafar1987
Completely true. Dad works for water systems in small town, including the lakes/ponds. City spent millions just TRY & get it under control.
ApparentlyImaPsychopath
I had a tiny goldfish that grew to be about a foot in length, last time I checked he was still alive in my friend's pond
HighlandViking
georgedragonslayer
Goldfish do get quite big. Catfish do to. Spoon bill Lake of the Ozarks.
TheCorporateMudkip
I use to bowfish and carp will get huge we could find female about to spawn weighing as much as 40lbs and about 2 1/2 to 3 feet long
UnhelpfulAnswers
Oh lawd he swimmin
theoggoldfish
What asshole downvotes a gem like this?
iDontBelieveInIsms
Two assholes
KsuviKhor
Absolute unit
Bakerino
Can't believe the size of this lad
Undrave
Also, don't use a fishbowl.
jrbaconchee
Finding Nemoof
CriticalCritic
I wonder how good they are grilled?
PrincessPicklebricks
Some folks will eat them but it's considered a trash fish.
GutsTheStruggler
Not.
CheddarDreams
Found a goldfish in a bag on the ground after a carnival. 8 years later he is 2 ft long and turned completely white. Named him Lucky
IamfunatpartiesIknow
Can we flush them like Nemo?
BadWolfDancer
this is why when i worked at a pet store we wouldnt sell goldfish to people who didnt have at least a 20 gallon tank with a filter.
BadWolfDancer
any smaller and they die a horrible death of their insides growing too big for their outsides :(
spitslap
Flush them down the toilet like a normal person
Spinagatr
Not if they’re still alive!
ImNotTaylorSwift
Don't do it. https://youtu.be/wP3Z-LDGsuQ
Snarkywisecrack
Or put them in with the cichlids.
BagofWeed
i use to get a bag of 25 or 50 a week for my tiger oscars !
FinrodFelagundPrinceoftheNoldor
Ehh, they're not the best food source, but could certainly be a snack. I might have difficulty if I've kept it for a while though!
DargonBall
I saw a Billy & Mandy episode as a kid about this and it didn't go so great
JAVSmasher
It technically solved the problem
KrakedUp
Love that show.
v
dojustice
At worst, you vodka them to death. Humanely. Look it up if you need it someday.
FinrodFelagundPrinceoftheNoldor
Or clove oil, yeah. Anything is better than the sewer, really.
ButtStuffPrincess
Everyone who down voted this comment has owned fish and enjoyed the hobby.
BeneGeuse
I own fancy goldfish (ryukin and enjoy them and still thought it was funny
Zahnradfee
I never owned fish, but I still think flushing fish down the toilet is awful. Bury them, if they are dead, rehome them if they are alive.
EchoReaper
enter the Sewer Mega Goldfish
ThomasThundersword
Meet a giant fish?
natachan
Elchupanebre (sp?)
HighwayStar82
New DLC for Depth!
CodeBit
burntcustard
Sewer Mega Goldfish and Gutter Rat Queen
MatrimBloodyCauthon
Read that as Sewer Maga Goldfish. I dunno what my brain conjured up but I didn't like it
anyway188136
Why not selling them to people with koi ponds? They would make a great addition to the gang.
TheWarHymn
Koi is different from goldfish.
2074red2074
Same family though. They aren't the same species but goldfish would do jus fine in a koi pond.
TheWarHymn
More about whether a koi pond owner will want goldfish in it.
zeusfdelta
DiscountOneLiners
this is where I hop off this post
Djinnistorm
IAlwaysUpvoteBirdies
gmomomo
Love it! Where is this from?
zeusfdelta
Shibuya Goldfish
gmomomo
Thanks!
yeyacid
.
FeloniousMonk13
just eat em
Zahnradfee
Better feed those goldfish to your pet alligator. https://youtu.be/fzXiUxwGGIM
SqueezeMyRubberBalls
Place a used to fish in the UK has mixed carp and koi carp hybrids. 18-20lb orange lumps swimming about. Never caught one.
chirlishgambino
Gold fish aren’t as cute when they’re that size
Carl99
Thats a disagree from me.
Tumescentpie
Just wait until they evolve into a dragon.
MacDaddySmitt
I imagine they're edible, but is it even palatable?
2074red2074
You like carp? Goldfish are carp.
MacDaddySmitt
Hehhh
TheWarHymn
Alot of bones.
orbitn
The trick is to boil em really good and the flesh comes off the bones. Just like people.
SmileHighSteve
Spootanany
Better yet, stop abusing goldfish by cramming them into small tanks and stunting their growth. They shouldn't be the common pet tht they are
RyanAndTheQuestForWorldDomination
If by “stunting their growth” you mean literally letting them exhibit their incredibly unique evolutionary advantage that lets them live in>
RyanAndTheQuestForWorldDomination
A wide range of viable environments, then sure.
Spootanany
How long do you think the average pet goldfish lives?
westwood8183
It's a myth that they only grow to the size of their container. They end up stunted and deformed when kept in a too-small tank.
Spootanany
I don't think he's going to acknowledge us lol
Spootanany
https://www.fishkeepingworld.com/how-long-do-goldfish-live/
Spootanany
Hey, you just going to ignore me? Why comment if you're not willing to interact
RyanAndTheQuestForWorldDomination
Because I have things to do and places to be and I don’t troll imgur all day like some people? I’m definitely gonna ignore you now though.
Spootanany
Fact is you're full of shit and you don't like being called on it
Spootanany
You had 19 comments between this one and my initial response lol
InsolventTacos
cybercry
Philip j fry approves this
notthatoneladyyoudontlike
notthatoneladyyoudontlike
AgingVideogamer
chewybacon
Played it. Got that ending. Did not see it coming.
Bigbadteddy
HAHA, that game is hilarious.
mvnash9000
orbitn
what's wrong with you
OneHandedComent
Oh my sweet innocent child, you have no clue how far away I have strayed :)
MrJimmyRustles
Just a Gay fish, move on.
LeagueOfIncrementallySizedOctopi
You assume the fish is male? TYPICAL
DiscountOneLiners
Does he like fish sticks?
MrJimmyRustles
You bet they're gonna be on the menu
JahNoodles
.... but can we eat them?
DarthFutuza
Yes, but it's not very good.
Mergetvs
They're carp so I reckon
Zahnradfee
Yes, if you're an osprey. In a lake in my country there are goldfish that have been washed there from garden ponds during a flood. Turns >
Zahnradfee
out the ospreys love hunting those goldfish, because they are highly visible and easy to catch.
Totallyscrewedinaustin
They taste bad, is my understanding
Mergetvs
Doesn't mean you can't eat them!
Anddroid
Just bring in a bigger fish that will eat those big goldfish. Problem solved. (That was easy!).
LegendaryGrumpyCat
You bring in a cat to eat the fish. Then a dog to eat the cat. Etc, etc.
korvkiosk
UserSubImgurian
NoGynocologist
They really should’ve thought of this already. I mean, it’s seems so obvious. You’re a forward thinker.
BlueTyphoon
wobblecopterrrr
catherinecc
Lol, 2020 featured otters eating the goldfish in the Japanese garden
catherinecc
Here in Vancouver
varchld
Cats like fish right? Start breeding lots of cats and release them in the wild, they'll fish them out for sure!
Anddroid
"But at what cost?"
v
Yellowchopsticks
Tacocatsupreme5
This is why I love Imgur.
MapleSyrupMafia
We tried that a lot, with just about everything and it worked really well. Why is there Asian Carps in the Mississippi again?
iguessihaveto
Cause some fucker was farming them for food in hurricane alley, wasn't it?
MapleSyrupMafia
Yes. We have European earwigs in North America, killer bees and all the "problem solving" species that are now a thing here.
slaitch
I sort of want to do a multi-year breeding program to produce cold-resistant piranha. See how local wildlife officials like that one.
JackieTreehornProductions
We’ve got plenty of invasive species that are collapsing our fisheries thank you very much.
JackieTreehornProductions
https://www.nwf.org/Educational-Resources/Wildlife-Guide/Threats-to-Wildlife/Invasive-Species
Leithoa
I saw those horror movies!
Anddroid
Capital idea. Let me know when you set up the GoFundMe for that.
Gayforbae
This sounds like a kimpossible villian thing.
HeyLookItIsAChair
Reminds me of New Zealand fish terrorist, Stewart Smith. Who illegally released thousands of fish into New Zealands water ways for 40yrs.
BrazilianThunderPanda
funnymunqee
cold here in utah, have pulled piranha out of local waters https://www.deseret.com/1992/7/30/18997027/jordan-fisherman-hooks-11-inch-piranha
funnymunqee
over the years happened multiple times, in different places, so...
Patronsaintofboredom
JohnBluehill
You. I like you.
HARDCASE715
There were a couple in the St Croix River. they were able to survive the winter by staying near the Xcel energy plant discharge. 1
HARDCASE715
Or so goes the fishermans' tale. I've heard a couple stories from people who claim to have caught them in Stillwater.
PrincessPicklebricks
I've heard of folks catching Pacu that thought they'd caught piranha
HARDCASE715
That could be true, Either way fish from south america surviving Minnesota winters is impressive in my book.
MrMetroid
Tumescentpie
Asian carp is already kind of like that. They eat whatever and they are dangerous to anyone boating on the Chicago river.
korndogg83
They’d resolve the giant goldfish problem in a heartbeat.
OneHandedComent
But then you'd have a piranha problem. Guess we'd need to release crocodiles
Neotic357
What's next, water Python?
ControversialLeftistLesbian
Found the comic book super villain. Do you plan to give them legs and the ability to breathe oxygen too?
TheLovelessHummingbird
Spider legs ?
devasto
"I don't like this at all" - local wildlife official
ControversialLeftistLesbian
"This is fucking awesome!" -Guy named Tommy I knew from high school and was always stoned AF and thought everything was awesome.
ControversialLeftistLesbian
No we didn't date. I'm gay AF
Angrymechanic
Shit I bet tommy thought that was awesome
talianagisan
so really gay or super ultra mega gay
ControversialLeftistLesbian
Yeah sure.
thepromisedLAN
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Smagalicious
What do they taste like?
ILoveDogsWayMoreThanYou
Fish
Totallyscrewedinaustin
The bottom of a lake...so, like shit
DingoMatt
Ya ever ate possum? That's some good eatin'. Possum, raccoons, even zebra meat. Pigeons. Pigeons are good too. Sometimes they come with 1/
DingoMatt
little notes attached, it's like a fortune cookie with wings. SQUIRRELS! Squirrels is not so good. They taste like goldfish, meats 2/
DingoMatt
real stringy. Know what I mean? /3
IamfromCanadaeh1983
I can only assume like cheesy flavoured mini crackers, but bigger?
jeeps005
now i want a big giant cheesy goldfish
orbitn
Wait, those things are supposed to have a flavor? I've always found them orange disappointments. [insert trump joke here]
bamcobra
No need to insert joke. You spelled it out right there: Orange Disappointment
winniegrey1005
Probably like the mud they stir up... Mince the meat and season the crap out of it then cook into fish cakes.
dart223
Like carp
TheWarHymn
Bony bottom feeders. Not the best.
theUFCfan
Catfish and carp are bottom feeders and they taste amazing
TheWarHymn
I prefer bass and trout, but I guess the more people catching and eating these invasive species, the better.
Meltemi
In addition, goldfish are a type of carp.
JamieSommersWonderWoman
Pardon my ignorance but, what's the problem with having oversized goldfish on lakes?
Yoda1PositivityStar
Degrading water quality and uprooting native water plants
TitsandDragons
Goldfish are considered a n invasive species and out compete native species and throws off the local ecology & pollute the waters
JodiNunya
They have a huge waste load and eat everything fish/bug/plants.... EVERYTHING
trigonman3
TheWarHymn
They're basically carp - rats of the lake. They're aggressive and outcompete native fish, dig out native aquatic plants, and once they grow/
TheWarHymn
past a certain size, nothing in the water can predate on them, so their population explodes.
teenytinylion
Also goldfish are really dirty vs other fish. They produce a lot of metabolic waste (pee)which may what is meant by degrading water quality
teenytinylion
Fish pee is secreted through thier skin. I used to keep them and if you didn't swap the water often they just pee themselves to death quick
RyanAndTheQuestForWorldDomination
I also do not see how they could cause more damage than normal wildlife would. They’re literally just orange carp. Carp are everywhere.
samurai77
Carp don't belong here either
AManisNotACamel
They were introduced into Australia and they absolutely destroyed the native fish population. It’s illegal to throw them back when caught.
TheWarHymn
Carp isn't native to North America...
RyanAndTheQuestForWorldDomination
Still everywhere.
TheWarHymn
Still not native to North America.
RyanAndTheQuestForWorldDomination
That has nothing to do with releasing a carp into a place that already has carp in it. If they are native or not is by that point irrelevant
SupposablyPersnickity
Goldfish will only grow as big as their environment will allow. Lake = holy fuck!
leonaNoodleBreaker
This inaccurate. They grow to an average of 1ft. Unless you have a pond you shouldn't have a goldfish.
jonlememe
False! I tossed one in the ocean and it died within minutes!
palfreygames
Let them into the ocean, a gremlin tale
FajitaPrinceofAllMexicans
I will make a sea monster by throwing them into an ocean. (Yes, I know they're freshwater.)
KoboltWolf
Their bones can be stunted, but not their organs. Eventually they'll die before they can get as big as they should.
MyBigMouth
I wonder how big Lake Superior Goldfish are?
borocanuck
Too cold for warm water species?
PastaJesus
Can't get too big or the sharks get them
Valahuir
Tasty Blue reference?
isthisusernamealreadychosen
BojanglesTheFlyingCar
The pike love em
TiredOldBroad
Maybe put some more pike in the lake? Or Muskie?
BojanglesTheFlyingCar
Id love that. Would rather get more salmon
wobblecopterrrr
They are of superior size..
GeraltsUnpaidIntern
Not really. What happens is if they're kept poorly (ex in a fishbowl swimming in filth), they end up stunted and deformed.
SyntheticReindeer
I wonder what goldfishes tastes like.. apart from gold.
leonaNoodleBreaker
They are carp so not great but they are edible all the same.
tumppu
What about those thrown in oceans?
georgedragonslayer
I... Never mind.
wobblecopterrrr
NotHerrVonClaussen
Not a marine biologist but freshwater animals dont survive long in saltwater. Saltwater animals have, like, special glands/blood or somethin
montee
Thank God. Imagine whale sized goldfish.
FinrodFelagundPrinceoftheNoldor
In so far as they will die or grow sick once their enclosure doesn't fit, yeah, that's sort of true.
Kehy
The problem is that the bones stop growing, but internal organs don't
FinrodFelagundPrinceoftheNoldor
Never quite the ideal situation, yeah. That's why I keep my little killifish in nice big tanks, just to make sure everything is okay.
Kehy
If you're breeding, the smaller ones could be fine short term, but large is good.
FinrodFelagundPrinceoftheNoldor
True, yeah, it's tough to find the eggs in a bigger tank, so I don't get as many babies.
Outforalark
Theres an old quarry near me that's now filled with water. Someone put goldfish in there and they're huge.
Tony7Atlas
Imagine Them in the ocean! No Limit
undeadlemur
Lets toss em in the ocean! Oh salt water...maybe they can evolve
DarkBusterBaron
Same with catfish.
habibiyousaid
False, they'll grow as big as they damn well please. Then you get a bigger tank, and a bigger tank, then it's time to dig a pond..
bigfishy
Can confirm I have fished there caught a gold fish was very confused.
DiskettesAndGravy
Is goldfish tasty?
2074red2074
They're in the carp family.
bigfishy
Smoked might not be bad if the lake is clean
imakeurglassesfoggy
They are made of gold so probably not
BrainDrayne
This is super false. No animal does this.
RobinDude
I once had a hamster that shrunk itself permanently to fit inside its tubes. Cage was previously home to a RoboDwarf and I didn’t notice.
Kahneolus
Brits moved to America... look at the size of them now.
gummyloaf
They once released a goldfish into the oceans. Now their name is only spoken in a hushed whisper. Goldjira
stinkbeaner
That's fucking awesome
BrainDrayne
It's also untrue. They still grow but slowly and deform to fit an inadequate space
RobWasHere
And then die painfully
deamhan
Also a complete fallacy
HorriblyPositive
Not complete, their growth can be stunted by environmental factors. It's not an unlimited upper bound though.
RobWasHere
Yeah, stunted by death so I suppose I see your point
HorriblyPositive
It's more accurately stunted to death. Which was the point. They don't die quickly they often die of complications due to the stunting.
Ghost0fDawn
Or is it?
Kehy
Correction: bones stop growing. Internal organs do not. This does not benefit good health or humane care
HorriblyPositive
That's what I meant, as clarified elsewhere in this thread. They don't stop growing because they die, they die because they stop growing.
HorriblyPositive
But they definitely stop growing.
KodiakDDS
It is a complete fallacy, they just die quickly in small environments due to stress and most likely, improper care
RavenVG
Did... Did you not see this news? They don't always die. It's not a complete fallacy.
KodiakDDS
So in this case, a lake, is not an example of a "small space" hence why they are growing large. Did you not understand or are you trolling?
Badoop
So…stunted growth? Lol
KodiakDDS
Trolling is a bad look on anyone
iclimbslowly
Stunted growth and death does not equal oh don’t worry they only grow to their environment
aSuspiciousPanda
Not in a healthy way where they live a long life.
ChocoladeMelkSnor
Will it shrink again when you put it in a bowl or a small tank?
Grandolddrummer
mephitman
You have to run it through the dryer on high heat first
CosplayComet
Story Prompt: Explorers in Loch Ness realize that Nessie is actually a goldfish.
lolface
No wonder the water is murky. Need to do a water change
DashDaddyD
And he still wants his tree fiddy!
vargul16661
Gold fish is evolving.... .... ... Goldfish evolved into: Loch Ness Monster. Give nickname to Loch Ness Monster? Ok. Nessie has joined u.
WeirdViking
Well i mean magicarp turns into gyrados... kinda same i think
weaselodoom
YesYouJustLostTheGameAgain
I’d pay $3.50 for that goldfish!!
DreadCarcass
Dont you talk shit about nessie
[deleted]
[deleted]
JCBalance
Nah, but probably a whale dick
CosplayComet
Oh I'll do it! I'll do it in STORY FORMAT too!! Try to stop me!!!
Tivec
Ping me when you have it written! I’m up for this read!
DreadCarcass
I think it was Madigan that has half a standup about her. Pretty good
Anitahardick
I'll stop you... for about tree fiddy.
Kerblamo
JackOfAllTirades
I thought the Loch Ness Monster was bears?
InquisitorOctaviusoftheOrdoMalleus
I mean Magikarp does turn into Gyarados
KeetSqueet
TheMouseOfMadness
where I grew up there was a local legend about a diver checking a dam that refused to go back down because the catfish were as big as he was
0urLady0fPerpetualExemption
You from Oregon? I’ve heard that exact legend about a lake here
IMayNotKnowWhatIAmTalkingAbout
Used to work at a marina near a dam. Our divers said the same thing.
papinpc
Went fishing last summer in a river where I only ever caught small fries. A 5 feet catfish took the bait and broke my rod...
Thisishowitsgonnaend
https://youtu.be/_IHpTBtHrQQ YEP
globalt38
Ghostsandwitch
I heard a story about a chicken truck falling into a lake and the retrievers saw the chicken eaten whole by catish.
motionlesskookaburra
that's sounds like lake of the Ozarks
malenurseormanpurse
My Dad's best friend used to dive and check out the dam over in Genoa Wisconsin.... He pretty much quit after doing it for a year because1/2
malenurseormanpurse
The catfish down there are so huge he says that if anyone drowned anywhere near the dam you will never find the body 2/2
SqueezeMyRubberBalls
Wels European catfish are massive. https://www.merkur.de/lokales/wuermtal/bayern-stockdorf-fischer-raubfische-fang-ueberraschung-wuerm-walle
etcnotect
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SqueezeMyRubberBalls
For locals only
etcnotect
I think your link might be incomplete
SqueezeMyRubberBalls
Tiny little stream that you can practically jump across in places or wave through.
tr26
https://largest.org/animals/catfish/
TheGhostofMaryStreet
Damn, I miss River Monsters....
Hapapotamus
Gesus Christ. Like, do you have to have special hooks/rods/lines/etc? I know nothing about fishing but.. DAMN.
Ludwigofthepotatoppl
Probably steel cable at that point.
BunnyBooBear69
Fuck me that mekong catfish is HUGE.
BojanglesTheFlyingCar
I've heard similar things.
romrider07
That diver dude on YouTube...can't think of his name dove Into a dam and they really were monster huge
Allanonshea1
Yeah they do get that big. And are almost entirely muscle so I do not blame him
minipancho94
Not a legend m8. There's fucking man eaters in some areas of the world. Easily 200+ lbs and 5ft+
Goblor
Yo why all these comments talking about monster catfish.. all near dams? how come a dam is so perfect for them?
ThaHumbug
It's not that it's a perfect environment it's that dams have regular maintenance. Theres big catfish in other places just not many divers
justiPumpkinTaker
By not saying where these other places are, I am now imagining them everywhere. Thank you.
ProphetofEntropy
any large river with catfish can have quite large ones.