dabydeen
21873
505
5
https://www.cnn.com/2025/05/15/business/unitedhealth-stock-ceo-investigation
May 15, 2025 9:42 PM
dabydeen
21873
505
5
https://www.cnn.com/2025/05/15/business/unitedhealth-stock-ceo-investigation
NeoNeanderthal
🎉🎉🎉
ZeroLyfe
Odb718
Who's the next CEO. Asking for a friend
Dpatgotbanned
Praise Luigi
bippityboppitybuttsex
Fuck em.
DonkeyGoat
Greaaaattt. The agency I accidentally signed up for and am now stuck with for the rest of the year.
UmamiMama
"rising health costs"... Who caused that mother fucker? Your company sure didn't help it.
woozle
Sticklebrickk
"Welp, time to raise our rates to offset the costs of our failing company!" God I hate this country.
Affray
"Time to raise our rates as a last minute cash grab before this thing goes tits up."
StarscreamAndHutch
meganical
DeepThought42
LitterBoxKing
sindail
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1aDVtbGt6b3Y1bnVudGYxOHZkOXcxYXdqbWlqbjkzZWtjZzVkenV1MCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/XBoYoCVQNBpJe/200w.webp
baals
hyptosis
Primotimewaster
Meaning: he put enough time in to qualify for his golden parachute of millions of dollars.
Maineac239
I used to work for these fuckers. PTSD is real.
JohnSmithterms
BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
ToSisPoS
Breaking! Big company to close!
Breaking: company bought out by other company at 11th hour.
Wake me when it’s an obituary.
CRAAAAAAIIIIIIIIG
Please be Black Rock please be Black Rock please be BlackRock please be BlackRock.....okay fine I guess United Healthcare works too
blahblahbushes
"Personal reasons" A.K.A. "gettin' the fuck outta Dodge before the shit hits the fan"
SavageDrums
Fuck em, hope a lot of rich assholes lose a lot of money here.
SteveMND
"And then The Wall Street Journal dropped the hammer, revealing that UnitedHealth is under federal criminal investigation for possible Medicare fraud"
Yeah, like this Administration isn't going to have THAT casually wiped away or way or the other.
VonSnootingham
They can't be guilty of Medicare fraud if there's no Medicare.
mafiacarstarter
Only if they pay the proper bribe.
FelonyRaptor
Get Trump a big ass gold painted chair and that'll do it.
JackieTreehornProductions
a few dinners at Mar-a-lago and it will be fine
jetah
teh Luigi effect (or affect, i'm bad at knowing which to use).
newsguycraigevans
SpawnLegacy
Less than 5% of the world's population has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. They just have to find one that's competent.
Eyeetsass
Is a bullet allergy a personal reason?
Dustorm
Often violence is the answer.
1010001
If we look at all of human history, violence is pretty much the only answer that actually changes things. Sternly worded letters don't work.
miklkit
Luigi for the win!
rosshell2718
GussDeBlod
"I have a bullet allergy, I cannot continue as a CEO. "
baals
SithElephant
I feel that should be something he can only claim if it's properly tested by a allergy testing squad.
keystotheairlock
I genuinely wonder how many death letters these people get. Is it like Harry Potter's Hogwarts acceptance letter[s?!] where no matter what they do, they're just completely overwhelmed by repeated, graphic descriptions of their own murders, and it h a u n t s them?
dudbdjf
I imagine they used to think they were untouchable and laughed them off. But also I’m not sure how many people in despair actually threaten revenge. Maybe condemn and try to shame, but actual death threats might be rare.
enderite
And it’s not covered by UHC.
wandermanspacebot
If that were the case, he probably wouldn't have taken the job in the first place.
somethingsomethingwittyhere
He can retrain as a Colin Mochrie impersonator.
bippityboppitybuttsex
Resigning doesn't relinquish responsibility, he must still be held to account for the deaths he has directly caused.
baals
MeeseOnABeam
seems like killing thompson directly saved lives of greater virtue, huh, weird