LeeeB
74154
1986
8
May 31, 2024 8:37 AM
LeeeB
74154
1986
8
jmoore1500
This needs to be a book. IMMEDIATELY!!
RexMori
One of my favorite series has the greatest dragon in the continent extend his protection to a lowly accountant because if there's 2 things a dragon likes its making more money and being left alone by the authorities.
Shaodyn
"Lord Zeus, I hate to tell you this, but it sounds like your computer has a virus. Your anti-virus software should have caught it, but it didn't. We don't need to get into how it happened," you glance nervously at the sky, "but I'm sure I can help you fix the problem."
txtbookpisces
Eris has her own line with a warning notification. "She's calling again, Phil it's your turn." "Ugh just eat my lunch...."
FPAlpha
Been literally there and done that only that the Great Destroyer was not a supernatural being but my own father.
It got so bad that we didn't speak and see each other for weeks at a time.
Rocketpocketpants
This feels like something Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie would do as a skit. I wish I could find there tech support skit, it is a classic.
whosbestmom
I love this--sent to IT help desk son--I'm sure he'll appreciate, wink wink . . . he loves getting stuff from his mom . . . wink wink
VodkaReindeer
Don't call her an ancient supernatural being!
moxythree
I have never seen the word “welcome” fucked up that badly. How in sam hain did you manage that?!?
Feanordidnothingwrong3000
God I can't tell if this would be better or worse than doing tech support for your parents
Shapster
So. U have met my parents
cuddleskunk
"Greatest Tomcala, She Who Binds, I do not believe that the peoples of the Internet who share your interest in bondage do so in the name of asceticism...and when I said fetish, I wasn't referring to trinkets or statuary...hmm."
Bob122872
I would watch this on Netflix.
Akasha157
Hulu maybe? Amazon Prime? Honestly, put it on all of them so everyone can view, I mean the gods can do that too right?
LittleAzie
Still don't understand why tech support is such a shit job. For most places, you have to possess a degree, some certs, and good knowledge, and yet $14 an hour and only paid if you actually receive a call...
LupusLilium
Because to many it's a 'why do we pay you' when nothing is going wrong, and yet again 'why do we pay you' when things are going wrong.
VictusVonGuyver
Reminds me of the Angels in the prophecy film series. All of them refuse to use modern human technology. They'd rather create an undead zombie to drive for them than try to drive.
derekjohn
All I got from the Goddess Anoia was this bent egg-whisk.
The701
"Five hours of your life later..." except it's only been 10 minutes. Merely hearing the language of the dark ones can do that to you.
TattoosAndTENS
Laundry Files vibes
ExTechOp
Sounds a lot like The Laundry Files https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Laundry_Files by Charles Stross, and the things Bob Howard does. Until things really start going sideways. Equoid might make a nice starter: https://reactormag.com/equoid/
myfirstandlastpostever
lol, I just posted a similar response. Why oh why when I picture Bobs old boss, I see Nigel Farage?
VodkaReindeer
*hoard
ReturnoftheZombiePlagueApocalypse
Also . *conscience
xsmallwondersx
The ancient unknowable ones know the sacred rule, don’t mess with IT
xaviar3000
I do IT at a high school. For the senior prank they pulled chairs and furniture out of every room and filled the stairwells with them.
There was a note on my whiteboard: “_____: You may keep your chairs.”
Don’t mess with IT.
aiuta219
Sun Microsystems workstations used to need reflective mouse pads to work their mice. When I was in college I went around one day and swiped all the mousepads from the Sparc 5s from the engineering building and held them for ransom until they put orange slice back in the vending machines in the building.
aiuta219
CSB but in my IT job I set up network wiring and WiFi for a former all star baseball guy. While he understood that his kids could use the Internet without dialup to AOL, he did NOT understand that he could do it as well. I had to install AOL browser on his i7whatever gamer notebook and I made a little script that played a dialup sound he could run whenever he wanted. He still had a feature phone in like 2018, too.
xsmallwondersx
I may need that sound :D
aiuta219
I literally just found it off a Google search. It's very easy to find such a thing.
TheFastpaws
I'd mess it up as a Nero divergent fool and be cursed for life.
MenloPart
Neuro divergent?! :)
TheFastpaws
ADHD, OCD, eating disorders and other fun things. My brain actively hates me.
KR1570F
this is an unbelievable and absolutely ridiculous fantasy. Not even in a world of gods and magick will I believe that IT gets paid this well.
myfirstandlastpostever
lol, check out ‘the library files’ series by Charles Stross. The hero starts of in IT dept of a government agency set up to combat the supernatural and elder gods.
khold90
Technically they aren't even paid. Try depositing a pirate treasure chest into the bank. Or the ceremonial headdress that even if you could sell would be basically impossible to pay. The gods think "humans liked this stuff in the old times, they like them now" with zero concepts of our modern X equals Y compensation. Just "you helped, have something from the store room".
Foxsayy
I'll take a semi-regular haul of significant loads of gold and silver and diamonds instead of a salary any day.
Sreq
Dual major in computer/information systems and Ancient Deification Tongues, and they want me to start at $ 12.50 an hour? They better have amazing benefits…oh. Oh wow. This retirement plan is insanely good.
Zahnradfee
Is it: "Your soul will devoured last"?
Sreq
I was leaning towards ‘Heaven/Eternal Paradise/Nirvana( the afterlife, not the band(unless that’s your thing)), but with some gods, being devoured last might be the best you could hope for.
JoschiGray
Im Shadowarun 5 (a cyberpunk pen and paper game), dragons exist and it plays in the year ~2080. Dragons are incredibly powerful beings and slept for a long time. Now they awake in a world full of technology. In one book is a story about someone who was hired to explain the matrix (VR Internet) and devices to the dragon (who already ate her predecessor, because he got annoyed). It is probably one of my favourite chapters in all the SR5 books.
LupusLilium
RIP Big D, you protected us from something humanity at large barely understands or can even fathom the destruction they'd reap.
MoopsyLD
a mindscape that allows you to view and experience mindscapes created by other people - Solved that for you incase you ever encounter this scenario in real life.
srsfaceI8C
Shadowrun is such a fun setting. I would love to get a TV adaptation of some kind. "Bright" was close but trying to be it's own thing so it wasn't as strong as it could have been.
JustAnotherRabidToaster
Bright really needed to be a mini-series to really flesh out the world and the characters. As it stood, it felt way too rushed.
reddenbocker
Have you played the games by Harebrained Schemes? The first three, 'Shadowrun Returns, Hong Kong and Dragonfall, are some of the best games of their type I've played ever. Give them a try if you haven't.
JoschiGray
No, but they are in my backlog for some time now.
Shaodyn
That would be a real "My life is getting super weird" moment. "I'm sitting here at a desk, trying to explain modern technology to a 1,000-year-old dragon. The woman two cubicles down is an elf, and looks 25 even though I know for a fact she's almost 90."
Minnakht
Unfun fact: Neither of these would be true in Shadowrun! Dragons tend to be at least 6000 years old, since they hibernated for the age of low magic which lasted 6000 years, and elves only started being born again with the new age's beginning, which was in 2011, while the current year ranges between 2050 and 2080, making the oldest elves you'd meet at a desk job between 40 and 70.
Shaodyn
I was not aware of that. My knowledge of Shadowrun lore is pretty sparse.
spittytrinkles
Bruce.
spittytrinkles
Son of Bruce.
spittytrinkles
McBruce.
spittytrinkles
The Bruces of Face,
spittytrinkles
Mc Bruce.
spittytrinkles
Loch Ness...
sevenfingerman
Further down the row of the desks sits Matt, whom no one likes, watching the two
Of you enviously while a human heart beats on his desk.
eetsumkaus
Rman12
After helping the eldritch God clear his search history, Matt was given one wish as payment. He wished that the heart of the one he loved would be with him forever (Matt felt poetic at the time).
JohnThatcher
Plot twist: it is his own heart.
javadad60
Double twist! It's now much easier to clear out the plaque in his arteries with his toothbrush.
mattrixk
I don't like this, not one bit, but it does seem about my luck.
SignedEpsteinsMother
It's hard doing tech support for Tezcatlipoca.
TiffanyKorta
Could be worse could be Xipe Totec, the Flayed One
The701
Tezczuppourtt
sevenfingerman
He knows that if he eats it he will be utterly fearless and have thhe strength of ten men for an hour, but afterwards he will have the shits. Something about Montezuma and his revenge. Matt stares at the heart wondering if it’s worth it, it hasn’t been so far.
For its part, the heart squelches and throw blood onto the TPS reports.
DaveTheScientist
Beautiful
sevenfingerman
Thanks, I try.
Mikeiller
"You're lucky Matt, I worked for this triangle guy and all he gave me was a severed head that won't stop screaming."
xizar
Better than a used mannequin.
Gayforbae
Lol I just finished mass effect and the leviathan dlc gives you a severed husk head to put in your office that does nothing but scream if you touch it or interact with your space hamster nearby.
TheMightyMollusk
Sadly you can't actually let Vega bowl with it down in the hangar bay.
Gayforbae
I always kinda thought it was a little disrespectful. Becauae that used to be an innocent human...
TheMightyMollusk
To be fair, it could've also been a criminal or a Cerberus trooper or something. We really have no way of knowing. (Just try not to think about how it ends up if you pick Synthesis.....)
BastofBelial
Since Bastet would probably be my assigned god, all I would get is dead birds lol
Zalm
Bastet, the Egyptian goddess of health, happy and horny? You gonna get some butthole pics. Both from horny, and cuz cat.
ComicPi
It's my experience that catgirls are pretty good with computers already
Shaodyn
What do you suppose the goddess of cats would need tech support for?
Faddatyme
Duh... cat videos 😁
Gayforbae
How to run the cpu at max resource usage so the laptop is a comfy warm place to nap...
Shaodyn
That sounds reasonable.
scatter
Prime95 ought to do it
Zahnradfee
The computer mouse?
Shaodyn
"I swatted the mouse off the desk and now it doesn't work. Suggestions?"
Zahnradfee
"I accidentally ate the mouse and it tastes terrible. Who is responsible for this and where can I find them?"
WynnCreek
"No Cthulhu there arent hot single squid in your area, it's just a scam"
reddenbocker
But it's his dream though, so maybe for him they all DO exist exactly the way he thinks they do.
JaimeLannistersRightHand
He's just trying to get some Cthussy...
Bob122872
No, no!! That Nigerian prince doesn't need your help, don't click the :::exasperated sigh::: link. You clicked didn't you. ::mute:: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU*****KKKKK!
BARose
I ugly laughed lol
rubypilgrim
"But we have something way better. Cat videos, Imgur and Oglaf! And you can get yourself some cute custom crop tops on Etsy."
Gayforbae
@botdrawa cthulu in a slutty crop top, bara style.
BotDrawA
[NSFW] @Gayforbae Here's your (experimental extra) drawing of a "Goblin that looks like Stained glass window of cthulu in a slutty crop top, bara style, in style of David Finch, in steampunk style, in The White House"
BotDrawA
[NSFW] @Gayforbae Here's your drawing of a "cthulu in a slutty crop top, bara style."
LtRooney
Okay, none of those are slutty crop tops, but I do like that doublet.
Gayforbae
Nope. Wrong. Stupid ai