How to leave work early: Advanced technique

Jun 13, 2025 2:20 PM

ReadyGo

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114774

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358

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13

Original: Aaron Gonzalez

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*shat

4 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Well, this ain't gonna work for me. 😔

4 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Can confirm. Got to go home. Did happen the one day we had a camera crew in the lobby so ... you know

4 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The only downside being smearing your car seat with feces. Best to keep a large towel in the car at all times, just in case.

4 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I was laid off two months ago. There's nothing I'd like more than to be at work today.

4 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Bold move Cotton. Let's see if it pays off.

4 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That doesn't work for the president. Though I wouldn't call what he does working...

4 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Had a bunch of 18-19 year olds start at my factory. Like the whole hire of like 8 of them tried the shit your pants thing. My job learned after the first two kids did it. Now, if you shit your pants, you got home change and shower (you get one hour unpaid) and then you must come back. If you dont you lost 2 of your 7 yearly allotted points.
Reach 7, your fired.

4 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I work at United Pant Shitters LLC Incorporated Company International Worldwide….so, no, it won’t work!

4 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'd have to eat them first.

4 months ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

interesting strategy

4 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Have a good* day at home

4 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My wife had a coworker call out once because she pooped all her pants. At least, that's what she said and even if its a lie you've earned that day off because now you're the lady who pooped all their pants

4 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Dude! It didn't fucking work! They promoted me, and NOW I'M RUNNING THE DAMN COUNTRY!?

4 months ago | Likes 159 Dislikes 3

Holy shit I love you for this comment!

4 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Peter Gibbons??

4 months ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

A pair of pants is still just one pants

4 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Considering that is coming from a sentient pair of pants, I think it just has a scat fetish and is looking for an excuse.

4 months ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

it's a jeanius strategy

4 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Sound.

4 months ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 2

Too bad Kmart died. This commercial could be viewed as part of its death throes, I suppose.

4 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I absolutely love the dude who shipped his bed. His delivery is perfect.

Plus shitting the bed is one of my favorite phrases. That and 'shit itself to death' I use that one a LOT when it comes to computers. iirc a few weeks ago I actually printed a tag for one of my server's drive cages that said exactly that.

4 months ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Best commercials ever!

4 months ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I tried this and it didn't work, but I work from home.

4 months ago | Likes 62 Dislikes 0

I accidentally tried this (trusted a fart after having a stomach bug) and couldn't leave work. Went to the bathroom, threw the underwear in the trash, cleaned up, and went back outside.

4 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

try again just in case

4 months ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0