Shit I send my best friend to make her hate me more than she already does

"I choose good looking and pick two"

Me any time she invites me to a party and vice versa

I did this one to her in person
Me, dying laughing: "bless you"
Her: "fuck you more than anything else"
Appropriate response, I think

My siblings always told me growing up that needing a weighted blanket meant I had autism
Turns out it's just depression

"that's just a glorified crouton"

I'm the only gay girl in my school....

Cat tax that didn't go at the end for some reason
This is Monti