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Scientifically Proven Guide to Ordering The Perfect Salad by The Huffington Post
I saw the Huffington Post guide to ordering/making your own perfect salad. I just merged it up and uploaded it to share with everyone.
KeliAldrege
and getting caught in the rain?
jeffreybaratheon
Does it bother anyone else that they're listed as both "peppers" and "bell peppers" with the same image?
graychristopher
Holy shit, put all of this fucking in me.
doublekross
What's with all these fucking vinaigrettes? There are other salad dressings.
belthasarthegreat
I find the lack of raspberry vinagrette disturbing
WilsonFisk
My salad is avocado, period
jhuck
I like to believe you didn't finish this list.
rooble
Favourited to certainly use again. Do like a salad.
dana74
I hope those vinaigrettes at least have olive oil in them or they're pointless--you need fat with veggies to get the vitamins.
CuCupops
Sauce?
GalaxyHigh
I LOVE SALAD
tankmemes
if unsure, walnuts
razetherunner
as a Californian, all decent food starts with avacado, bacon, and cheese. then you decide what you are going to eat.
SihayaOfTheAllPowerfulMeh
False. Beets and blue cheese.
Hadleigh
If you love mozzarella cheese: Pair with tomatoes, olives, salami, pizza bases. Make pizza. Fuck salad.
thegr8rambino
lol ya
WalkerLillard
I actually cried a little bit laughing at this.
JustACanadianChick
It actually looks delicious, along with the feta cheese with olives and grapes and shrimps one :)
ProcrastinateurParExcellence
Nah, salad is all right. In another room. Eaten by another person.
nickg131
What do we say if they ask for their steak well done? We ask them politely, but firmly, to leave. =|
TheGriffin
Lettuce, Bacon, ranch. Done.
TheLadyNym
Love avocado, hate onions, allergic to nuts. Fuck you, list.
whydouwanttoknow
Am I the only person that prefers french dressing
ChristaE
I prefer them undressing... but that's just my dirty mind ;)
CoastalBiologist
If you love [salad topping], use ranch
MrKnesh
YOU WILL NOT TELL ME HOW TO MAKE A SALAD! I can fuck that up enough well on my own!
racem93q
You think this is a fucking game?! - salad.
NSFWThatShit
YOU PAIR APPLE WITH BACON BUT NOT WALNUTS? YOU SWINE YOU!
bambootoes
Beets and goat cheese is seriously the combo of a lifetime.
shtehfawwwwwww
Now I'm no salad expert, but isn't lettuce also usually an ingredient?
CptTeaBeard
You know they're american when a salad has bacon but not lettuce...
drlazercatz
Now, I'm no expert graphologist, but there's a goddamn picture of a lettuce at the top.
AyeDavanita
That's kind of a given.
ravenfreak
Prefer lettuce over spinach any day.
rudejohn
Mmmmmm romaine <3
Hexofin
I can't be the only one who disagrees with this list, can I?
faulerwulf
Considering half this list contains nuts and shrimp that i'm allergic to, and the other half bacon/meat products i don't want, no
TheBooleanOperator
No. No you are not. Why the red onion with every kind of meat ? I hate raw onions of any color. Would never put them on my salad.
whoah
My list: If you think it's worth a try, toss it in. Eat what you fucking want and stop trying to act sophisticated; it's all subjective.
Dekacube
i always get downvoted when I saw this. +1 for you
Dekacube
say*
agoraphobiotch
So...I get no salad cuz I'm allergic to vinegar? Thanks huffington post...
meowzoemeow
thanks obama
AyeDavanita
wtf. allergic to vinegar? How does that even happen?
agoraphobiotch
No clue, never had an issue. Tried to make homemade cleaner with orange peels and vinegar, migraine every time I used it, now every time 1/2
agoraphobiotch
I eat anything with vinegar, mayo, mustard, ketchup, salad dressing etc, my face starts burning and my lips feel swollen...ugh
HaniiPuppy
For Feta: Lettuce, cucumber, plum tomatoes, sweet pepper, mushroom, red onion, boiled potato, chorizo, with olive oil, salt, and white...
HaniiPuppy
...wine vinegar. Lettuce + tomatoes chopped, everything else diced. Obviously, remember the (diced) feta as well.
AbnerCadaver
If you love bacon, pair it with egg, pancake and hashbrown.
azurepenguin
I'm pretty open about eating exotic foods and animals of any sorts and I don't want to eat hashbrown ever again. Its existence infuriates me
simpsr79
welcome to the swanson society. on Wednesdays we wear sensible shoes.
hellafordays
Son, we wear sensible shoes every day.
Vandercookie
It was a mean girls reference.
SMforreals
You are now ejected from the Swanson society for using a mean girls reference.
SMforreals
Whatever "mean girls" is.
Wearegrootsplaything
Also a nice maple syrup dressing will mak for good "salad"
waffleninjer
Instructions unclear. Paired bacon with bacon. So yeah, it was pretty cool.
plasticbagdriftinginthewind
If you love bacon, eat it with everything.
UserSubrero
Or a nice burger
razetherunner
or shrimp, the 3rd best food wrapped in the first
Unplugg3dToast3r
Correction: if you love bacon, pair it with bacon, bacon, and bacon.
hitmanunknown
http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luk5eeOBmh1r5r5uqo1_500.gif
chonas
If you love bacon, set it free.
nbduncan
Breakfast of champions... atleast Americans... :)
Knn715
"If you love bacon, pair it with sausage, ham, and steak." -Possible Ron Swanson quote.
mybrothersmario
this morning was the first time I've managed to eat a large breakfast in a long time, eggs, bacon, pancakes, and toast.
BrettTurner
Entirely too many vinaigrette dressings.
MathSalts
balsamic vinegar all the way
TastyBrainMeats
That stuff's awful.
MathSalts
Goes great with lettuce. If you're needing it for a giant, heaping, mound of big'ol floppy dicks however, I wouldn't recommend it.
TastyBrainMeats
It tastes like sweat smells.
MathSalts
And salty too I hear
BeagUan
Yes! I'm like, which salad goes well with ranch dressing?
nbduncan
If you love Bacon, Pair it with Bacon, Bacon and Bacon.
KingoftheIntroverts
Bippity Boppity Bacon! Now it's an entree.
nbduncan
One of my favorite Jim Gaffigan skits... That and the one on hot pockets.
KingoftheIntroverts
Diarrheaaaaaaa Pockeeeeeets!!
DMKgames
ChangedMyName
Instructions very clear, had bacon
simpsr79
welcome to the swanson society. on Wednesdays we wear sensible shoes.
justsherlocked
+1 for you, good sir.
CyberAkuma
Then wrap it in bacon.
SmashYourLife
485 points too late to post this myself.
meepmerp
~ a message from Ron Swanson
thegr8rambino
AHHAHAHAHAHA
registeratwork
Just a thought, you could add some bacon to the side
nbduncan
you are a god among men
chlorophyllboraphyll
And cheese.....With bacon
khora
and beef.
Ahobonamedslickback
literally the 3 things I hate more than anything are eggs onions and tomatoes.
chewbaccali
Bacon is now a proper noun
Gingingergypsy
The fact that this comment is right below an almost perfectly identical comment with less bacon is perfection. +1 for you both
nbduncan
That person who posted the same comment, apologized for making the same comment.. LOL I told them no worries :)
BabyGiraffe
Alright, Ron.
iwantoffthismerrygoroundnowplease
I did not mean to copy your comment. I seriously posted first before I scrolled down and saw this. My apologies.
nbduncan
No worries, great minds think alike :)
iwantoffthismerrygoroundnowplease
Yes, we do.
Newphonewhodiz
The best pairing
LifeHasManyDoorsEddBoy
You forgot bacon juice. Didn't you see the dressing column?
nbduncan
someone did mention Bacon Vinaigrette...
LifeHasManyDoorsEddBoy
Sorry, the comments only loaded after I'd posted..
nbduncan
No worries, all is fair in love and bacon :0
LifeHasManyDoorsEddBoy
Ah-hah, definitely. I work at a fastfood place where we constantly cook bacon. Heaven. We even cook other things in the bacon juice.
SportsAreFun
I knew this was fake when it implied there are people who love beets.
indref
Beets are easily my favourite veggie.
crowey92
roast them...trust me
indref
Alrighty, Mr Crowey92!
CyberAkuma
I can't imagine people like those things considering that they are always dropping them.
HeelsAndHockey
have you never met a russian?
Reg06
In Soviet Russia you love beets!
Tuwonwon
They're nature's candy, don't ya know?
Spacebread
And now we know whose house not to visit on Halloween.
BoxesofFoxes
Beets are delish! Also, how can you say you hate The Beets? AIIIEEOOOOO KILLER TOFU OOOEEEOOO KILLER TOO-FUUUU
dana74
I love canned beets and have also had them in borsht, a Russian beet soup. The greens are good too (at least in borsht).
GhostlyRomaines
I call Borsht
dana74
Could be that you've only had them canned and hated them that way. I was the same about asparagus but I like that fresh. So experiment.
somethingsomethingflowers
*nom nom nom*
FlyingTigerRose
I love beets!
516ox
Steamed beets are my favorite :(
spacecadetout
i love beets http://media.giphy.com/media/DxdthrYeqtWaQ/giphy.gif
ProcrastinateurParExcellence
Beets are absolutely essential on a köttbullemacka, or with pyttipanna.
marquisdechocula
A köttbullemacka without rödbetssallad is like a flärdfull without a snickargården, amirite?
CyberAkuma
I refuse to believe some languages weren't made by just mashing randomly on some ancient typewriter.
hoofbeatsandsnowflakes
I like beets. My mom pukes when she eats them though.
Rainalor
http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrkx5vwMT71qfsl1oo1_400.gif
FScottFitzBaioWulf
You know who loves beets??
GrumpyPlatypus
Hey, I like pickled beets, especially in a salad with hard boiled egg and ranch.
TheHippieMermaid
Also lovely with cured herring!
CuCupops
Yummmm. *Drooling*
urvogelarts
Yay, pickled beets!
doesacarebearshitintheclouds
Haha had the same thought, I like beets but does anybody love beets?
CuCupops
I definitely love beets! Pickled, canned or fresh.
MeganMeow
I do! On burgers!
doesacarebearshitintheclouds
I like when I'm wrong, it means I'm consistent
MeganMeow
I love beets, especially on burgers. But I'm Australian.
turkeydonkey
WentzofFoles
Beets are my favorite :(
CuCupops
I love beets!
lunaisbestprincess
You haven't met my family.
cemmykins
I like beets :(
boomer98
Are you by any chance... A Bear?
andjustlikethat
But do you love beets?
ISeeStoopedPeople
Please seek help. We still care about you. It's not too late.
cemmykins
BEETS TASTE NICE! BEET ENTHUSIASTS UNITE!
TheCanadianBeaver
There are dozens of us! DOZENS!
Irishda
By our powers combined WE ARE...nothing special really.
morrvard
Hey, beets have feelings too! Delicious feelings!
morrvard
But seriously, beets with feta cheese, basil, olive oil and salt
broughham
Y NO RANCH?
UsernameAlreadyExist
Silly broughham, ranch is for pizza.
WilsonFisk
The casual of dressings
Anonyfurb
The keto powerhouse of dressings.
yourenowbreathingmanually
What is this, the peewee league?
BlitzerRhames
Dangerzone
marquisdechocula
found the American
MathSalts
If you want to add ranch you honestly should just have a burger instead; give up the pretense that you want something light and healthy.
Nerdygasm
I'm just watching you plummet. Makes me feel bad and I didn't even downvote you.
IDidNotChooseTheNerdLifeItChoseMe
I agreed with you @MathSalts, sorry brochacho/girlchacho.
MathSalts
clutchthepearls
If you're eating a salad to lose weight/watch calories, then skip the ranch. If you like the taste or veggie nutrients, ranch it up!
ProcrastinateurParExcellence
That's actually not a bad idea! Thanks, guy!
Spongybunny
You don't have to want something healthy to want a salad. You can want an unhealthy salad cause it tastes damn good, not fooling yourself.
resipsaloquitor
I read once that fatty dressing helps digest the vegetables. Or something. I'm clinging to that.
MathSalts
Nah bro, google ain't showin nothin
drlazercatz
most of those cream-based dressing have hfcs so i reject them. (i should just make my own.)
MagentaHawk
I appreciate you. I now believe that and will never question this "fact". Thank you.
resipsaloquitor
I got your back.
GittOffMee
You were right-ish. Some vitamins (A, D, K, E [the fat-solubles]) need fat to be absorbed. Healthy fats in small amounts are best.
resipsaloquitor
Sorry, stopped reading after your second sentence ;) Thanks for tossing in the science!
GittOffMee
I didn't mean to misrepresent - I'd sell my first born for an unlimited supply of Newman's Own Ranch.