
When I watch the sequel to a movie before the original

If you can read this, you don't need it.

No title

Born to be wild

Life finds a way

...But why July 29th?

But that's just my opinion.

10 minutes after I decide to eat healthy

Anyone remember the 1998 McDonalds promotion for the Disney film "Mulan"

That just raises further questions!

The comment section is going to be a trainwreck.

MFW I hear Waluigi won't be in the new Smash Bros

I can resist everything except temptation

Is this too subtle?

She and I had... Chemistry together

So my ex-girlfriend just got engaged to a woman.

When I'm doing my best to cope with a shitty situation

Ee'dplebnista norkohn forkohn perfectunun

Wait. No, this is just a scene from The Dark Knight Rises.

I'm not even sorry.

Göhl, Germany

I'm a piece of shit.

I'm not even sorry.

I say William Shakespeare had the right idea.

At least I think I'm funny.

Can you name three things America has given to the world?

Last month my best friend received a heart transplant.

Door dings after leaving my car in long term parking at the airport.

Garden hose can't melt steal beams?

I found a shop that sells bundles of sticks

Why I respond to serious questions with Futurama references

Today was my Cake Day. This is my cat.

When I'm waiting for OP to deliver

Ladder Cat

Seatbelts to maximum buckling!

My ex-girlfriend just got engaged to a woman.

One of Spiderman's lesser known powers

MRW I'm waiting for my friend to text me back

Happy Friday the 13th!

One of my favorite lines

MRW my shit's on fire, yo