MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
164221 pts · February 19, 2013
(Sorry in advance)
You'll love Imgur if you:
•defend gun violence with, "There are other kinds of violence and causes of death too, u kno"
•regard anti-feminist sentiment with your own, such as, "Lol, sexism isn't real anymore," "All feminists hate men, EDUC8 URSELF," or "I'm all for equality, but hate feminiminimism"
•hate black people and pat yourself on the back when you come across an anecdote of a BLM supporter being dumb - "I TOLD u guys them black people are thugs, I told u!!!!"
•hate Muslims - "lol u mean terrists lol haha aloha snack bar lmao"
•hate fat people - "obesity pls work out u fatty lol do u jiggle when u walk"
•hate skinny people - "omg giv her a sandwich b4 she starve herself or just have her make 1 for me lol haha I like curvy women [and all women on earth solely exist to please me]"
•hate vegans - "lol stop telling us ur vegan even though you haven't mentioned it once I bet u vape and do crossfit also"
•are 14 and something all the time and seek to gain approval from your fellow winners
•are a dude and go crazy whenever a picture of a woman is posted because it's a gurl from the real lyf, do those exist??? But complain about impossible standards when an occasional fit guy's picture makes FP
•like making stereotypical "offensive" jokes to seem edgy on the internet and get your fragile ego wounded when someone makes one about your age group/race/gender/culture/philosophy/nationality/country
•think you're 3edgy5everyone and aren't above using [read: recycling] any category of jokes - abortion, mental disability, physical disability, holocaust, rape, murder, torture, slavery, necrophilia, pedophilia, incest, beastiality - but are too much of a pansy to venture into any of the 4Chan boards of the edgelords you worship
•think you're a special snowflake with original and unpopular opinions/ideas that are 100% unoriginal and popular - "I m so scare 2 say this irl b/c it unpopular, validate my opinion u freaks I kno u dumbasses agree"
Slightly less negative subject: "Lik dis if u cry everytim ;-;" was what made me join (I was newly an adult, leave me alone)
I've never lurked on Imgur. I just saw that, and BAMLOVEATFIRSTSITE!
NSFW posts and most of the overused phrases on here are repelling:
"Name? For science!"
"I would disappoint her so hard"
"Does she...?" - contribution credit to @ICantDrive
"Sigh...*unzips*"
"Because you touch yourself at night"
"P...put your d in it."
"Don't stick your d in crazy"
"Is your [S/O title] single?"
"Prepare your inbox"
"Step 1: be attractive"
"ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!"
"[Adjective] [noun] is [adjective]"
"You win the internet"
"Parenting: you're doing it right"
"You're doing God's work, son/sir/ma'am"
"See you guys in hell"
"One of us!"
"I logged in just to upvote this" (But thank you for sharing so we could finally go to sleep at night)
"+1 for correct usage of [meme name (unless it's accurate and about a Puffin)]"
"There are dozens of us! Dozens!"
"Faith in humanity restored/lost" (Is it that easy for you to lose/regain faith in all of humanity through ~2 pixels? I know it's not literal, but srsly)
"I'm okay with this" (praise the Lord!)
"Came back to upvote" (praise the Lord × 2!)
"My bro-varies just exploded"???
"I'm a man with a beard. I made an unmanly sound" (we get it, you have male reproductive organs and hair on your face, this shockingly does not exempt you from having emotions) - contribution credit to @NyashaChidume
"I'm not crying, you're crying"
"Boop the snoot"
"Slower, you slut"
"I made a thing"
"." (Usually used by the 14 and hungry crowd) - contribution credit to @MOTHERFUCKINGLUCIFERMORNINGSTAR
Cringy terms:
"Updoot"
"Floof"
"Danger noodle"
"Mlem"
"Boop"
"Snoot"
"Sauce" instead of "source" (interesting fact: Imgur isn't 4Chan, we're allowed to ask for sources)
"Feels train"
"Squee"
"Adult" [as a verb], -ing, -ed"
"Freedom" as a verb/unit of measurement
"Imgurette"
"Doggo"
Other things:
"creative" displays on people's profiles. Such as:
"Something about myself/yourself"
"You're probably here because I've either pissed you off, or made you laugh"
"If you're not an asshole, you get my upvote"
"If you're an asshole, you get my upvote"
Wtf is up with Imgurians' general obsession with the term "asshole," taking it as a compliment and proudly describing themselves with the word? "No one irl likes me because I'm a piece of shit, but I'll act edgy on the internet and pretend that it's intentional"? Am I the only one who reads it this way??
The best username-related reply I've ever received: http://i.imgur.com/B41m1lx.jpg
I L♡♡♡VE username-related witty and/or funny comments
Best username-related gif: https://i.imgur.com/8aT7C8g.gif by EnjoyThisGIFofYourUsername brought to my attention by one1deuce via https://imgur.com/gallery/x0UxgCK/comment/1423582553 ♡ biggest honour so far :')
What I hate when they're not meant to be ironic/mocking/satirical /sarcastic:
▪"no offense, but [offense]"
▪when someone DOESN'T LIKE SPAGHETTI. DAFUQ IS YOUR PROBLEM, BRUH? WHO HURT YOU?? ARE YOU ALLERGIC???
Imgur isn't bad, despite all the preceding BS I've listed. We're all just a bunch of freaks in our own ways, I guess! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I could post all the good stuff instead, but that's what favourites folders are for (feel free to check 'em out, but I haven't sorted everything out (yet(?)))
Imgur's actually really entertaining, funny, educational, emotional, heart-warming, hopeful, and sometimes mind-blowing - so JOIN US if you haven't already (bb pls ♡) http://i.imgur.com/NUyttbn.gif?noredirect
TL;DR: I just really like my mom's spaghetti